Omg I’m finally feeling back to banging. My cough is almost gone and all. I took the weekend off with sick leave coz fuck em! Lol!
Hey I got a funny family secret to share, carcass’s pig rock made me think of it. And it will be in the post for you next week C Oink. You too
@stinker! ShiityArsed Craft will be coming in hawt! But back to my story.
Short story: my son broke his willy on his first wank
Long story: so when my son was around 13 he convinced me he was old enough to stay home alone while I went to work. I was cleaning houses at the time and I used to make him come with me. I was working close to home with a few houses in that area to clean, so I agreed. He promised to stay home and call me if there was trouble.
So about 4 hours in my son rings hysterical “come home mum. Please come home”. I finally got him to calm down and explain what was wrong and he tearfully told me his penis had a “big lump” on the side of it. Worried I said I’d be straight home, as luck would have it the daughter of the old couple I was cleaning for was visiting and she was an RN, so I asked her about it like possibilities of it being tumour. She said, she felt sure he was okay, and she also felt sure it was an over zealous masturbation incident, coz at 13 the toy would be fairly new to him.
So I raced home, and I said to my son that I needed to ask him some questions that might embarrass him, but I needed the truth. He promised to tell the truth. I said it would probably be easier if we stood back to back so we didn’t have to look at each other. He agreed.
Me: were you playing with it prior to the lump?
My son: *sob* yes
Me: do you think you might have hurt it?
My son: *sob* yes
Me: Is it bleeding?
My son: no
Me: does it look better?
My son: *sob* I think so
Me: do you need the doctor?
My son: no
Me: can I see if it’s okay
My son:*hysterical again* NOOOOO!
So I ring my GP and talk to the nurse and she said that she felt sure he’d be okay and to get some cold water on it. But if it wasn’t improving to bring him in. Over the next hour it shrank back. So I left my son (which was risk in itself lol) and went to the shops for groceries. I saw a coffee mug, and I bought it for him to cheer him up.
Me: I thought this would cheer you up. I saw it and it made me think of your broken doodle.
My son: *lolling in horror* omg mum!
Well from that day on, pig became our thing. Like our funny awkward secret. When ever he signs off in messages I always get a
and if there is a pig figurine he always buys it for me.
So the reason I share, my son saw the pig rock I made for carcass and requested his own pig rock lol. I big smiled the whole time I was making it. Xo
Hey and how’s this for being a super loser. My man and I are having a Snuts Concert at home tonight. I’m gonna get dressed up in my sparkle pants and everything! And I’m gonna get zooted! I’m making street food for dinner to keep it authentic. And I’ve even made a chocolate cheesecake! I’m actually living for it. Lol!
And this dog is legit one foot from me at all times. That’s him in his dog bed watching me create Tra’s ShittyArsed Craft The Painted Edition.
And just to stay on topic. My Misty is a beauty
She’s throwing all sorts of I’m cold colours.
I’ll see you tomorrow for our Sunday Summary. Have a good one. Xo
x
