Well here it goes, the definitive first-harvest report from
HYENA'S GROW HOUSE!
The grueling road trip dragged on for what seemed four weeks, even though it was really four days. The unimaginable toil of hand-finishing and hanging 12 plants damn near killed me.
First things first...the quality of this crop must be discussed.
Here's a few final portraits of my varieties in the Phase One room.
Two different Big Bud phenos:
Super Bud:
The White Widow is the nuggiest of all but not that photogenic so here's a group photo:
The first tree I cut was one of the 4 distinct Big Bud phenos, a rather tall one with super chunkiness. Looking at the pile of branches it is a lot, but not a ten foot pile or anything, I thought to myself...I'll probably do this in about an hour...
As I trimmed I was so happy with the general frostiness and especially stickiness of these buds...
But after two hours I realized I was at best only halfway through the pile. I'm stoned and dragging ass being overly detailed I figured, I can pick up the pace. Settling into the environment and finding the most comfortable way to do it, that makes the first one take longer. No sweat.
But it just went on and on.
At last, after 4 1/2 hours, I was finished...with exactly ONE plant. And not even one of the biggest ones. I was determined to get faster.
The next plant, ready to start...again.
So it went. I wasn't there for a vacation so I stayed at it hour after hour. Then day after day.
Looking at where a plant was hacked, then looking at the daunting mass that still remained, well, I didn't really know how I felt. Elated at the volume...and truly intimidated by the task of taking so much weed down at once.
I finished number 6 of 12 about midday Friday. I honestly had planned to be leaving by then. Wrong. After the halfway point, I was operating in a kind of zombie-like haze. Not marijuana smoking-related...marijuana trimming related. I trimmed for over 12 solid hours Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I listened to so many hours of local talk radio I now know more about Detroit than most people who live there and I swear I could tell you every detail of every issue that damn city has. My hands and arms and back eventually became so sore they went almost numb.
I took about a 10-minute break every 2 hours to regain feeling...and to sample some of the sticky produce I had cut and hung last week.
The news: The shit is good. Really good. 
That's a huge relief since I have never grown Super Bud or Big Bud before, or even smoked them that I for sure know of, and I was a little afraid I might be growing average weed. No way. The Super Bud provides an amazing high, very energizing and cerebral. Body stone is rock solid but not de-motivational, ditto for the Big Bud variant I tried. There were four different phenos out of four Big Bud plants so I haven't tasted the other three but number one gets you really, really high.
So that pleasure every few hours kind of balanced the pain of endless gripping, ripping, and snipping.
Along the way...
One girl peeking out, maybe hoping I was gone and she'd be safe...no luck Honey.
I almost had to pull a gun to get these guys down...like a gang. The Bud Gang.
Then, deep within one Big Bud plant (the most productive and fruitiest of the 4) I saw this!
One tiny place where some bananas had formed! They didn't look mature enough to have released any pollen but as Jeff Goldblum's character in Jurassic Park famously said, "Life finds a way." So now I was on the lookout for any random seeds! And yes, my experienced little fingers detected about 20 total on an adjacent Super Bud plant...jackpot!!! Funny how they formed in tiny popcorn buds, way way down low in the darkness under the plant, only one per tiny bud, and all fat, juicy, perfect feminized seeds! What a great bonus to get another couple crops worth of a new hybrid, and the seeds for free! It was a moment of joy among hours and hours of painful drudgery.
Another VERY strange anomaly was this single low-down branch on that same Big Bud plant that had the hermie. This branch was not just diploid or triploid...it was infiniploid!
The stalk was like hollow celery:
Lots of tiny random branching everywhere...
And yes...this plant had a pussy. An actual pussy.
How else would one describe it? She needs a razor but wow, I have never seen anything like this. I scared me a little and I was careful cutting it down in case it bit me. I've been hurt by strange pussy in the past (and who hasn't).
The hours, and days, dragged on in a haze of flying canna-bits.
Before:
Five or six minutes later...
Time drained into eternity. At times I didn't know if I was cutting endless weed, or having a nightmare about cutting endless weed. But it added up, hanger after hanger.
I also gradually filled my nifty round multi-level small bud and shake dryer...it smells sooooo good!
At 11:00 pm late Saturday night, it was finished. Here is the final result of my first run at the Grow Haus:
If you can't believe your eyes, well...join the club. Because I simply can't believe it myself! Almost 40 hangers, each holding up to 20 trimmed branches, it's like like a library of weed! I stood there sweaty, tired...and amazed. Only now did it really hit me how well this whole thing actually went. And why it took 35 hours to trim up. And why a hot shower and going to bed felt soooo good...
Sunday morning dawned with a beautiful sight...
Yes, the Phase One tent looked like a terrorist attack had taken place. I stood there not even knowing where to begin.
First, the scrog assembly stood in the way of any cleanup. But I think of everything (eventually) and I anticipated this which is why I built the frames from light but strong PVC. The whole thing simply raises up to the ceiling, out of the way. Didn't see that coming, did ya? Yes I'm pretty clever.
Once the scrog was raised the real chop began. With main stems nearly an inch thick and a tremendous amount of branches I worked up quite a sweat hacking each remaining plant into 6-inch pieces and cleaning up the mess.
I worked for hours until the biomass was relegated to twelve stumps, still in their buckets.
Then I attacked the problem of re-using the Hydroton as I originally planned. But when I took the first plant remnant out of its bucket, the entire thing was a gigantic root ball! As solid as a rock, really. Impossible to recondition the bags or the Hydroton or anything, really. I screwed with the filthy mess of one of those for about an hour before it dawned on me to get on Google. Turns out those bags are under 2 bucks apiece. and 200 liters of fresh Hydroton costs less than $80. I happily loaded each finished bag from its bucket into its own heavy garbage bag to be dropped at the dump. Done!
In the end, there was 15 or so bags of trim, scrap, and remnants from everything. Jeezus.
But after four hours the entire tent was just as it began, sparkling clean and ready for the next run!
And frankly, just in time, as here is what Run #3 looked like when I got home to the lab...
Not only that but don't forget Phase 2 is looming, only about 5-6 weeks from doing all this over again!
Yikes! This might kill me. I might die...of happiness!!
But the ultimate and most important question still remains...HOW MUCH will we end up with? THAT answer we will know in about a week. I plan to go back up Thursday and see how dry things are getting.
Dreams. They DO come true! Now to rest.
Briefly...
Peace, Hyena
So raw and cool.
