Stanks Go Perpetual In 2018!

[InTheShed]

I do hear what you are saying. I have had these same discussions with countless people Shed. I don't change how I treat Ms Stank because she tells me I am supposed to treat her a certain way. I change how I treat her because I feel its the right way to treat her and its how I would want a man to treat my daughter if I had one, my sister, or how I want my two grand daughters to be treated. Now I can understand how my opinion might change on a matter if I sit down and have an open dialogue with respectful speaking and listening. But I refer back to the above statement.....if something changes its not because I want to make that other person happy for feel better. It changed because something in my moral compass changed. Something changed that led me to believe something else was the right things to do....not to try to make every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sally, Stacy, and Tina happy.

And I ask you this, are you willing to change your moral compass solely because of how I feel about your actions? What happens when you change it and now Ms Stank doesn't like your stance because it makes her feel 'offended' or bad. Are you going to change to keep her from being "offended". And now that you changed for her, what happens to Amy or Sue's opinion.....and what happens if that change then makes me offended? Changing to make people happy or feel good by itself, isn't a valid reason. See this slippery slope that you advocate for?

Don't dismiss my take as a reason not to self evaluate. I am a firm believer in self evaluation. Stuff that is important to me now, wasn't important to me when I was 25. And stuff that was important at 25 doesn't mean shit in many cases to me today! Why....because my moral compass has shifted as I live.

First off, I find it odd that you won't change the way you treat the Ms because she asks you to. The fact that you have to justify that change based on some norm taught to you by your father strikes me bizarre, but that's just me! And I personally don't ever buy the slippery slope argument. It's always used as a rationale to resist change, regardless of how good that change may be. These aren't stances that are changing, nor are they adjustments to your moral compass (since you have goodness in your heart). This is about recognizing that we live in an imperfect society that needs to be brought up to date, and the way to do that is to change our behavior toward others. It's not about what we think or feel, but about what we do.

 

[Van Stank]

Personally, I have come to believe that the greatest unity is the one that supports the greatest diversity....

Hey I whole heartedly admit that I don't necessarily want to hang around with everyone being just like me. Sure I tend to be drawn to certain people who share similar thoughts and beliefs, but they only make up a portion of my 'friends'. I love different people! Some I can only take for a few minutes at a time and others a few hours! I love traveling and meeting new people.

Ms Stank and I talk about this all the time....embracing the differences. Men and women are different.....why is it so wrong to love and embrace those differences instead of seeking out being offended. Why can't women be generally better at certain things than men. And why can't men generally be better at different things. Neither statement precludes the opposite from doing what the other might generally be better at. Differences are ok! Women are far better multi taskers than men I have been around. Cool....multi task away! Men tend to be better at single points of focus. Doesn't mean women can't do one and men the other. Doesn't mean that some of one of the group might actually be better than the other. Thank god women are different than men!

"oh but you said men are generally stronger than women, thats offensive to women". How the hell is the truth offensive. Its how we were made!! Science supports it! Doesn't mean women can't be strong! Doesn't mean some women aren't stronger than men! But it also doesn't dispute the fact on average men are physically stronger. There are 10s of thousands of reasons that men and women are the way the are now......and it doesn't disappear in 60 years because we all want to feel 'equal' or not offended.

 

[InTheShed]

Men and women are different.....why is it so wrong to love and embrace those differences instead of seeking out being offended. Why can't women be generally better at certain things than men. And why can't men generally be better at different things. Neither statement precludes the opposite from doing what the other might generally be better at. Differences are ok! Women are far better multi taskers than men I have been around. Cool....multi task away! Men tend to be better at single points of focus. Doesn't mean women can't do one and men the other. Doesn't mean that some of one of the group might actually be better than the other. Thank god women are different than men!

"oh but you said men are generally stronger than women, thats offensive to women". How the hell is the truth offensive. Its how we were made!! Science supports it! Doesn't mean women can't be strong! Doesn't mean some women aren't stronger than men! But it also doesn't dispute the fact on average men are physically stronger. There are 10s of thousands of reasons that men and women are the way the are now......and it doesn't disappear in 60 years because we all want to feel 'equal' or not offended.

Now you're being disingenuous. Why women (generally) want to be treated differently than they have in the past has nothing to do with anything you just mentioned. I think you know that. Women have been chattel, not been allowed to own property, businesses, vote, etc., having nothing to do with their abilities to multitask or carry limp people down a fire truck ladder. This is about correcting thousands of years of mistreatment that has been ingrained in the way we treat women. Holding doors for women is just the easiest example. Chivalrous? Sure! But also a symbol of women being an underclass for generations.

 

[Van Stank]

First off, I find it odd that you won't change the way you treat the Ms because she asks you to. The fact that you have to justify that change based on some norm taught to you by your father strikes me bizarre, but that's just me! And I personally don't ever buy the slippery slope argument. It's always used as a rationale to resist change, regardless of how good that change may be. These aren't stances that are changing, nor are they adjustments to your moral compass (since you have goodness in your heart). This is about recognizing that we live in an imperfect society that needs to be brought up to date, and the way to do that is to change our behavior toward others. It's not about what we think or feel, but about what we do.

Not once did I mention it being because of my father. And its ok you find it odd....she doesn't. All I said is I was raised to open the door for women and elders. He has no influence over how I treat her now. I want to treat her far better than he treated my mother!

I believe what I said in regards to Ms Stank is that I would change how I treated her based on what I believed to be right or wrong. I saw many things that my father did that I don't care for at all and I vowed to never repeat those. But my point is her simply asking to treat her differently because its what she wants isn't going to happen. It would happen if we discussed what it was that she wanted, and why she wanted it. And if I felt, with an open mind, its the right way to treat her, then sign me up. But if she says "I want you to do this for me" but after i evaluate it and I determine that its not best for us, our family, and our future.....well then it isn't going to happen and she trusts me enough to respect that. I don't make any decisions without considering how it impacts her. So again I defer to my moral compass.

The same thing applies in reverse. I don't expect her to do something I want her to do just because it would make me feel better. I expect her to consider the impact of that as it pertains to us as a unit and make the decision based off her moral compass. When both people have that outlook then its easy to trust that person to make the decision for the right reason and both of us respect that decision.

 

[InTheShed]

Not once did I mention it being because of my father. And its ok you find it odd....she doesn't. All I said is I was raised to open the door for women and elders. He has no influence over how I treat her now. I want to treat her far better than he treated my mother!

I believe what I said in regards to Ms Stank is that I would change how I treated her based on what I believed to be right or wrong. I saw many things that my father did that I don't care for at all and I vowed to never repeat those. But my point is her simply asking to treat her differently because its what she wants isn't going to happen. It would happen if we discussed what it was that she wanted, and why she wanted it. And if I felt, with an open mind, its the right way to treat her, then sign me up. But if she says "I want you to do this for me" but after i evaluate it and I determine that its not best for us, our family, and our future.....well then it isn't going to happen and she trusts me enough to respect that. I don't make any decisions without considering how it impacts her. So again I defer to my moral compass.

The same thing applies in reverse. I don't expect her to do something I want her to do just because it would make me feel better. I expect her to consider the impact of that as it pertains to us as a unit and make the decision based off her moral compass. When both people have that outlook then its easy to trust that person to make the decision for the right reason and both of us respect that decision.

I was going based on your "And I will continue to open the door for them because thats the way I was raised and my old man would smack me to this day if I didn't." And I still find it archaic to say that you won't change how you treat your Ms unless it conforms to whether you think it's the right way to treat her. Not relating to your family, your household, or your future. Just how you treat her. Like I said, that's just me. As long as it works for the two of you!

 

[Van Stank]

Now you're being disingenuous. Why women (generally) want to be treated differently than they have in the past has nothing to do with anything you just mentioned. I think you know that. Women have been chattel, not been allowed to own property, businesses, vote, etc., having nothing to do with their abilities to multitask or carry limp people down a fire truck ladder. This is about correcting thousands of years of mistreatment that has been ingrained in the way we treat women. Holding doors for women is just the easiest example. Chivalrous? Sure! But also a symbol of women being an underclass for generations.

I am not being disingenuous at all. Please clarify how my above comment is disingenuous.

Now let me address a couple points you brought up. Slights that been applied towards women in the past (as well as other groups subgroups, etc) all sucked. They need to be ended. But look back far enough and slights can be found against everyone....whats your point? Is it your thinking that I am supposed to walk around kissing their asses over what happened before I was on this planet? My point on embracing the differences is just that....embracing the natural differences. If you don't like that I do that, well....thats on you. Bringing up shit from 50-500 years ago doesn't change that there is a difference in a lot of areas and I embrace them. I don't want a woman that acts like a man. I want a woman that loves that she is a woman and embraces that she is different from me and vice verse.

Nothing I am saying has even insinuated I was ok with what happened nor am I advocating for continuing it. Not sure what any of that has to do any of my previous post. You have me at a loss. What comment did I make that seems to indicate I am being disingenuous.

 

[MaddHacker]

I sleep very well at night... thanks to my Strawberry Fields and such lol

 

[KingJoe83]

in my opinion, that contradicts what you said above, because that is more or less what van has said... I, personally, wont change to make others happy, this doesnt mean im not open to listening to what is being said and reconsidering my views on things. I dont get offended by others opinions, thats their entitlement as a human being, but i find that many people are incapable of voicing their differing opinions without becoming aggreasive or derogatory towards me for having my own.

I feel like we can’t please everyone and you should be yourself no matter the price

Stay true to yourself in the end we most of us at end of day all we have is ourselves. However we can’t be rude it’s hard to find a balance sometimes .

I personally look at mine and scrogdawg bump into while back. I went back re read my words and he was right I came off kinda pushy and prevoking in words if I remember I was in a bad mood that day and kinda took it out . Kinda dumb as I was set in my way that I probably shouldn’t have went the way or maybe I could have put a little more thought into how I worded my words.

Nonetheless i hoped he was forgiving as about two months prior the man hooked me up quickly with a here butter recipe .

Anyways, I was gretaful this guy took his time to reach out and now I was in position of making 420 enemies ? Wtf no not happening I pm him saying i was truly sorry .

I think that is damn brave and moral here is sometimes soem of us myself a lot my bad again @Scrogdawg we moved on and meh .

We need to try to in moments and we are all not Perfect I don’t care who you are me far from it. It’s the stories we choose to surround ourselves with . However the stories we choose not to pat take in doesn’t mean anything rude it just means we feel more comfortable maybe in others worlds then some .

So I say let’s all stop whipping it out and seeing whose is bigger and better and let’s try to help each other so we can all share the plant. It’s not a secret anymore like it used to be so let’s see what millions of brains and ideas can do to new methods try different things mayeb it doesn’t go well at least you can say I been there . Not hmm maybe .

420 can make you such a better grower and person I truly believe it o have seen it form loyal men and some amazing strong woman here on 420 man.

Group hug in he shower everyone lol

Just playing let’s all take a time to grab our go to devices or weapons of choice and light up and laugh a little more

 

[Pennywise]

I agree with you but no hugs in the shower! Lol

 

[InTheShed]

I am not being disingenuous at all. Please clarify how my above comment is disingenuous.
Now let me address a couple points you brought up. Slights that been applied towards women in the past (as well as other groups subgroups, etc) all sucked. They need to be ended. But look back far enough and slights can be found against everyone....whats your point? Is it your thinking that I am supposed to walk around kissing their asses over what happened before I was on this planet? My point on embracing the differences is just that....embracing the natural differences. If you don't like that I do that, well....thats on you. Bringing up shit from 50-500 years ago doesn't change that there is a difference in a lot of areas and I embrace them. I don't want a woman that acts like a man. I want a woman that loves that she is a woman and embraces that she is different from me and vice verse.
Nothing I am saying has even insinuated I was ok with what happened nor am I advocating for continuing it. Not sure what any of that has to do any of my previous post. You have me at a loss. What comment did I make that seems to indicate I am being disingenuous.

I think it's disingenuous to act like this discussion is about the physical differences between men and women, or whether women multitask better than men, or whether women are supposed to act like men. That's irrelevant to what I'm talking about, and has nothing to do with whether or not something you do might be taken as an offense. I'm taking about treating women as equals - of equal value - which is something our ancestors and most likely parents (depending on your age) didn't do. And it's not about kissing anyone's ass, it's about acknowledging that much of our "potentially" offensive behavior toward women, as men, is governed still by the patriarchy of previous generations. And indeed, even the way we think about them. This is learned behavior, and it can and should be unlearned by individuals and therefore society.

So maybe not our generation, but certainly the ones coming after us will be treating women much differently. As soft as some think the next generation may be (and every generation thinks that of the younger one!), they are much more forward looking than we are. Generational surveys confirm that.

And @Kingjoe83, Van and I aren't bumping heads and it's not a pissing contest. We're exploring the differences in our view of the things. I certainly hope that Van doesn't think I'm attacking him personally, just asking about his way of thinking. When we move on from this conversation, we will still be encouraging and helping each other out with growing as we have.

 

[MaddHacker]

 

[KingJoe83]

I agree with you but no hugs in the shower! Lol

Coo man

Wazz good buddy

 

[KingJoe83]

I think it's disingenuous to act like this discussion is about the physical differences between men and women, or whether women multitask better than men, or whether women are supposed to act like men. That's irrelevant to what I'm talking about, and has nothing to do with whether or not something you do might be taken as an offense. I'm taking about treating women as equals - of equal value - which is something our ancestors and most likely parents (depending on your age) didn't do. And it's not about kissing anyone's ass, it's about acknowledging that much of our "potentially" offensive behavior toward women, as men, is governed still by the patriarchy of previous generations. And indeed, even the way we think about them. This is learned behavior, and it can and should be unlearned by individuals and therefore society.

So maybe not our generation, but certainly the ones coming after us will be treating women much differently. As soft as some think the next generation may be (and every generation thinks that of the younger one!), they are much more forward looking than we are. Generational surveys confirm that.

And @Kingjoe83, Van and I aren't bumping heads and it's not a pissing contest. We're exploring the differences in our view of the things. I certainly hope that Van doesn't think I'm attacking him personally, just asking about his way of thinking. When we move on from this conversation, we will still be encouraging and helping each other out with growing as we have.

Then okay okay my bad bro

So kiss and hug then big kids .

No I see what your saying shed . Both sides have strong facts very analytical. I kinda am ol school in a way mayeb time of era I was born who the f knows . Lol early 80s baby here learning from the older who have earned thier time . I just under do myself with confidence sometimes but I got a great review from a man on here who is loved and cherished by many today pm saying nice head high on band strong forehead effect . That make my day . We all have the ability to change it s a choice we have to be confident with and a commitment we have to make . It might be scary or we just can’t see it but if we can say own thing we dont Agree on is going to impact everything we have shared it ain’t worth it we all know we rather be accepted cherished and loved then abuse used and sewaged .

Shit I talk to much lol

 

[Van Stank]

I was going based on your "And I will continue to open the door for them because thats the way I was raised and my old man would smack me to this day if I didn't." And I still find it archaic to say that you won't change how you treat your Ms unless it conforms to whether you think it's the right way to treat her. Not relating to your family, your household, or your future. Just how you treat her. Like I said, that's just me. As long as it works for the two of you!

Ok, so you find it archaic. No worries. I think you are having difficulties processing my thought process. For some reason I think the comment that I am not going change unless its the right way to treat her, comes across as I dismiss her feelings. That couldn't be further from the truth. I listen to what she says.....I look in the mirror like my reference to my old Master Guns, and ask myself is this true? If it is, and I agree with her then I am open to is long as it doesn't negatively effect us. (negatively affect meaning something like "I want to go on a vacation to hawaii" and I consider everything that our family unit is going through and I determine that it would negatively impact us to go to hawaii at this time, well then the answer is going to be "NO"......for now. That doesnt' mean I won't start saving up for it so we can go when it won't be a burden.)

 

[bobrown14]

Why can't women be generally better at certain things than men. .

Stank News Flash:
Women are smarter .. and better at everything! Just sayin..

I almost said "except wood chopping." But women are experts with wood.

So that said, go give Ms Stank a hug a kiss and a thank for being your rock!

Rocks
wood
soil
weed.

I must have missed all the convo but ^^^ true.

 

[Van Stank]

I feel like we can’t please everyone and you should be yourself no matter the price

Stay true to yourself in the end we most of us at end of day all we have is ourselves. However we can’t be rude it’s hard to find a balance sometimes .

I personally look at mine and scrogdawg bump into while back. I went back re read my words and he was right I came off kinda pushy and prevoking in words if I remember I was in a bad mood that day and kinda took it out . Kinda dumb as I was set in my way that I probably shouldn’t have went the way or maybe I could have put a little more thought into how I worded my words.

Nonetheless i hoped he was forgiving as about two months prior the man hooked me up quickly with a here butter recipe .

Anyways, I was gretaful this guy took his time to reach out and now I was in position of making 420 enemies ? Wtf no not happening I pm him saying i was truly sorry .

I think that is damn brave and moral here is sometimes soem of us myself a lot my bad again @Scrogdawg we moved on and meh .

We need to try to in moments and we are all not Perfect I don’t care who you are me far from it. It’s the stories we choose to surround ourselves with . However the stories we choose not to pat take in doesn’t mean anything rude it just means we feel more comfortable maybe in others worlds then some .

So I say let’s all stop whipping it out and seeing whose is bigger and better and let’s try to help each other so we can all share the plant. It’s not a secret anymore like it used to be so let’s see what millions of brains and ideas can do to new methods try different things mayeb it doesn’t go well at least you can say I been there . Not hmm maybe .

420 can make you such a better grower and person I truly believe it o have seen it form loyal men and some amazing strong woman here on 420 man.

Group hug in he shower everyone lol

Just playing let’s all take a time to grab our go to devices or weapons of choice and light up and laugh a little more

See thats honesty right there Joe. You looked in the mirror and you accepted you were wrong. Not a lot of people are ok doing that. It can be a painful endeavor to accept fault in ourselves. One of the first things I learned as a young guy in the Marines was "know yourself and seek self improvement". Its a great thing to do and to continue to do.

And despite what any number of people reading this exchange between Shed and myself might believe, I love these discussions and dialogues. Today world, too many people read this and think "Oh no, I can't deal with this arguing, must run away". Hopefully some day Shed and I will be able to sit down and enjoy a toke or a coke and laugh about our differences.

 

[MaddHacker]

 

[InTheShed]

Ok, so you find it archaic. No worries. I think you are having difficulties processing my thought process. For some reason I think the comment that I am not going change unless its the right way to treat her, comes across as I dismiss her feelings. That couldn't be further from the truth. I listen to what she says.....I look in the mirror like my reference to my old Master Guns, and ask myself is this true? If it is, and I agree with her then I am open to is long as it doesn't negatively effect us. (negatively affect meaning something like "I want to go on a vacation to hawaii" and I consider everything that our family unit is going through and I determine that it would negatively impact us to go to hawaii at this time, well then the answer is going to be "NO"......for now. That doesnt' mean I won't start saving up for it so we can go when it won't be a burden.)

Maybe I had a different understanding of what you meant by "treated." I didn't realize you were talking about making decisions about vacations! Still, in the end, it seems that you get to be the arbiter of "true." Ms Stank has feelings, you listen, and then decide whether her feelings are true. That's the part I still don't understand. I probably never will!

And despite what any number of people reading this exchange between Shed and myself might believe, I love these discussions and dialogues. Today world, too many people read this and think "Oh no, I can't deal with this arguing, must run away". Hopefully some day Shed and I will be able to sit down and enjoy a toke or a coke and laugh about our differences.

I'm with ya Van! Don't toke or drink Coke, but I'm down for brisket any day of the year

 

[KingJoe83]

Maybe I had a different understanding of what you meant by "treated." I didn't realize you were talking about making decisions about vacations! Still, in the end, it seems that you get to be the arbiter of "true." Ms Stank has feelings, you listen, and then decide whether her feelings are true. That's the part I still don't understand. I probably never will!


I'm with ya Van! Don't toke or drink Coke, but I'm down for brisket any day of the year

What you mean you no tokie tokie ?

Everybody need to be tokie tokie lol

Even @Grandpa Tokin is tokin see bro we all need to be on this next level shit lmao .

Sorry gramps hope things are good bro ? Trying to lighten up the place ya know . speaking of I need to get over to my other grampas thread see how that gent is taking care . Sorry to include you but figure shit you might like coke briskets and tokin too

 

[InTheShed]

What you mean you no tokie tokie ?
Everybody need to be tokie tokie lol

Sorry Joe, I gave it up around the time you were born! I'm growing it for my wife, and topicals for me and a lot of folks I know .