LOL you one funny lady, the Mrs took one look at it and said what the hell did you do to yourself. I told her and see replied, you have done worse.I saw it. You poor victim of those vicious little bitty birds! (I'm laughing, but you aren't supposed to know that)
Get the Mrs. to put some healing salve on those wounds!
My guess would be a petrified sea shell that has been cutLove the Rhododendron!
Hope you don't mind a Whatizzit from my garden