I'm not sure what magic you have, but these posts FEEL like a hug. You just make me feel better and you always ease my doubts. I can't thank you enough, truly.
I read this and immediately felt courageous enough called my practitioner to touch base before I went to see him - I wanted to make sure he knew exactly how I'd been feeling this last week taking the cannabis - we'd only chatted before I started again. He really is kind. He reminds me of you.
So, he said that about 1-2% of people have this response; in the last 4 years he has had 2 clients respond this way. I *think* he said (and he said it twice, but I'm not sure I heard right) that it's indicative of severe endocannabinoid deficiencies, which would make sense given my history.
But he said he would have me try straight CBD cannabis oil, no (or virtually no) THC and then slowly over time add more THC. He wanted me to try that in his office so we could talk about how I was feeling when I was feeling it.
He was very kind and at the end of the conversation said he promised he would help me and not to worry.
The two of you are being so kind to me, and I appreciate it. I think I get frustrated when things go exactly the opposite of the way I expect. Like, I have infinite patience when things slooooowly, slowly, slowly get better or even stagnate some, but when they get worse, I just freak.
Also, and I've mentioned before, my fear of new stuff gets in the way. I have a fear of going into the city and meeting a new practitioner. Again, why? Who the heck knows. I let the underlying fears get in the way and cloud everything else. I will probably feel SO MUCH BETTER once this is over, I've met him, we've talked in person, etc.
I feel very fortunate that you and your daughter are sharing your experience with me so that I can use it to get better. It means a lot to me.
I know this will take time, and I have to remind myself of it. AND I need to learn to laugh more. Why does the ability to laugh go so easily with anxiety? I used to laugh all the time - I used to smile all the time. I was such a joker. It's so important. I mean, no matter what happens I should be trying to have a good time. I'm going to work on this