The Joy Of Growing - SweetSue Goes Perpetual

Daily Update: Dark Devil Auto - Day 57

The tent is opened, and the first thing I want to do is check on Karshnikova. I had to dash when I spotted her yesterday.

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Looks good. She's up. That's all that matters at this point.

Since we had some sunlight this morning I lifted my Dark Devil off her SWICK and onto a stand in the full glory of Sol. The little Cheese Candy seemed to appreciate being along for the ride.

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Let me step back and keep my mouth closed so you can simply scroll and enjoy.

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Bold, deep coloration and lovely waxy surfaces on the leaves, stem and branches strong as fiberglass rods, and trichomes busily coating every surface. This is one happy little Dark Devil. :slide: She's small, but mighty.

I took a look at how everything sits under the light and I don't believe it's necessary to add any more CFLs on the other end of the tray. Once Dale's first pension check hits the bank I'm getting a shelf unit and rearrange this entire spacial set up.

I had a moment that DrZiggy will appreciate. It suddenly occurred to me that my "hobby" is going to cost me a pretty penny every month for seeds. As in my total allotment for the month. Looks like the garden needs a raise. :hmmmm:

Still waiting on my delivery. I can only wait for another half hour and then I need to get to my beloved. We have a meeting with the vascular surgeon this afternoon. Honestly guys, I'm scared out of my skin. Trying to maintain a veneer of calmness and not succeeding well at all. To have wasted three months apart from each other and possibly be right back staring at surgery again....... Right back at square one. How? Why? Hanging in limbo is crushing his spirit and there's only so much my bubbly personality and playful teasing can do. This feels like we're getting to jump off an edge.

Despite the fear stalking me I shall endeavor to spread joy and peacefulness at every opening. It's the best way I know to step outside myself and get beyond the anxiety. I'll be joyful from my center, you be joyful from yours. You probably won't even realize the person you affect the most, so have no hesitation. Just toss it out there with abandon. Let's light up the world. :laughtwo: :Love:

Today I'm the windshield. I made my choice and I'm sticking to it. :battingeyelashes::slide:

:Namaste:


As soon as I gave up and climbed the 40 stairs to get ready to leave for the day - you guessed it - UPS guy left me a note! Now I need to do it again tomorrow.
 
So the day turned into a shit storm. The nursing staff misread the appointment, which isn't for today, but rather the 8th of June. No steps were taken to get him in earlier as promised, due to the deterioration we can see going on.

Turned right into the bug. Damn!

I lost it. Threw things, punched walls and door, cussed like a sailor, screamed, hollered, cried. Ended up with the entire staff at the door trying to calm me down before they had to call police. Took the nursing super an hour to get me to where we had something of a plan moving forward.

I think it's taking a greater toll than I admit. We're looking into programs for a chair lift. I need him home. I need him home. I need him home.

I can't seem to stop shaking. Gotta get it under control. I want my windshield status back.
 
:green_heart::hugs::green_heart:

Life sucks, and you keep moving. I know I'll be ok by the time I fall asleep. I'm going to go home and explore the world of bluegrass music tonight. No way can a person stay morose when you're blasting out the sweet tones of bluegrass. :laughtwo:

See? Even the thought made me laugh. :laughtwo: I flash big, bad and bright, but I settle quickly too. Quirky me. That's why Dale sits quietly on the edge and let's me get our frustration out. It's a good cop/bad cop thing, in its own way. He knows it needs to be expressed and it will motivate change that unfortunately requires this type of shitty outburst sometimes. Then I have to spend all this time apologizing and forgiving myself.

Such is life. It's really hard watching the person I live for die in slow bits and pieces. Every once in a while it becomes unbearable. The staff here has seen me in some of my worst moments. They are surprisingly gracious.

You guys pay attention to those joy lessons. It made me joyful to see how much you all cared. You make me proud. :Love:

Looking forward to being lost in music. Ahhhhh. Let me get packed up and get moving.

Love you guys. :Love: :kisstwo:


I know what I need! Dad Life video. Hahah! Yep. Laughter, the best medicine.
 
That's the best video in the world. I posted it on my Spot. You owe it to yourself to watch it at least once. :laughtwo:
 
Radogast said:
Thanks for stepping up with comments folks.

I'm at a loss for words and ashamed of my inadequacy - every thought seems such a platitude.

I admire those of you with the courage to reach out and recognize our common humanity.

"Life sucks, and you keep on moving" - true that!
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I would never consider anything you said a platitude Rad. You always speak from the heart. It was overwhelming. It stuns me too. Hugs work best FWIW. :Love: harder to pull off in a virtual world, but I have a sound imagination. I can feel them from here.
 
So I have to share. I left the nursing home as a gentle rain started up. I've been working lately on learning to go into the rain without an umbrella. At 61 I wanted to grow comfortable with the feel of rain again, so I stopped carrying an umbrella and began learning to stand unflinching in the drops.

There I was, enjoying the feel of the gentle moisture on my skin when the heavens opened up into a serious cloudburst. That lasted 10 minutes. Not quite monsoon, but flirting with it. :laughtwo:

After about five minutes I was dripping wet. At that point I decided to lift my face to the skies and just let the rain wash all the anger and frustration away. Anyone ever try that? Highly recommended.

So here I am, finally home and still damp around the edges. A hot and steamy shower to wash the chill away and I can settle into an evening of music and heal enough to get back out there tomorrow and do it all again.

There you go. Windshield. :cheesygrinsmiley:
 
SweetSue said:
So I have to share. I left the nursing home as a gentle rain started up. I've been working lately on learning to go into the rain without an umbrella. At 61 I wanted to grow comfortable with the feel of rain again, so I stopped carrying an umbrella and began learning to stand unflinching in the drops.

There I was, enjoying the feel of the gentle moisture on my skin when the heavens opened up into a serious cloudburst. That lasted 10 minutes. Not quite monsoon, but flirting with it. :laughtwo:

After about five minutes I was dripping wet. At that point I decided to lift my face to the skies and just let the rain wash all the anger and frustration away. Anyone ever try that? Highly recommended.

So here I am, finally home and still damp around the edges. A hot and steamy shower to wash the chill away and I can settle into an evening of music and heal enough to get back out there tomorrow and do it all again.

There you go. Windshield. :cheesygrinsmiley:
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That was beautiful!
 
SweetSue said:
You raise a good point GhettoGro, and one I've been mulling for quite a while now. Wouldn't it be nice if we had an index at the first page of the journal where the grower could enter the post # of each update? I had no expectation that my journals would attract such a crowd and eat up the pages with engrossing discussion like my last journal did, and this one is developing to. I'd like to find someway to index. I'm still trying to find the time to index and cross-reference my first two journals to salvage the bulk of usable information that was connected to them. I'm an educator by nature and training, so I'll figure that out eventually. Maybe I should take it up with the mods, see what we can work out.

Now let me get my update done. Another seed popped, yet again in the kit soil. I must say, I'm mighty impressed with that soil's ability to get the babies started. It made me rethink and I'll be doing my next SWICK trays with kit soil only from this point on and making my LOS 7 gallon pots their own perpetual garden.

I have to say, once I get another LED panel I'm excited about doing the 15 gallon as an LOS perpetual. It's going to take me quite a while to work through the kit soil, but when I do I will probably be converting back to an all LOS tent. This kit was a gift, and one I am thankful to have received and thrilled to play with, but it's no big secret that my heart is with the soil food web that lives in Living Organic Soil, and I look forward to years of demonstrating how easy it is to build and maintain an LOS no-till.

Be back soon. The darling little pixie Dark Devil is stunning today. Getting frosty!!! :slide:
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I know I m resurrecting this: but I'm pumped someone else has thought of this besides me. If we could edit posts indefinitely then we could make a first post with an index and just link each "Grow Post" in the first post (index).
 
SweetSue said:
So I have to share. I left the nursing home as a gentle rain started up. I've been working lately on learning to go into the rain without an umbrella. At 61 I wanted to grow comfortable with the feel of rain again, so I stopped carrying an umbrella and began learning to stand unflinching in the drops.

There I was, enjoying the feel of the gentle moisture on my skin when the heavens opened up into a serious cloudburst. That lasted 10 minutes. Not quite monsoon, but flirting with it. :laughtwo:

After about five minutes I was dripping wet. At that point I decided to lift my face to the skies and just let the rain wash all the anger and frustration away. Anyone ever try that? Highly recommended.

So here I am, finally home and still damp around the edges. A hot and steamy shower to wash the chill away and I can settle into an evening of music and heal enough to get back out there tomorrow and do it all again.

There you go. Windshield. :cheesygrinsmiley:
Click to expand...

After my dad died, I went to the hurricane deck at Niagara Falls (my first time.)
The water smashing me around was seriously therapeutic... loved it! Needed it. Kept the flip flops :)
 
ClosedCircuit said:
I know I m resurrecting this: but I'm pumped someone else has thought of this besides me. If we could edit posts indefinitely then we could make a first post with an index and just link each "Grow Post" in the first post (index).
Click to expand...

I think you hit it right on CC. To be able to go back and correct glaring mistakes would help immensely. I've dreamed of being able to drop a user's guide into the beginning of a journal after the grow was finished, that would include relevant links, posts of particular interest and an index of updates.
 
Just over two weeks ago.


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I laughed right out loud with glee. Hahaha!

Ooooo, one of these days I'll get back to larger plants. I'll have a better understanding of the craft by then. :slide:
 
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