Birds of a feather Sue, my daughter came to me at 16 years old, nervously sharing that she smoked Cannabis. I NEVER shared anything with my young children about my Cannabis grows or use. My detached man cave was a no child zone (my grow area). One reason, and only one reason ... felony bullcrap ... I could lose my family, my job, my house and my freedom. If it wasn't that messed up legally, I'd have never hidden anything about it from my kids.
Anyway, I calmed her nerves and strongly explained my legal concerns, and not any other misled parental finger-shaking, I knew she was going to grow up and do what needed to be done, experience the world. A few weeks later at a July 4th party, we shared our first joint (hers) and it was bagseed crap. It was maybe at best a 5 out of 10 rating. I slipped away, went and twisted up one of my 8 month cured top shelf Northern Lights nugs, and shared a few pulls with her. Does responsibly smoking or drinking with my 16 year old make me a bad parent? I think the opposite, but I'm not really a "normal" guy. I felt parents should teach responsible use of most everything consumable, money, food, recreational things etc, the age when that occurs should be defendant upon the maturity level of that individual, not some random number dictated by a group of law makers. My strongest warning other than the legal part was operating a vehicle ... DO NOT drive under the influence. She has always, except one time, headed my warning, since I was open enough as a parent to not make her hide her various entries in adulthood.
Anyway, she had never smoked really top shelf Cannabis, and 2-3 pulls and 15 minutes later she was near paranoid freaking out high. She stuck to me like glue for the next 2 hours, until after the fireworks show was over. It gave her whole new perspective and appreciation for knowing limits while imbibing, and it felt great to guide my teenage offspring into responsible recreational use of Cannabis. We did at a later time talk in depth about all recreational chemicals, and that Cannabis isn't the same as the majority of other substances used by her peers and available to her, like ADD drugs, X, etc. Later than fall, she drank her first wine with her friends, came home all loud and obnoxious, and then gut heaved hugging the toilet for over an hour. I don't think she has drank alcohol a dozen times in the ensuing 20 years.
I love my baby girl, OK, she's 35 years old now with 3 babies and a husband (whom I love like a son, a great guy), but she'll always be MY baby!
Your family is not really that different Sue, it's just that most parents I've known want to hide their socially or legally "unapproved" events from their peers, more about social judgement than anything else. I never wanted to be a hypocritical parent, it's a fine line to walk when you are their true role model.
Peace
Keith
PS: You can tell I don't have a grow ongoing huh? Posting like Sue ... OK, that's not even possible!