Growing Against Alzheimers - A Purely Organic Experience

dang, girl.....so creative.....you're kicking ass...! Rap on, you rock....

*much love :Love::Namaste:

I am sorry that you must bear the pain of the battles that you must fight.
Know that you are not alone and we can all help each other with the scars
that we all share on some level.

Sometimes I write to help myself too.

Some days I feel haunted. Almost like dreams of another.
Caught in a wave of emotion. Static from the abyss.
Feels like there is something to say. Lost in the mist.
The meaning is unclear. A dream that is fading.
My mood darkens. The anxiety persists.
I can do this all day. You get the jist.

Goodbye dear friend.
Please come back every now and then.
It is so hard to speak when you are gone.
The words go dark. My mind goes numb with fear.
I will know when you are back again.
The words will once more, begin to appear.

I don't know where I go.
I don't know what causes the changes.
I know that I am left in a shell.
To live in my own personal hell.
I'm lost somewhere on these pages.
A ghost, speaking from his cell.

There appears to be no pattern.
It can sometimes be hard to cope.
I emerge from a daze. Lost and conflicted.
But at least then there is hope.
I just waste so much fucking time.
Healing from wounds that are self inflicted.

Though the words this time have brought their darkness.
I can literally feel their cold starkness.
This is not a case of a lost soul swan dive.
For the words are burning so very brightly.
My soul is awake. I feel alive.

Cheers friend.

*Wow, you blew my mind. Extremely inspiring. "A ghost, speaking from his cell." - I gave you snaps for that line. Phew, hauntingly beautiful to me. You touched my soul, just like that. :Namaste:


Again you reward us with a brilliant thoroughly educational update.

And your ladies look absolutely delicious!

Frosted and elegant...im jealous.

Not really jealous. PROUD!

Your opening paragraphs are a mirror of my trials and frustrations.

I cannot tell you what works or didn't.
Beyond medical marijuana's evident healing and therapeutic properties.

Our brains are like fingerprints. Wired to us for eternity.
Every one an individual blueprint of our learning capabilities.

Genetics, Freewill, learned response, and instincts programme the use of our brain.

Short version....
I was borne an exceptional child.
I was neither right handed or left.
Nor ambidextrous.
I didn't crawl...I walked
I didn't babble...I talked
I never cried nor felt pain
I saw the world differently

I was considered "Slow" as a child.
I was bored easily.

I never studied....i read and remembered

I've had an excellent and exciting life!
UNTILL
One day 9 years ago "I knew something was wrong"
No one listened!
All I received was Opinions.....No answers.

2 years later my brain broke. I was a clean slate....no data. Followed by 4 years of living hell.

Than the dreams came! First the childhood memories.....unlocking the data stored on microfiche. Converting it to digital.
My brain is firing different. New pathways, direction change, reroute....awakening!

I don't Fear, Hope or Pray......

I know I have this beat....and TIME I have.

G2HM, you are where I was....
I am where you will be....

This is NOT a death sentence.
We all heal in unique ways.

Some better than others..you are in the "some better" category.

I came to the 420 community for something else.....and found you!

This journal is perfect....It is your journey.

Now that all knows a little about me.
My presence as a friend is to Aspire you!

I HUG YOU TO LIVE!

*I felt like you put a big warm blanket around me. Your words just reassured my heart. I'm just wow'd beyond beliefs. I just look up to you so much. There is some frequency between our brains. Measured in megaheartz. I can't ever describe the happiness I feel when you relate to me, yet I'm not happy for why, but how can I not celebrate the cerebral connections. Just plowing through a snow storm knowing summer is just around the corner. I'm gonna save your words too. Gonna wear them like a badge. Thank you soooo much. :Namaste:


Funny my heart actually fluttered.
Thinking i lost yet another day!!!!!

*oopsie, that happens too often doesn't it. I hear yah on that front. I'm printing out big page calendars now just so I don't lose my therapy schedule. I might get a horse one this year. I need to "pony" up the cash though. tehehe gniiite
 
Thanks G2HM. I am glad you liked that.
I have trouble reading that one. So close to home.

This one was written during a pretty bad swing a while ago.
I have trouble looking at it too.

The silent cries of a ghost.
Waves of pain from across the sea.
Sometimes my thoughts are clear.
And I can almost hear.
The echoes of me.

A million pin pricks in my mind.
The storm that normally assails.
Quiets to a pleasant shower.
I can hear the soft wails.
The echoes of me.

Most of the time I am adrift.
A zombie that barely sees.
Nothing left of the gift.
Just the ghostly whispers.
The echoes of me.

The words play in my soul.
I try to write what I see.
The dark days take their toll.
Sometimes it helps to remember.
The echoes of me.
 
*I take great stock in your words, while I just sit here blindly. I pray that you are right. That I am that person you describe. I just wish for so much. Times being tough, I always have to ask if I'm doing okay. How can I improve or make things better. Kindly, thank you so much. I'm scared as heck, but I never give up. BIG HUG:hugs:

Check my signature line for the quote by Bob Proctor, " If I set a goal and it doesn't excite me and terrify me at the same time, I'm doing something wrong." Expansion means you'll always be reaching beyond your comfort zone, fulling trusting that the cosmic companions that surround you have your best interests in mind. You move by inspiration with faith.

I liken it to jumping out of a plane. :laughtwo: Tell me that thought hadn't ever crossed your mind. Never wanted to step out into the emptiness and trust the parachute? We do that in smaller steps every day. When you can learn to embrace the start of each new day with the curious joy of a small child you're on your way to greatness.

Every day is filled with exciting potential and opportunity. So often we stumble into our days, grasping for caffeine to help us stay awake, when the secret is a simple greeting of each dawn with excitement and wonder. The universe responds every time by bringing you more things to delight you. Like attracts like. Start off in joy mode and see what delights the universe will surprise you with.

Look what they brought you too, after the doctors tried to convince you that your brain would be Swiss cheese by now. Surprise, surprise. :rofl:

I've learned to feel inspiration from a distance, and to move on it without question. I've always been the vulnerable sort, fearlessly jumping in with both feet. Look at the way my life glistens. That's the result of living deliberately, choosing thoughts that empower over thoughts that beat up on myself. Beating up on yourself sends the wrong message to the ECS.

You don't have to find the solutions to frustrating moments, you simply need to train yourself to choose a happier-feeling thought. If you can do so consistently the universe will sort out the frustrating things and offer inspiration to the solutions you seek.

It's very subtle work that I've been exploring for about a year now. Powerful, almost magical in effect, when you begin to learn to manipulate energy to your greatest benefit. It starts with creating a softer dialogue with yourself that more consistently reflects unconditional loving.

I keep harping on this with you because you're hard on yourself, and I understand what that verbal chastising can do to the healing force you're cultivating. So I'm always reaching for gentle ways to help you be more deliberate, to get to the point where you find yourself thinking one of those limiting thoughts and stop yourself before it fully materializes.

"No! I refuse to think this thought anymore. I'll choose to think about horses instead." Keep doing that, and you'll find that the frustrating moments begin to dwindle. It's a natural progression.

Have you gone back and read some of your earlier posts and compared them to your current postings? I really like your chances girl. :cheesygrinsmiley:


Edit: I stopped to leave a simple hello. See what you inspire in me? You're one of my muses, obviously. And then I was standing next to Ditch, who inspired my Joy thread. :circle-of-love:
 
Happy Sunday G2HM :circle-of-love: hope today is yet another example of your strength.

Nothing but love :Love:
 
Boggled brain or not, your contributions to these forums never cease to amaze me. Your writing, your caring, your ability to pass on the knowledge you have and to incorporate the knowledge you gain...all great indications of the pathways rewiring themselves!
:blushsmile:

*THank you so much. I'm relieved that you can see, because I believe in YOU and your words, very reassuring. Big hug ITS

Always a pleasure to read through here. You bring so much love to this place. Thank you! Seriously!

*I love that you are here GrandpaT, I'm always up for a good laugh with yah. Thank you, for sooo much.

Check my signature line for the quote by Bob Proctor, " If I set a goal and it doesn't excite me and terrify me at the same time, I'm doing something wrong." Expansion means you'll always be reaching beyond your comfort zone, fulling trusting that the cosmic companions that surround you have your best interests in mind. You move by inspiration with faith.

I liken it to jumping out of a plane. :laughtwo: Tell me that thought hadn't ever crossed your mind. Never wanted to step out into the emptiness and trust the parachute? We do that in smaller steps every day. When you can learn to embrace the start of each new day with the curious joy of a small child you're on your way to greatness.

Every day is filled with exciting potential and opportunity. So often we stumble into our days, grasping for caffeine to help us stay awake, when the secret is a simple greeting of each dawn with excitement and wonder. The universe responds every time by bringing you more things to delight you. Like attracts like. Start off in joy mode and see what delights the universe will surprise you with.

Look what they brought you too, after the doctors tried to convince you that your brain would be Swiss cheese by now. Surprise, surprise. :rofl:

I've learned to feel inspiration from a distance, and to move on it without question. I've always been the vulnerable sort, fearlessly jumping in with both feet. Look at the way my life glistens. That's the result of living deliberately, choosing thoughts that empower over thoughts that beat up on myself. Beating up on yourself sends the wrong message to the ECS.

You don't have to find the solutions to frustrating moments, you simply need to train yourself to choose a happier-feeling thought. If you can do so consistently the universe will sort out the frustrating things and offer inspiration to the solutions you seek.

It's very subtle work that I've been exploring for about a year now. Powerful, almost magical in effect, when you begin to learn to manipulate energy to your greatest benefit. It starts with creating a softer dialogue with yourself that more consistently reflects unconditional loving.

I keep harping on this with you because you're hard on yourself, and I understand what that verbal chastising can do to the healing force you're cultivating. So I'm always reaching for gentle ways to help you be more deliberate, to get to the point where you find yourself thinking one of those limiting thoughts and stop yourself before it fully materializes.

"No! I refuse to think this thought anymore. I'll choose to think about horses instead." Keep doing that, and you'll find that the frustrating moments begin to dwindle. It's a natural progression.

Have you gone back and read some of your earlier posts and compared them to your current postings? I really like your chances girl. :cheesygrinsmiley:


Edit: I stopped to leave a simple hello. See what you inspire in me? You're one of my muses, obviously. And then I was standing next to Ditch, who inspired my Joy thread. :circle-of-love:

:adore::grinjoint::Namaste::thanks: Horses not negative forces...I get it. I want to write back in long form to your response, but instead, I'll continue on with my writing of the other things we are talking about. Thank you SweetSue, you were the first to reassure me my instincts about Cannabis were right. I haven't gone back to my first postings, yet, I plan to. I am still writing my book. So I'm gonna go back through all my journals and read them so I can choose which ones go into my book. It's gonna be weird to see how far I've come, but I will capture this experience in my book. I'm already at 54 very long but addicting to read pages. I can't seem to stop writing. It just pours out. Talk very soon:high-five::thanks:

Goood morning G2 just popping in to let you know that all future pics in both journals will have the pink drained from them. Cheers and happy growing!

*REPS for accommodating my disabilities. Wow, you did a tremendous job removing the pink, I'm back on board. That was very kind of you to do such a thing to have me around. Speaks Volumes.

------------------

Have a great SUNday Brainiacs, even though it's cloudy here, there is nothing but overachievement in the air.
Don't forget to smell Ditchweed's roses. They are beautiful! His frost, does not get lost, with me.
Much Love G
 
Goodnight you beautiful soul :circle-of-love:

May you dream so peacefully,
rest beautifully and heal;
for tomorrow, what awaits you
is a life of dreams made real:Love:
 
I brought a flower. A very healing flower. :Love:

DSC_041226.JPG
 
Goodnight you beautiful soul :circle-of-love:

May you dream so peacefully,
rest beautifully and heal;
for tomorrow, what awaits you
is a life of dreams made real:Love:

*Awwwww shucks, that's why I slept in today. I had such a good sleep. It's been while since I have felt a whole nights sleep. Your words are lovely. :Love:

I brought a flower. A very healing flower. :Love:

DSC_041226.JPG

*BLUE DREAM BABAY! Soooo beautiful Jim! Gosh she is such a looker.

Good Monday to you, sis! I hope today is full of love, peace and joy. Lord knows... You deserve all of what is good in this world and Beyond! Hoping and praying for Clear thoughts and no headaches. :circle-of-love:

*Well I woke up with a headache but I can still muster enough thought to tell you how much I love reading your messages. Thank you Grandpa. :circle-of-love:
 
Should have thrown the portirat pic in too for good measure! I gotta get me that coffee mug


Hey Lady! That's what you go by right? I noticed pat used to always call you that then I realized others did also haha! (Miss pats halariousness around here )

Hope your week is off to a great start! Say hi to the horsies for me . Wishing you and your plants all the love possible!!!

 
Hey Brainiacs, how are you today my fellow cultivators?

Yesterday I flipped my CBDream Fem Photo to 12/12 (finally) and she completely lost her skirt but still has her top on. Sounds like a party night to me. hahahaha You have to party while you're young so when you bloom you're ready to show your flowers as a Lady.

Defoliated & Flipped to 12/12 - last night

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Defoliated & Flipped to 12/12 - this morning

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Before - Full Skirt Action

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After - No Skirt Action

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Beautiful up close colour

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She's waving to everyone, she made it through the night now she just wants to flower and share her medicinal qualities.


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Going to visit your journals now! Have a very lush green day!
 
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