SweetSue's Cannabis Oil Study Hall

[SL2222]

Oh, my. I'm gone for one day and I have pages to catch up on!!! I read a bit, but I'l go back and read more.

First, thank you to everyone who is sharing and contributing to help me out. You guys truly make me feel loved, supported and HEARD. THANK YOU

Second, I connected with my practitioner over the phone. I am going to make time after the holidays to get to his office where he is going to help me fine tune, and supply me with several samples. That should help a lot.

In the meantime, he really wants me to continue with what I have, but at the tiniest dose humanly possible so that it feels comfortable for me. He, like you, Susan, believes I shouldn't start and stop. However, I'm entirely unsure I can make a dose small enough to be comfortable. The drops I was getting down the last couple of days were TINY. But I will see.

I will also see about taking it right before bed, so if I do feel funky, hopefully I can sleep it off, even though this stuff seems to stay in my system for 24 hours. Which would be a good thing if I felt awesome.

I will say, though, that since I stopped taking it on Saturday, I have slept like a rock AND had some great exercise sessions, but there could be other reasons. Not sure. As usual

So all advice for getting the teensiest, tiniest drop possible, I'll take it.



However, this leads me to questions I have before I start again.....

So, in reading here more and more, and hearing more and more of all of your personal experiences while taking cannabis, I'm a little concerned about how I may do on this overall. My background is this: being hyper aware of my bodily state is what started my anxiety and panic to begin with. Even now, funny feelings in my body is what makes me terrified, anxious and panic. One head spin, and I'm having panic attacks. A heart palpitation, pains, etc. My mom and my aunt are the same. Their panic attacks started with fears of an illness - and being hyper aware of feelings. This started for me when I had mono, and then had doctors who made me think every little thing I experienced was going to kill me (I realized, too late, that these university doctors were receiving kickbacks for referrals, so they insisted I was dying of something every week to refer me to specialists). Of course, I think it must be somewhat ingrained for it to have become a problem.

It seems that a lot of you end up with this hyper awareness while on cannabis, and that you love it. It feels fun and interesting. Hearing personal stories from people in personal life, this hyper awareness is common for them, too. My partner, for example, never touched weed again after hating the feeling of being hyper aware of his entire body.

This is exactly what I'm trying escape. I mean, this awareness can be a great thing in navigating, healing, and getting better, becoming better at Callanetics ::, etc, and even fine tuning a formulation. But I obviously have issues with it, and it scares the living daylights out of me. If it weren't for this hyper awareness and fear surrounding it, I wonder if I'd even have anxiety at all. I'd still be a nervous, high strung version of a person, but I'm not sure about the extent of the panic.

So, any thoughts on this? Is this only the case when "high"? Would this be mitigated through different formulas?


This leads me to my next one...

Healing timeframe. This might just be me needing to change my perspective on it. When I first contacted Susan, my intention was to use cannabis as an occasional "band-aid". The long-term healing wasn't even on my mind, as I didn't understand it fully. Nor did I really think about my own issue as a healing. I guess I'd been thinking of it as something that simply was, would always be, and I just need a band aid.

My actual question is whether I'd need to stay on cannabis every day forever. The only reason I ask this is, I don't feel terrible all the time. As a matter of fact, sometimes I feel amazing. And sometimes I truly don't want to change that feeling with any substance at all. I know that this long-term anxiety HAS affected my day-to-day, so I get the idea that I truly do need a deep healing. I feel intimidated by the idea of being on this my whole life. But can one come off of cannabis safely and healthfully eventually? I am starting to understand the need to stay on this while healing, not to go on and off and shock the system.

Am I actually making sense?

As I mentioned before, it is on my mind currently because of travel. Before anxiety, I LOVED traveling, and I AM going to reclaim that part of my life And won't be comfortable doing that while being on something not legal.

Part of this concern is simply part of my personality - I hate the idea of being dependent on any one thing. Also curiosity - does a full healing become possible where the cannabis is no longer required all the time?


Thanks again, everyone

 

[Dave Groomer]

Oh, my. I'm gone for one day and I have pages to catch up on!!! I read a bit, but I'l go back and read more.

First, thank you to everyone who is sharing and contributing to help me out. You guys truly make me feel loved, supported and HEARD. THANK YOU

Second, I connected with my practitioner over the phone. I am going to make time after the holidays to get to his office where he is going to help me fine tune, and supply me with several samples. That should help a lot.

In the meantime, he really wants me to continue with what I have, but at the tiniest dose humanly possible so that it feels comfortable for me. He, like you, Susan, believes I shouldn't start and stop. However, I'm entirely unsure I can make a dose small enough to be comfortable. The drops I was getting down the last couple of days were TINY. But I will see.

I will also see about taking it right before bed, so if I do feel funky, hopefully I can sleep it off, even though this stuff seems to stay in my system for 24 hours. Which would be a good thing if I felt awesome.

I will say, though, that since I stopped taking it on Saturday, I have slept like a rock AND had some great exercise sessions, but there could be other reasons. Not sure. As usual

So all advice for getting the teensiest, tiniest drop possible, I'll take it.



However, this leads me to questions I have before I start again.....

So, in reading here more and more, and hearing more and more of all of your personal experiences while taking cannabis, I'm a little concerned about how I may do on this overall. My background is this: being hyper aware of my bodily state is what started my anxiety and panic to begin with. Even now, funny feelings in my body is what makes me terrified, anxious and panic. One head spin, and I'm having panic attacks. A heart palpitation, pains, etc. My mom and my aunt are the same. Their panic attacks started with fears of an illness - and being hyper aware of feelings. This started for me when I had mono, and then had doctors who made me think every little thing I experienced was going to kill me (I realized, too late, that these university doctors were receiving kickbacks for referrals, so they insisted I was dying of something every week to refer me to specialists). Of course, I think it must be somewhat ingrained for it to have become a problem.

It seems that a lot of you end up with this hyper awareness while on cannabis, and that you love it. It feels fun and interesting. Hearing personal stories from people in personal life, this hyper awareness is common for them, too. My partner, for example, never touched weed again after hating the feeling of being hyper aware of his entire body.

This is exactly what I'm trying escape. I mean, this awareness can be a great thing in navigating, healing, and getting better, becoming better at Callanetics ::, etc, and even fine tuning a formulation. But I obviously have issues with it, and it scares the living daylights out of me. If it weren't for this hyper awareness and fear surrounding it, I wonder if I'd even have anxiety at all. I'd still be a nervous, high strung version of a person, but I'm not sure about the extent of the panic.

So, any thoughts on this? Is this only the case when "high"? Would this be mitigated through different formulas?


This leads me to my next one...

Healing timeframe. This might just be me needing to change my perspective on it. When I first contacted Susan, my intention was to use cannabis as an occasional "band-aid". The long-term healing wasn't even on my mind, as I didn't understand it fully. Nor did I really think about my own issue as a healing. I guess I'd been thinking of it as something that simply was, would always be, and I just need a band aid.

My actual question is whether I'd need to stay on cannabis every day forever. The only reason I ask this is, I don't feel terrible all the time. As a matter of fact, sometimes I feel amazing. And sometimes I truly don't want to change that feeling with any substance at all. I know that this long-term anxiety HAS affected my day-to-day, so I get the idea that I truly do need a deep healing. I feel intimidated by the idea of being on this my whole life. But can one come off of cannabis safely and healthfully eventually? I am starting to understand the need to stay on this while healing, not to go on and off and shock the system.

Am I actually making sense?

As I mentioned before, it is on my mind currently because of travel. Before anxiety, I LOVED traveling, and I AM going to reclaim that part of my life And won't be comfortable doing that while being on something not legal.

Part of this concern is simply part of my personality - I hate the idea of being dependent on any one thing. Also curiosity - does a full healing become possible where the cannabis is no longer required all the time?


Thanks again, everyone

I am thinking that if you wanted to cut your dose, combine what you have with another carrier oil (Flax seed, olive oil etc). 1 drop of your oil added to 2 drops of carrier oil would make each drop 1/3 the dose.

 

[SL2222]

I am thinking that if you wanted to cut your dose, combine what you have with another carrier oil (Flax seed, olive oil etc). 1 drop of your oil added to 2 drops of carrier oil would make each drop 1/3 the dose.

Oh my god. Such a simple solution. While extremely grateful, this kind of made me feel dumb.

 

[SL2222]

You nailed it Tim. Go with your feelings. Feel bad? Stop and find a way to feel better. Just a little relief. People get all caught up in having to heal, when all your body's asking for is a little breathing time when you're not so damned determined to make things happen, so it can calmly and peacefully repair the damage to your strained systems.

Such wisdom in this. One therapist I was required to see, when my anxiety first happened, said that I tend to have the personality that just wants to get the job done - fix "the problem" - and move on. Which is true. I still wanted to pummel her when she said that to me, but I get it.

I'm also slowly learning that I just need to "be" and accept what is. Accepting what is is very hard. And because I'm so fixated on "fixing the problem" I don't think I ever quite get to that quiet breathing time that would allow my body to heal.

 

[SL2222]

Speaking of getting out into nature to help with anxiety. I've gotta admit that hiking became my lifeline last fall when I was off work. I told people that hiking was my meditation. There's a bench at the top of one of the hills that looks out over the lake and I would get to the top of that hill and lean against the bench (because it's too tall to sit on comfortably), shut my eyes and take deep breaths and I was totally at peace. I highly recommend finding your own happy spot.

BEAUTIFUL!!! My dream is to wake up every morning and be able to make a glorious cup of coffee and walk around outside on a beautiful path and just be and enjoy. Play on the trees and stumps and rocks. I love that.

AND I need to get over my fear of being alone in nature. My family never let me, because they were terrified. Of everything. And now I've adopted that fear. No bueno.

I grew up in the desert - where I could see for miles and miles and miles (literally) all around me, so I wasn't afraid. I LOVED going out running in the dessert hills. I'd stop on the hilltops and look out for miles. Natural meditation. Now I live in super dense, large trees, and between that and the gunshots going off every few minutes (again, literally) I hide too much . The vegetation IS gorgeous. I love it. Just need to get comfortable in it.

 

[SweetSue]

Sue what temperature were you at for this 90minute cook?

245 degrees F. It doesn't appear to make sense, but it's a consistent effect now, three days in a row.

 

[SweetSue]

I want to live there! Wherever it is

It's so delightful to read your posts Sara.

You don't need cannabis to heal, in a very technical sense. Cannabis is a match to what your body creates on its own. Right now your ECS can't keep up, and cannabis is helping. Since you're designed to heal as a natural circumstance, you should anticipate that cannabinoid therapy is simply a stopgap, reserve soldiers if you will. As they assist your ECS the assumption should be you'll be able to taper off cannabis and leave the work to a stronger ECS.

You and your caregiver will find your sweet spot, and he'll maintain your meds to meet your specific needs. This is what he does, and from what you've shared he takes his job seriously.

At some point you'll start feeling less anxious. That will improve and suddenly you'll find yourself able to increase activity outside the home, get back to nature. The exercise and the communing with nature also assist the strengthening of the ECS. You begin to make wiser food choices, drink more water. Again, strengthening the ECS.

With every small change comes great benefit. Small changes become big change when factored together. One step at a time Sara. That's how you're going to overcome the fear and become the shining woman you are. We see that woman clearly. Ahhh..... 2017 will be an interesting year for you.

 

[Oldbear]

It's so delightful to read your posts Sara.

You don't need cannabis to heal, in a very technical sense. Cannabis is a match to what your body creates on its own. Right now your ECS can't keep up, and cannabis is helping. Since you're designed to heal as a natural circumstance, you should anticipate that cannabinoid therapy is simply a stopgap, reserve soldiers if you will. As they assist your ECS the assumption should be you'll be able to taper off cannabis and leave the work to a stronger ECS.

You and your caregiver will find your sweet spot, and he'll maintain your meds to meet your specific needs. This is what he does, and from what you've shared he takes his job seriously.

At some point you'll start feeling less anxious. That will improve and suddenly you'll find yourself able to increase activity outside the home, get back to nature. The exercise and the communing with nature also assist the strengthening of the ECS. You begin to make wiser food choices, drink more water. Again, strengthening the ECS.

With every small change comes great benefit. Small changes become big change when factored together. One step at a time Sara. That's how you're going to overcome the fear and become the shining woman you are. We see that woman clearly. Ahhh..... 2017 will be an interesting year for you.

Truer words never spoken.

 

[Oldbear]

I am thinking that if you wanted to cut your dose, combine what you have with another carrier oil (Flax seed, olive oil etc). 1 drop of your oil added to 2 drops of carrier oil would make each drop 1/3 the dose.

Great suggestions. I can vouch for this "Best practice". I have been diluting solutions using the same as what the tincture is made with. Olive, grape seed, sunflower coconut are very common. Doing it per dose, or adjusting a small qty work equally well for me.

I bought some "shatter" which I believe is dried concentrated cannabis oil. Didn't realize it was more for smoking. So I melted it in 20ml of coconut oil and use it as a tincture. Good save there.

So I convinced myself: You can't make a mistake. If you need more dilution later, add it. If it's too weak, take more drops or add a bit more concentrated oil.

I have one other split a drop method. I'll drop it on a small spoon. Dab my finger in it and rub that on my gums.
It gives me roughly one third to one half a drop per dab. I leave it on the spoon for later.

Using these methods together everyone can first figure out then manufacture your ideal mix consistently.

 

[KingstonRabbi]

KR, part of my mystery is why it didn't give the bud a couch-lock effect. That was what one would expect, no? That's not what happened this year, and it's not what happened with a different strain last year. This bud I'm ingesting and smoking now is like a shot of speed. Without the nasty yucky feeling speed leaves in its wake. I just had a 24-hour buzz of high quality on half a brownie. It stunned me. Right now, on half a brownie, my entire body is buzzing. This is incredible.

I'm hoping it gets duplicated and someone gets intrigued enough to get some tested. Testing may not answer it. That's always a possibility.


Edit: I just remembered I had a small joint tonight too. I forgot all about that, since it's such a new behavior. Still, higher than I've ever been, and fully functional. Speedy, as a matter of fact. Sweating.

Challenge accepted!
I'll report my initial research results this weekend.
Lab analysis will have to wait.

 

[SweetSue]

Challenge accepted!
I'll report my initial research results this weekend.
Lab analysis will have to wait.

supergroomer shared this information on my grow journal this morning. I believe it explains what's going on. KR, switch to 230 degrees F for 110 minutes.

I was just doing a little goggling (if that's a word). I came across an article from a couple years ago in another magazine that said Holland researchers found that decarbing for 110 minutes at 230 degrees was the best. I have never done it that long, but I think I will try it on the next batch of oil.

Nice to know I wasn't imagining this incredible high. And wasn't it nice to learn this right before the holidays? Kinda like a cosmic holiday gift.

 

[SweetSue]

Rifleman has duplicated my results. Someone else please make the effort and try yourself.

Either 245 F for 90 minutes, which is what Rifleman and I used, or 230 degrees F for 110 minutes. I'm going to try the Dutch formula and see if it makes any difference to me.

HemiSync did a batch as well, and although he didn't discern any increase in euphoria he did note increased relaxation and said he "slept like a baby." This suggests it's doing the same for him, just different genetics, different effect.

Isn't science fun?

 

[Oldbear]

Oh my god. Such a simple solution. While extremely grateful, this kind of made me feel dumb.

Oh don't feel dumb. The realization that I could (and needed to) manipulate CCO to be any concentration I wanted came slowly but still hit with a pleasant : hey wait a minute I canndo this . Holy hell moment: Working with oils like well it is baking techniques. Weights and measures, solids liquids., different things to add in and mix up. Making the cco is baking. Managing dose levels is writing, using, modifying a recipe. The recipe for me to try and fix the body I worked at trashing for 60+ Years.

Baking anyone?

 

[SweetSue]

Oh don't feel dumb. The realization that I could (and needed to) manipulate CCO to be any concentration I wanted came slowly but still hit with a pleasant : hey wait a minute I canndo this . Holy hell moment: Working with oils like well it is baking techniques. Weights and measures, solids liquids., different things to add in and mix up. Making the cco is baking. Managing dose levels is writing, using, modifying a recipe. The recipe for me to try and fix the body I worked at trashing for 60+ Years.

Baking anyone?

I just finished roasting some buds. Does that count? Downed a small bud in the interest of science that's beginning to give me the most delightful body rushes.

Sara, I'm really enjoying the hell out of this buzz, and I'm thinking the entire time about what it is about this feeling that might be unpleasant for you. Mara Gordon was addressing this topic in the class I watched tonight on using cannabis to treat cancer. My daughter has the same problem, and she was commenting that she wishes she could sit down and catch a good buzz. She's watched her father and I smoke for her entire life, so she's aware of the beneficial effects of THC.

I can sense though how the feeling of being out of control that Rifleman and I apparently revel in and actively seek out would be terrifying to someone with anxiety issues.

So here's the way it works Sara. You start out on a very low dose. Don't feel any effects? Increase the dose s-l-o-w-l-y until you do feel something. Stay at that dose until this new feeling doesn't bother you. Increase again until you feel "different." Stay there for a few days, until this feels manageable to you.

Continue like this until you reach a point where you can't adjust what you're feeling to something you can be comfortable with. Back off your dose just a little bit. How does that feel? If you're comfortable you just found your optimal therapeutic dose, that point where it doesn't bother you. Now you know what your personal dose limit is and you can begin adding in as needed until you're at the daily dose your caregiver, your doctor and you are comfortable with. In your case it's probably not going to be as high as you may think. Most of us over medicate.

 

[Arctic Bowl]

Hello Sue we finally have our new iPad and can type now lol. Just stopping by to see our Guardian Angle

Blessed Buds our friend and be well

 

[CajunCelt]

Hey Sue & study hall attendees.
I don't alot of time to get on here, & my favorite folks drop in here....

I'm just saying high.
Balanced good health & a peaceful joyful heart to all of y'all & the loved ones close to ya. It's a good time of year, but my Celtic side has weird feelings about this time of year.

Man, I'm freaking pretty busy with this clinic stuff. I actually puked twice. I was assured it was lunch, but I was nervous.
Anyway, this threads going great Ms. Susan. I know your happy with it.
I'm pretty proud this entire subject arose from where it first began. This is pretty serious knowledge being tossed around & handled seriously.
Good on ya...

 

[SweetSue]

Hey Sue & study hall attendees.
I don't alot of time to get on here, & my favorite folks drop in here....

I'm just saying high.
Balanced good health & a peaceful joyful heart to all of y'all & the loved ones close to ya. It's a good time of year, but my Celtic side has weird feelings about this time of year.

Man, I'm freaking pretty busy with this clinic stuff. I actually puked twice. I was assured it was lunch, but I was nervous.
Anyway, this threads going great Ms. Susan. I know your happy with it.
I'm pretty proud this entire subject arose from where it first began. This is pretty serious knowledge being tossed around & handled seriously.
Good on ya...

Thank you Cajun. Gosh.... I blushed. Lol!

You're on all our minds mon ami. Keep breathing. It's really gonna happen. In a year you're gonna laugh at all this madness.

Best of holidays to you.

 

[SweetSue]

Hello Sue we finally have our new iPad and can type now lol. Just stopping by to see our Guardian Angle

Blessed Buds our friend and be well

Soooo happy to hear that! I'd be totally lost..... What a sweet ending to a delightful day.

Enjoy.

 

[SL2222]

It's so delightful to read your posts Sara.

You don't need cannabis to heal, in a very technical sense. Cannabis is a match to what your body creates on its own. Right now your ECS can't keep up, and cannabis is helping. Since you're designed to heal as a natural circumstance, you should anticipate that cannabinoid therapy is simply a stopgap, reserve soldiers if you will. As they assist your ECS the assumption should be you'll be able to taper off cannabis and leave the work to a stronger ECS.

You and your caregiver will find your sweet spot, and he'll maintain your meds to meet your specific needs. This is what he does, and from what you've shared he takes his job seriously.

At some point you'll start feeling less anxious. That will improve and suddenly you'll find yourself able to increase activity outside the home, get back to nature. The exercise and the communing with nature also assist the strengthening of the ECS. You begin to make wiser food choices, drink more water. Again, strengthening the ECS.

With every small change comes great benefit. Small changes become big change when factored together. One step at a time Sara. That's how you're going to overcome the fear and become the shining woman you are. We see that woman clearly. Ahhh..... 2017 will be an interesting year for you.

Thank you SO MUCH. So much.

Another symptom of my anxiety - I go back and forth between what I want to do. One day I'm determined to make this work for me, and I'll figure it out no matter what. The next day I'm scared to death of those feelings again, start to worry about making this work long term, worry about the outcome, etc., etc. It's craziness. I mean, I put off committing to see this guy for... how long? Two months? And then one day decided it was going to happen and called and emailed and messaged until I got a hold of him... because in that moment, it was the way it had to be. I'm so weird.

I have now gone almost one week without the cannabis, which is not what I intended. I intended to get started on a super, super low dose (since you guys explained to me HOW TO DO IT ), but I've been driving back and forth working for my parents. That out of control feeling couldn't happen. So, this weekend, I'm going to make the lowest dose I can manage and start at night only. Then work from there. I've come to peace with the fact that I can make the dose so low I might not feel much of anything, but I'm starting to get the benefits. And then commit to not stop and start anymore. This stuff stays in my system so long, so I definitely don't want to end up with too much. I mean, I felt my last dose (the smallest one I'd had up to that point) for over 30 hours.

I ordered a sample size of another recommended hemp oil. Just couldn't help myself. It is mostly raw extracted, as well, no added terpenes to aid in absorbability, as I suspect that I'm sensitive to the synthetic additives, as is the case with every supplement I've ever used. I saw on the forum that tons of people use both hemp and cannabis - for the same reason - they need the therapeutic cannabis but can't take enough to get all the benefits they want. Or use cannabis at night and hemp during the day, etc. So at least I know there isn't a problem with both.

That said, I don't have the intention to even try the new hemp yet, but I'll have a bottle on hand, just in case. What can I say? It was an impulse buy, even though I had absolutely no plan.

 

[SL2222]

I just finished roasting some buds. Does that count? Downed a small bud in the interest of science that's beginning to give me the most delightful body rushes.

Sara, I'm really enjoying the hell out of this buzz, and I'm thinking the entire time about what it is about this feeling that might be unpleasant for you. Mara Gordon was addressing this topic in the class I watched tonight on using cannabis to treat cancer. My daughter has the same problem, and she was commenting that she wishes she could sit down and catch a good buzz. She's watched her father and I smoke for her entire life, so she's aware of the beneficial effects of THC.

I can sense though how the feeling of being out of control that Rifleman and I apparently revel in and actively seek out would be terrifying to someone with anxiety issues.

So here's the way it works Sara. You start out on a very low dose. Don't feel any effects? Increase the dose s-l-o-w-l-y until you do feel something. Stay at that dose until this new feeling doesn't bother you. Increase again until you feel "different." Stay there for a few days, until this feels manageable to you.

Continue like this until you reach a point where you can't adjust what you're feeling to something you can be comfortable with. Back off your dose just a little bit. How does that feel? If you're comfortable you just found your optimal therapeutic dose, that point where it doesn't bother you. Now you know what your personal dose limit is and you can begin adding in as needed until you're at the daily dose your caregiver, your doctor and you are comfortable with. In your case it's probably not going to be as high as you may think. Most of us over medicate.

I'm so appreciative that you take the time to think through all of this. It has taken up to now, reading your posts and then actually taking the cannabis to realize that what I feel may not be too different from what you feel, but we experience it sooooooo uniquely.

Yes, I think you're totally right. I HATE that feeling of being out of control. I think having anxiety alone means that I'm out of control of my body's response to life and circumstances, and I feel like I'm just going along for an unpleasant, unholy, terrifying ride most days as it is. All I want to is to calmly be in control of my body for once.

I've said the same thing as your daughter so many times - in relation to alcohol, cannabis, any of it. I WISH, desperately, that i could just sit and enjoy what seems to bring everyone else joy and calm, and which, instead, makes me sick and miserable. I think my partner desperately wishes I could, too. I mean, how exhausting is it to deal with somebody who constantly feels like they're dying from... something? It's not fun. I know that it saps energy from others. And I try hard to hide it when I'm experiencing it, but then people around me just think I'm angry and stand-offish, when really I'm just trying to not melt down in front of them

One insight I have is that I am happiest and calmest, and most normal, when I'm moving around a lot. Either doing heavy work outside, hiking, or exercising. That is my happy place. My body calms down and resets. I simply don't do it enough, but I have no valid reasons, just excuses. A few weeks ago, I started bringing small weights and kettle bells outside and simply walking around with them, playing, stopping and jumping over branches, stepping on stumps, etc., etc. I'm lucky enough right now to have the property to do that, even if I'm surrounded by gunfire all the time. It helps. It seems like I was meant to live in a world where i had to work physically to get by, but my entire existence is so sedentary. Which makes me fortunate, but I have to figure out how to make that work for me.

I have a lot of sympathy for your daughter. It seems we have struggled similarly, though perhaps she has had more to deal with. She's lucky to have you, that's for sure.