StoneyMemoirs
Well-Known Member
I'm having a rough time guys. I'm being slammed by emotional distress and now my stomach is cramping and I'm getting nauseous. I started crying in the middle of a conversation with my daughter and haven't been able to stop the tears.
I'll be honest. I don't know if I can make it through this time. I'm gonna go to bed and see how I feel tomorrow. My daughter's been advising me to stop this process and take a hit already. She can understand my intent but this is more than I was prepared to take.
I wasn't expecting the blues to hit so hard. It's evident that cannabis has been managing my SAD in ways I wasn't aware of.
I don't want to stop yet, which is why I'm going to bed. I'll see what the morning brings.
GT, I'm glad you decided to try it. Up front, this isn't for the faint of heart.
I did realize that I haven't been drinking enough water today, so I've increased consumption. I was doing really well until an hour ago.
Sue,
I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read this--I'm so, so sorry I didn't see this sooner.
It didn't hit me that hard yesterday--but it certainly hit me. I don't really drink anymore, but 'coming down' was getting tough last night--After a lot of deliberation, I took a walk to the local liquor store, bought a heavy-hitting 6 pack, and downed three of em. The buzz/drunk helped distract me, but I still couldn't eat.
I was able to force down two ravioli's off my dinner plate, totaling less than 300 food-based calories in the last 24 hours. I'm sure the beer packed in enough to keep afloat.
Not feeling great, the lady was nice enough to suggest we take a late-night walk outside. We did, then came home....still jittery, did some yoga, tried to calm the mind. Anxiety was high--not panic-attack or fetal position unbearable--but HIGH, so I took a shower and focused on breathing.
Loads of HOT water on my head and neck, lots of deep breaths in, long breaths out. Must have been in there 20 minutes.
Then I laid in bed, thoughts about work, family, life, the mortgage, income, our electricity bills, you name it-- ablaze for an hour+ before I finally left consciousness.
Today is day two for me. I know it'll be harder--but I also know, that ALREADY, my tolerance has likely dropped precipitously. The full benefits are out there, just 4 days away. I want to see if I can get there, and I'm super grateful to have this support group.
Let's keep the chatter up, it just might help