GREAT NEWS!!! For anyone interested I'd like to announce that I am the very proud purveyor of my very own mmj license as of about 2:00 p.m. this afternoon!
Fin-al-fuck-ing-ly is all I can say. After all the machinations, after all the run around, after all the "We'd like your psych to sign off on it's", after all the bloody run around -- wait, I already said that, well there were a lot of them -- after all of simply IT, I went to a new doctor today and was rushed through the process so fast it was incredible and had my license within 45 minutes. (How's THAT for a run on sentence from the writer, eh?)
Seriously, I'm thrilled with my new status of being a medical cannabis patient. My prescription is for 4 grams/day (for anyone who knows the Canadian system), which allows me to buy 4-2/7 ounces of cannabis per month at a rate of between $6.75 - $9.50 per gram.
WHAT?!? Who are they Kidding? I don't have that kind of money. I live on government disability. So then that allows me to GROW up to 20 plants at a time, the seeds of which I'm supposed to buy from those same dispensaries that want to rob me blind. In other words, I'm only allowed to grow, hence use, the strains that the dispensaries dispense. No CBD Critical Mass, Yes Bedrolite. No Blue Dream, Yes Bediol. No Ice Bomb, Yes Bedica, No Cinderella 99, Yes Bedrocan, No Kali Mist, Yes Bedrobinol. You get the picture. All the wonderful strains for pain and anxiety and depression that I just finished ordering from my seed guy I can no longer grow legally because the Bedrolite, Bediol and Bedica are the only ones that my dispensary (or, Licensed Provider, or LP, as they are called in Canada) sell. I haven't the freedom to choose the strains I want to grow to treat my own issues. Fuck how I hate Canada even more than usual in this moment. I knew about this monolithical system before I went today, but I didn't have to think about it as it really is, in my face and up my ass. No matter how you try to work it they STILL control your every move here.
So now, in order to grow legally, I have to buy seeds from my LP and either use only those seed in my grow or, more likely, throw them in the toilet and grow my own seeds but be sure to keep the packaging to insist, when I get checked on my the authorities, that every one o f my up to 20 plants in my tent is of seeds that came in that one bag that those other seeds came in. "Yes officer, really, even that purple one over there. It's called 'Bedropurp' but they must have forgotten to list it on the bag! Yes, officer, i found that funny, too."
But despite all the problems and issues of BEING a mmj user in Canada, I STILL AM ONE AS OF TODAY!!!
And for that, dear friends, I am very, very grateful. Finally. There is an end in sight to some of this pain and some of this anxiety that the meds are unable to control. Finally an end to the Fentanyl patch and the addiction that came with it. Finally an end to all the bloody Tylenol 4s that I have to pop like candy and that barely touch the pain, anyway.
Finally, an end to it all (when my stunted grow finally begins to grow like they should and starts to produce some buds... But hey, who's counting the weeks? Not me!)
Goodbye pain and anxiety.
Say hello to the brownies!