- Thread starter
- #13,841
Tonight is so weird. Like I don’t want people, but I don’t want to be alone you know?
Started mint! Not even joking! Look at this bath! Ignore the huge hole under my taps. I try to. And carcass and stinker I’ll be sending you both a sea salt scented candle for Chrissy! Legit smells like my house. It’s fucking mint.
But now I’m so fuckimg sad. Soooo sad. Like I’ve told you bad shit about Tan annd her cunt mum, and there is bad. But I haven’t told you good. There was good. She saw. Tan I mean. She knew. My lot in life wasn’t fair.
She tried to help me too. I didn’t tell you that. I reconnected with my dad after I had my son mainly coz I was outta options lolling. I had child protection breathing down my neck and I owed money to bad people. Really bad people. I moved, to dad, to her and hercunt mum. By then he was more her dad. I was his embarrassment. They let me stay for 4 weeks so I could save my single mother’s pension for a bond for a unit. I thought moving states would help me get clean. I think I’d hooked up a dealer within a week lol.
She tried to help me. She did. She tried to do an intervention. Her smug friends and her gorgeous boyfriend. He was a plumber. Look her friends weren’t smug. They were nice. I’d known them most of my life too. They were everything I wasn’t. Clean. Good. I remember looking at her ex as he tried to make me sit and listen. Swearing at them all, grabbing my baby and telling them they’d never see me again.
She did see me again. To lend me money I don’t think I ever paid back lol.
But back to good. We had the best night one night. I made her sneak out. We were so young. I somehow had Jimmy Barnes tickets on a VIP table. We did coke and had the best night. I ended up with Charlie Sexton, my only almost claim to fame. He was Jimmy’s guitarist and hot af, well to my 15 year old self or how ever old I was. Look in hindsight it was defs Jimmy Saville vibes, but at the time I felt so important. And it was the late 80’s. It was okay to groom kids back then lolling!
Bottom line is I’ll never be able to say goodbye. To thank her for trying. For giving me the white skirt with the pictures of fruit on it when I was 12. For looking after my son. For being so fucking fabulous I always felt like a dirty junkie in her presence.
The really fucked up thing. She never found true love and I did. She never bought a house and I did. She will never hold grandchildren and I do. How is that fair?
Anyhoo, I’m sad and I’m zooted but I’ll be sober in the morning lolling.
Started mint! Not even joking! Look at this bath! Ignore the huge hole under my taps. I try to. And carcass and stinker I’ll be sending you both a sea salt scented candle for Chrissy! Legit smells like my house. It’s fucking mint.
But now I’m so fuckimg sad. Soooo sad. Like I’ve told you bad shit about Tan annd her cunt mum, and there is bad. But I haven’t told you good. There was good. She saw. Tan I mean. She knew. My lot in life wasn’t fair.
She tried to help me too. I didn’t tell you that. I reconnected with my dad after I had my son mainly coz I was outta options lolling. I had child protection breathing down my neck and I owed money to bad people. Really bad people. I moved, to dad, to her and hercunt mum. By then he was more her dad. I was his embarrassment. They let me stay for 4 weeks so I could save my single mother’s pension for a bond for a unit. I thought moving states would help me get clean. I think I’d hooked up a dealer within a week lol.
She tried to help me. She did. She tried to do an intervention. Her smug friends and her gorgeous boyfriend. He was a plumber. Look her friends weren’t smug. They were nice. I’d known them most of my life too. They were everything I wasn’t. Clean. Good. I remember looking at her ex as he tried to make me sit and listen. Swearing at them all, grabbing my baby and telling them they’d never see me again.
She did see me again. To lend me money I don’t think I ever paid back lol.
But back to good. We had the best night one night. I made her sneak out. We were so young. I somehow had Jimmy Barnes tickets on a VIP table. We did coke and had the best night. I ended up with Charlie Sexton, my only almost claim to fame. He was Jimmy’s guitarist and hot af, well to my 15 year old self or how ever old I was. Look in hindsight it was defs Jimmy Saville vibes, but at the time I felt so important. And it was the late 80’s. It was okay to groom kids back then lolling!
Bottom line is I’ll never be able to say goodbye. To thank her for trying. For giving me the white skirt with the pictures of fruit on it when I was 12. For looking after my son. For being so fucking fabulous I always felt like a dirty junkie in her presence.
The really fucked up thing. She never found true love and I did. She never bought a house and I did. She will never hold grandchildren and I do. How is that fair?
Anyhoo, I’m sad and I’m zooted but I’ll be sober in the morning lolling.
Thank you!
Gotta find me a chalkboard and get out the kids sidewalk chalk! Try to get the Stains out of my sheets... 
The Bloom Room
The Veg Tent
