"Chat with strangers?"
That set me to thinking. My daughter tells me she has in internal "script" for any possible social interaction, and when she's forced to speak to someone in public she sorts through the list, pulls out the appropriate script and proceeds to follow the plan. She has great detail in these scripts, and often time runs out on one and she's forced to scramble for another, until she's out of options and has to find a courteous way out of the conversation that's taking too much effort to maintain.
I wasn't aware of this practice until last month. For all the talking we do, this is one she never shared with me. It's one of the many ways she covered this over so effectively until she made her first suicide attempt.
It dangerous to keep it in, but it can be just as dangerous to spend too much time dwelling on what is instead of what will be. It's the "what will be" that we're most interested in attracting into your life.
That is so interesting. I think a lot of times those with anxieties, phobias, depression or other mental illnesses aren't even aware of the coping mechanisms they use to function with them. And even when aware, don't realize it's not the way it's "supposed to be."
Did she mention if she relies on that less now? Or if it's still the way she gets through it?
I look at my partner who has NO fear of meeting people, interviewing, talking in public, giving speeches, doing plays, NONE, and doesn't get nervous in anticipation of those types of things. He doesn't seem to get nervous about anything at all. I want that. I want to live like that.
The more I'm opening up here and you are relating these stories to me, the more i realize I've always been a nervous person - I just didn't let it control me, and I suppressed it for many years, leading to genuinely good times. But it was always there some. Imagine looking forward to these things with excitement? THAT would be great. Wait, that will be great.
I thought it time to mention, I have been off all meds prescribed by my rheumatologist for treating RA, since just prior to July 1,2016 ! Does that mean I am pain free all the time? No, but I am not waking at night with aching pain in my hips and groin or shooting pain in my fingers and hands like I was before, even with methotrexate therapy. 
I am not sure it is all, the cannabis that I smoke or eat, that has improved my condition. But at the least it has not hurt with controlling symptoms either! I think my somewhat increased activity level, less sodas, less salt, and less pharmaceuticals of any kind, has all played a role! 
I have had so much THC in my system at times past, that I was probably overloaded and defeated any benefits from the herb! Once I began to be a bit more measured in my dosing and reduced my intake I began to get results, it seems! 
For quick effects I smoke or vape but seem to get more real health improvement from the Butter that I prefer, taken in small doses once or perhaps twice daily. This even more than the very concentrated oils WE make or get from infirmaries. I sometimes skip a day or a few days taking any cannabis and feel OK . When I begin to get aches and pains I dose up again!. 
No science to relay, just observations! My problems with panic attacks and claustrophobia has improved as well, but anxiety still lingers at times! If I smoke or vape too much nowadays, this can be a bit of a problem and bring me closer to a panic attack than I care to be! For me , It is about balancing my past stoner mentality with a more measured approach to relaxing with cannabis and medicating for pain with it as well!
Danolo, I still tend to smoke too much, at times! Hard to change old habits! Regarding the RA meds, I was having drug reactions to possibly the RA meds and other RX's, including dangerous life threatening behaviors, lethargy, fatigue, and depression! When I stopped all the Meds, I greatly improved in just a couple of weeks. 
I do have some concern about joint damage /deformation that could start up without using RA meds for that as a preventative. My hope is that the Cannabis is protecting me in that way, as well as with the pain! If I find out different I will cross that bridge! 
It is probably wise to watch for signs of progression of the disease manifesting itself with more joint deformation and Getting at least annual checkups with the doctors. It may be necessary or advisable to treat with more than cannabis at some point in the progression of living with the disease! 
If you run across anything on DMARD and MMJ I would love to hear about it!
