Have you ever done reiki or have access to it?
Yes I have - and it was great. if I had the funds at the moment I’d try to have some regularly. Going out for appointments is not an easy escapade though - and house calls are expensive! Finding y way back to meditation will help... I’m on the way there...
My conditions are pretty specific, thanks to years of investigating them and healing... in concentric inward moving circles, if you know what i mean, that have brought things into more focus. I have strategies and techniques that work. And am developing new healing modalities all the time. TBH - I spent most of my adult life kind of ignoring a particular health condition by way of taking the ‘spritutal’ or ‘psychology’ path of refusing to believe in myself as a sick person. Unfortunately, and even though I’ve had a super healthy diet and lifestyle, this meant that a low level relapsing-remitting thing wasn’t, shall we say, respected and as I have now found out, the condition can involve deterioration if one doesn’t manage it accordingly - which I didn’t, I didn’t know. And I ended up rendered bedridden for a year and am effectively 90% housebound still, just by trying to live the life of a well person as if the force of the belief would be enough. So I’m in the process of shifting my ‘denial’ to a place that acknowledges the illness and promises to work from that knowledge and acceptance of it and therefore understanding how to do what is required to get my system out of crisis. That’s a very slow road I’m informed but I’m on it now and that’s what counts. And I’m learning to make peace with the ‘slow’ aspect (it really gives slow a new feeling - it’s a 2-3 year path to recovery, and not everyone gets back to their previous function - just improvement of various amounts). The manic state is in part a byproduct of an ANS that has no ‘off switch’, so relaxing and truly winding down is difficult for me (at a physiological level), while simultaneously I am quite exhausted, which adds to the manicness... and so it goes (throw some bipolar disorder at the systemic dysregulation and it makes for these manic times
). Hence cannabis is an excellent medicine for me to get to know. I’ve self medicated with it for large parts of my life without really understanding what i was dong - just thought I loved weed and was happy and life was better when using it, which is all true. I’m learning a lot these days that helps me understand that use. I really appreciate the accessibility of Sulak’s work. The way he makes it available to everyone makes it clear he understands the gift of healing and is confident with his place in the world and the capacity of the universe to care for him by ensuring he is well looked after for the work he does - which means he can share his insights, freely. Oh, still rambling. I’d better sign off... take something sedative and try to go to sleep
I typed that hours ago and didn’t post it. I’m now in the middle of the first night after my first day of abstinence... no real issue having cravings or anything. But I’m not really sleeping. I fell asleep for a couple of hours about 130am I think. It’s 430 am now... I’m realising how much I’ve been relying on the sleep it gives me. The legal herbs aren’t really cutting it tonight!
But maybe not. Maybe I need to think time differently... maybe cellular time is different to “human world” time. I loved that about the Matrix movies - how they were the first to offer these other experiences of space and time. I think about it when i see the birds chasing each other through the forest - darting between trees - and how slow we must seem to them. What is the structure of their experience of time? In what way do my cells experience time? That’s be a nice departure thought for a meditation...
