Grow To Heal Me - Perpetual Journal - Lady Growing Ladies - Never Giving Up

Hi :hug:

Your ladies look absolutely gorgeous :) GOOD JOB!!!!! :bravo: You will have a smashing harvest soon:cheer:
It is a blessing to have a husband sharing your joy and supporting you :circle-of-love:
Never mind that you can't tell the doctors.

My heart broke into a million pieces when reading about your parents doing this to you.
Forgiveness for such a thing must be closer to impossible but for your life journey it is needed.
Don't mistake to forgive with to forget.

I can show you with my example ( I am not comparing you with me.)
When I was 14 I was raped.. it took me 10 years to deal with it and forgive the guy. I haven't forgotten but the act doesn't hold me back anymore and it has become a "lesson" to be taught to my children...other children. Made me a better parent.

What you went through no one should go through. I wish I was there then to take you in and show you what it should have been like growing up as a child :circle-of-love:
 
Hey GTHM, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and it's a shame that you cannot let the doctor know about your progress, I'm sending positive vibes your way and hoping that you can prove that diagnosis wrong. It seems that we must have been brought up in similar situations and I'm happy to hear that the state didn't fail you, although I'm unhappy to hear that people have to go through that sort of suffering as children. My parent was never convicted of anything, even after stabbing me a couple of times, it still causes me problems now (PTSD) but I too find relief and solace in my garden and the medicine it produces.

As for the girls they're looking beautiful and those buds should fatten up the most in the last couple of weeks of growth. Be sure to pm a link to your new journal after your rebuild, but in the meantime let's enjoy the twilight hours of your grow and the reward of your oncoming harvests. You have done really well in the face of adversity and you should be very proud, I'm proud of you from this side of the screen and I'm happy that I have been privileged enough to have been able to share your journey. You are an inspiration to all, may your buds be forever bountiful :thumb:

I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now Kriaze!!! No child or youth should ever suffer through ultimate betrayals at the hands of our parents. But we did, some get convicted like in my case, but it took 2 years to convict them and I almost think the court process was worse than the acts of severe abuse. The things I heard in court as a youngin' about my parents and me, I can't ever unhear them. It was like reliving the abuse over and over again because the courts embarrassed me over and over again. There was noone representing my future or tender spirit. I became a pon in their chess game of revenge and even the lawyers were so harsh with me. I even spent my birthday in the halls of court, sitting on the bench just watching my feet barely touch the ground, waiting to testify. They robbed me of any remaining dignity and innocense that may had survived. I have worked very hard to bounce back from that. Not to say you didn't deserve your conviction, you abSOULutely deserve it my friend. Again, there is a grass greener situation we are in again my friend. You and I almost have that revelation every time, don't we.

What is important is that we have love for ourselves and we survived those tough times long enough to find the 420 commUNITY where we are safe to be who we truly are. I often think about writing a book about my youth but I would much rather grow...lol. Let's move on as friends and healthy people, as we grow the best harvests we can, because we are alive!

Your message was so caring, thank you sooooo much for hanging out with me. Have a wonderful day my friend...live long and harvest!
:thanks:
 
Hi :hug:

Your ladies look absolutely gorgeous :) GOOD JOB!!!!! :bravo: You will have a smashing harvest soon:cheer:
It is a blessing to have a husband sharing your joy and supporting you :circle-of-love:
Never mind that you can't tell the doctors.

My heart broke into a million pieces when reading about your parents doing this to you.
Forgiveness for such a thing must be closer to impossible but for your life journey it is needed.
Don't mistake to forgive with to forget.

I can show you with my example ( I am not comparing you with me.)
When I was 14 I was raped.. it took me 10 years to deal with it and forgive the guy. I haven't forgotten but the act doesn't hold me back anymore and it has become a "lesson" to be taught to my children...other children. Made me a better parent.

What you went through no one should go through. I wish I was there then to take you in and show you what it should have been like growing up as a child :circle-of-love:

Thank you kindly for your loving response and sharing your story. I'm glad you came back from it and have excelled as a good MOMS. I have been mentoring youth for over 20 years because of it. So I am investing into other children and making their lives better than mine. I haven't done much mentoring lately, but I will always stay in touch with a couple youth who have outstanding potential. I know it helped me to know that someone cares out there. So it's all good. :Namaste:
 
Be still my heart...
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I've been looking at these pics on an iPad using the 420 app. Pic resolution is as incredible as the plants themselves. Deluxe


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I'll have a hefty library of stunning photos to browse during my downtime. It's like seeing a great movie that inspires you for days. I am trying to figure out a master grow schedule for PK's in hopes to reach this full maturity every time. I have made enough mistakes to have a foundation now...lol. My weekly hug to you...
:thanks:
 
What's Update — Organic Plant & Personal Growth Progress — Mon Sept 12, 2016

Brain injury Behaviour: One more Neurologist submitted her report and she says that I DO NOT have dementia or FTD because I scored higher on my second test. There is an improvement, although minor, in the tests I did in her office. She said my CT Scan & MRI are clear so that is another indicator that my brain structure is healthy and in tact. Now that all the specialists have sent in their reports, it is up to the expert who I will be seeing in Nov, to decide the fate of my brain. But in the meantime, I'm improving still in my eyes. There is still progress to be had. I'm the happiest I've been in years and I'm still a positive contributing member to the modern world. I also paid the bills and rent this month, not bad for non-working wife. Felt good!

Brain/Grow Rehabilitation Behaviour: It's all about success here. My harvest = the ability to learn something new, follow formulas & processes, and grow my own medicine. I am planning on making a list of all the improvements in details. You know how much I love making lists about lists. ;)

What am I grateful for? "The ability to follow through with my dreams"

Quote of the week: "Togetherness, unity, even peace"

My humble garden of positive change awaits you...

I have decided to order these plants from left to right as shown in the group photos.


1. Type: Afghan Kush Clone (Remaining Grow #4)

Week: 20

Days: 112 — (59 days flower)

Name: Clonepatra - (This grow is dedicated to Growlow — Thank you for teaching me)

Technique: Clone, FIM & LST

Growth Comments: She is still packing some weight on increasing her bud size every chance she gets. Her trichomes are still clear because she's not done blooming yet. I can see the potential in cloning for health nuts like me. ;) She is taking ½ feedings every 3 days and her green leaves love the directness of the heat.

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2. Type: CB Dream (Grow #3)

Week: 22

Days: 162 days - (50 days flower)

Name: (This grow is dedicated to SNID — Thank you for lighting up my life)

Technique: FIM/Scrog/LST

Growth Comments: By far the hungriest strain I have grown. There is no second-guessing what this plant needs. Every two days she wants 1.5 litre feeding which is 50% more than I usually give her. I had to increase the quantity to adequately fulfil her blooming needs. So there she is happy to gulp that down like a night at the pub and call it an evening.

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3. Type: Purple Kush

Week: 22

Days: 162 days - (50 days flower)

Name: (This grow is dedicated to SNID — Thank you for lighting up my life)

Technique: FIM/Scrog

Growth Comments: This mature PK is really teasing me. I swear she could almost be done. Then poof the next day she has pistols reaching for the sky. I know it's truly the amber trich's I am seeking. She is a bandit of my heart and is my greatest reward to date. She will keep me waiting because of her incandescent shades of natural beauty are too beautiful to rush. I am going to sneak a couple extra photos of her in this journal entry so I can finish with a smash. She is glimmering at every chance she gets. She is really only taking feedings twice a week, but her PK scent she deploys when I show my enamoured face, is intoxicating.

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Type: Purple Kush (Remaining Grow #5)

Week: 19

Days: 118 — (50 days flower)

Name: Valerie (This grow is dedicated to SNID — Thank you for teaching your techniques)

Technique: FIM & LST

Growth Comments: She is not really growing the way I would expect her to grow. She only gets about 1 full feeding a week. But as long as she asks for it, I'll keep her growing hoping that at the last minute she pops into a bouquet of flowers, fit for a lady, a 420 lady that is.

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Ladies of the Night Group Photo

Left — Afghan Kush (Clone LST)
Left — Centre — CBD (LST)
Right - Centre — Purple Kush (LST)
Right - Purple Kush (Scrog)

* I wish everyone the best harvests and grow friends a garden can unite. Or a great big fat bud to smoke on a tough day, it's all good in the growing hood
:thanks:

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Hi there,
Hope you and the girls are well and as healthy as can be. Iv just sat and read all your posts on this link and thought I can't just click back without dropping a little comment :) . I just thought your story and how you are living now is very inspiring my friend and I thankyou for putting it out there, must not be easy. I was honistly humbled reading your story. I am also so very glad that you have seen improvement, and have had good results back! Girls are looking great BTW nearly didn't even comment on them then lol. I wish you all the best in the future.
Peace Love and Respect.
Triggz.

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I went away on a dream come true trip. And just feel so rejuvenated. The kindness made me feel like a Goddess and Survivor. But none of that means anything when I got my PK in the closet for two days. Yay! surprise! She is getting ready for harvesting soon. I'm still so tired so this is my tiny update of super awesome news. ;) I wish everyone so much love and happiness. Feels so good to be me again...sooo much fun!
I wish I could feel like this forever! ;)

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