Man, really sorry about your grandson. Thankfully I've thought a lot about death as a part of life for a long time, and I think it's really helping me be and feel calm, 99% of the time. The toughest thing is deciding what your natural/experimental medicine vs. Scalpels, Radiation and Chemo poison, ratio is gonna be. Like, do I do ALL the things, or do some hurt the effectiveness of the others? Because the socialized system hasn't taken on Canna yet, and will take a generation (at the earliest) to get there, so there's only reading between the lines available as a means to figure it out. As it happens reading between the lines is my superpower, but it doesn't make it any more enjoyable, esp. given the non-hypothetical nature. It may be an exercise, but it ain't no drill.
I am not pre-occupied with croaking or not croaking. I am pre-occupied with suffering and not suffering, and also not causing my family undue hardship. I have no issue causing my loved ones hardship more generally, I've been doing it 50 years now! But when it comes to lasting hardship, that is just not cool. I've been walking around in rags for years now so I could pay off my mortgage in this lifetime and I'm only a year away. I wont suffer the thought of gambling on some big trip somewhere to see a cancer shaman, all financed by a reverse mortgage or loan. Passing on this resource to my child is a major life goal and will be very important for her life.
I would gratefully receive the Everclear Gee, for my RSO. But I'd love to be able to send you the 100$ worth of Australian charcoal (usually used in DIY smell filters or to recharge old filters.) that I've kept, in unopened original packing, for a year. I'll DM you my deets, feel free to do same.