The Beauty Of The Changing Seasons

Wow, are those shots using the panorama on the side? Just gorgeous. We do not have trees that tall here. Our trees have enormous, but low to the ground canopies. Especially live oaks.

Yes, my exam went very well. I thought I posted how it went. All the assembly tests, math to a certain degree and ADD tests were easy and I could just tell I am not any of those things. What I had the most trouble with were word association memorization. He'd read words in pairs, say them using only one word and I had to fill in the second word, but I could not really do that one. Also, story telling and remembering details. NOT. Short term memory was horrible. Duh. If this test tells me I have short term memory loss I'm going to scream! LOUDLY! But it was only 4 hours and it will tell me something.

I know Canna had a procedure, but I didn't think it was today. Canna?
 
Oh, the sideways pictures are taken on the default mode on the S5. So are the up and down ones, I just turned the phone. The aspect ratio is the same as the screen on the phone. I didn't use panorama mode.
 
I feel a little awkward posting this, but the turn of events with my son has me fucking scared. We're dealing with a severe mental illness issue here. The fact that he has developed a probable sensitivity to a medication that has worked well for him is devastating. There is no telling what will happen on the new medication, and not taking medication isn't an option.

Many people think that cannabis is a panacea - a cure all. In Junior's case it is one of the worst things he can do. It leads to bouts of extreme psychosis, so please refrain from suggesting I feed him some in any form.

Tonight I'm allowing myself to be scared and sad after being upbeat and positive all day. Tomorrow I'll hike up my pants and meet the challenge head on.
 
Oh Lordy, PeeJay. What can one say? Top Dad? Obviously. I think when you're dealing with very difficult and worrying situations there are times when you can just put your head down and get on with it and then those frightening moments when it all gets too much and reality bites you. Any intelligent person would feel that way. Prayers for you and your son. And with full depth of meaning, that old Catholic sign off (I can't shake it off, you know)...Peace be with you.
 
Peejay, my heart goes out to you. I know cannabis in not an option in a lot of cases. Is your son still with you I hope? I would hate to think how you are feeling if you have to think about this with him so far away. I will keep both of you in my thoughts today for sure.

It is strange that he would develop changes with what has worked for so long. I'm sure you've read up on the side effects of the new meds and will be watching carefully.

It's great that you had a nice morning to nature walk and a great breakfast. I'm thinking that helped him (and you) keep your mind off troubling things.

Let us know how you and Junior are doing!

:circle-of-love:
 
GF, glad to hear your tests are over. Hopefully you will get some solid answers.

:circle-of-love:

PeeJay is right, my follow up test is today. Not looking forward to this one bit.


BTW, nice photos Peejay! Love the trees. :)
 
Good morning lovelies. Peege, I'm so sorry about your son. May I ask what his diagnosis is and what medication he's become sensitive to? I ask because my mom is a psychiatric social worker for her entire career, still doing it at 80, full time. She works with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, major depression, etc. She knows about medications and reactions and what the doctors do to help symptoms, etc. Maybe she will know something the doctors don't and there is an antidote to the reaction.

The new meds won't work immediately. Is there any overlap using the old meds? My heart goes out to you. How old is your son?

Sorry to ask so many things and PM if you don't want to reveal this here. Maybe we can all help work something out. Not with cannabis, with psychotropics. He obviously benefits by taking them.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))
 
I just have to post my little surprise this morning, one of my home grown beans produced twins!

double_yoker.jpg
 
Yepper, I call it a double yoker. LOL
 
Ha! remember I had one of those double yolkers a while back? The little one died off in the end.

Thanks for the offer to help, GF. Your mother must be a special person to do the work she does. My son is 21. He has acute type 1 bipolar disorder. He's a great kid. He was lucky to inherit his mother's good looks. Unfortunately, he also inherited that demon from her. Interestingly, his half brother (31) has the same disease. His half sister (26) does not have bipolar, but has some serious anxiety issues. They manifested when she was 16 as a life threatening case of anorexia. Sister is a beautiful person, worked and still works with counselors and doctors to manage her illness, received her master's in psychology last spring, and is a great role model for her little brother. It would be difficult for your mom to help since she is so far away, doesn't have access to medical records, etc.

Both his mother and older brother have never stuck with any treatment for long and they are total train wrecks. I met and married his mother during one of her short stable periods not having a clue that there were some major problems. Son and daughter look at mother and brother and realize that treatment is beneficial.

I also had an adopted sister with the same illness who never stuck with treatment, preferring to drink heavily. She was found dead of a lung infection on her couch almost 20 years ago now.

Given my experience with dealing with the illness and my nature, you can imagine that I'm well educated about it. My son has an excellent psychiatrist and a fantastic counselor. We went through several looking for a good match. He had his first hypomanic episode about a year and a half ago, followed closely by the second. At the time he was living with his mother after being single parented by myself since he was 6. In his late teens he wanted to spend some more time with his mom and moved to live with her. He was in California when he became symptomatic, and moved back here when he became ill. He lives up by my Mom and went to a local community college there last year. There were a few bumps as he got settled and the school didn't go well, but he held a job the whole time, is much valued at his work place, and has lived by himself for the first time in his life.

He is actually moving down here this weekend into a place about a block away from me to go to school. It is a real bummer that he's hit this bump in the road right as he is making that transition. At the moment I am not with him since I have some meetings I don't want to miss today and tomorrow. I'll head back up tomorrow night and help him with his move. I'm only a phone call and a quick drive away if there are any serious issues before then. He has a good support system in place where he is, too.

He has been taking Lactimal (lamotrigine.) Skin disorders are a fairly common issue including one rare serious type that is potentially fatal. Stick a fork in Lactimal, that one is done. That's why when he informed me of the rash I sent him to the ER right away, and why I was there first thing yesterday morning to go with him to the psychiatrist. At the ER they told him to stop taking his medication and take Benadryl and contact his doctor as soon as possible.

We had a long meeting with his doctor, and could not come up with an environmental cause for his skin affliction (which had improved quite a bit over night.) So, basically, we had two choices. One, he could go into an inpatient facility and remain off his medication for a week until the rash was completely gone and then try the Lamictal again to see what happened under close observation. Two, we could change medication. His doctor felt fairly confident that the Lamictal was the cause of the rash, and that if he did option one he could have a much more severe reaction when he started it again. Inpatient psychiatric facilities are not fun places to hang out for a week, either.

Junior went to work last night (second to last shift at his job) and took his first dose of Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) last night after work. He stayed at Mom's house last night. The trileptal reaches therapeutic blood levels much more quickly than more traditional bipolar medications like lithium. It's just a matter of waiting and seeing if it's effective and he tolerates it well at this point - sort of like sitting on a powder keg. Hopefully it doesn't detonate.

While Junior must avoid cannabis (we've actually seen that smoking it causes him all sorts of problems) it is great for the PTSD like symptoms I have from dealing with folks with bipolar illness over the years.
 
Wow, what a series of events in your life and your Son's life PeeJay! Bipolar disorders are such a serious illness, so many people think it's just a higher form of depression. SO very wrong!

I sure hope he reacts well to the new meds and he doesn't have to spend any time in that facility!

Thanks so much for explaining all of that, and my heart goes out to you both.

:circle-of-love:
 
:passitleft: High PeeJay... My doctor put me on Oxcarbazepine for neurological pain from MS and I couldn't take it all. It made me feel like I was walking through molasses so I have been put on Valproic. I only started taking it 2 days ago and it is already re leaving some of the pain in my right side. I realize my issues are much different than having bi-polar but am guessing the side effects are somewhat the same.
My heart goes out to you cause I can't imagine it being my child. I would much rather have to deal with this myself than having to worry about it being one of my sons. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and you are never alone......:circle-of-love:
 
Of course I mirror what my home girls just said. You are right, but I wanted see what he was taking, etc. My mother cannot help him, but I can ask her what people are taking who've taken lamotrigine and had a similar reaction with skin inflammation. Many of the big symptoms are very common and maybe she knows something. Sometimes the social worker who is dealing with the client 24/7 in a facility group home setting can detect things the doctor can't. It can't hurt to ask.

You certainly have a lot to deal with. It is a very common part of bipolar to discontinue medications. They know it makes them feel even, but I've known bipolar people to go off medication because life was too dull. They craved the manic episodes. It's a vicious cycle, but it is nobody's fault, it just happens. Still a lot to deal with for you. And no, do not give that kid psychotropic anything without a doctor! Definitely not pot. It is not good for everything, and some mental illness is very difficult, as you know.

My heart goes out to you and your son and family. I hope this new medication is brilliant and works perfectly forever. However, I have one tiny suggestion if it doesn't pan out. Ask the doctor if he thinks it may be a way to go if he used the older drugs on him. Sometimes the new drugs are good, but they are also not fully tested the way drugs of old were tested back in the day. They are pushed through, which is why we have so many BAD DRUG lawsuits. For example my situation. I was diagnosed major depression back in 91. Definitely NOT bipolar. I'm not comparing it. Just using it to illustrate why I like old drugs which are proven safe and effective. So, they put me in the hospital almost despondent. I was in the room with the window, though no suicidal thoughts ever entered my mind, ever. They put me on Prozac. I took that for about a year and started to deteriorate. I had no emotions at all. No laughing, smiling, crying or having fun. I took myself off and ended back in the hospital again, much longer this time. The doctor put me on a very old drug, Elavil. I took that for about ten years until I felt stable and with the doctor came off the drugs. I no longer have major depression episodes. Probably because of my Buddhist practice and meditation/mind training.

I tell you this for you to discuss with the doctor going back onto the old proven drugs and see how he reacts to those.

No matter what happens, I am saying prayers for your entire family, with love...
V
 
Thank you Denise. I totally agree with you that it would be easier to deal with it in myself than watching the children struggle! Where the kids are concerned it really puts you through the grinder - very stressful. One thing I've noticed over the years is that the prevalence and severity of possible side effects with these type of medications vary greatly by individual. What does wonders for one person with few side effects puts another person through huge discomfort. The brain is a complicated thing. Unfortunately finding the right medication can involve a ton of trial and error. Hopefully the Valproic will work well for you! One of the scary things is you can read all kinds of horror stories about the bad experiences people have with various medications. The fact that the same medications have turned out to be wonder drugs for others gets lost in the mix.

Junior sounds good and upbeat this morning. He didn't sprout a tail or anything overnight after taking the first dose. :cheertwo:

GF, Junior first tried Depakote and it worked well for the mania but he had some crushing depression. Depakote has been used for many years. The decision to try the Depakote was based on what his older brother did well on. He seems to respond well to the anticonvulsants. Lithium is the longest used medication to treat bipolar and works well if it is tolerated. Unfortunately, Junior has heard both his mother and brother curse Lithium as poison since he was a little boy. That makes him a little scared of trying it. We talked about it with the doctor yesterday at length. If the oxycarbazipine doesn't work, we will try lithium next.

The older ex-stepson (what do you call a child if you marry a widow with children and then divorce?) fails on medication every time for the same reason. He LOVES being manic. If he is on meds and they are working he misses the "high." He likes to mess with his meds and take them sporadically so he can be a "little manic." Unfortunately the medications don't work like that! You can't just pop one when you feel like you need it in the way you can pop an aspirin for a headache.
 
Yes, I am all too well aware of what goes on with the stopping medications. As much as my mother is a professional, and is very good at her work, she sucks as a patient. At least one time a year she starts talking like a baby again and that is my first hint she stopped taking it. She doesn't have bipolar, but she has a host of other things. I am exhausted in life where she is concerned and have given about as much as any human being can to any one human being while getting absolutely NOTHING in return.

My dad raised me, not her. That should be your first hint. But, she is fantastic at her job. Maybe because she is ill, who knows. She is right in there with her clients. I decided not to ask her about your son. Never mind. I guess I felt so helpless and I wish I had a magic want to help your boy. Your daughter seems to be working it out. It's such a hard world when things aren't ideal.

Lithium is hard on the kidneys. My neighbor went and found a doctor who would give him ECT. I would drive him to that every week. He's come out like a zombie, but after he ate would be normal for several days. Then it comes leaking back and that no longer worked. It is such a hard illness to treat.

I'm so sorry.
V
 
One thing is for sure - dwelling on this stuff isn't healthy. Thank you, friends, for your ear. Writing about it a little was cathartic. Another thing I'm certain of is that observing and marveling at the natural world around us is ALWAYS good medicine.

*picks up remote, changes channel*

Old pic of a fat spider hanging in it's web at dusk.

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