Trala’s Tent

Trala, I am so sorry about Billy. I'm tearing up and squeezing my old dog... He shares Billy's passion in life of doing sweet f*** all.
RIP Billy Brownlow, thank you for all the laughs. :love:

Trala said:
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Looks at those button eyes (•◡•). What a sweet boy. He looks so well-loved.:love:

Big hugs, Tra.:hugs:
 
Thank you guys ♥️♥️♥️

I promise I’m not gonna be dead dog obsessed but I just want to share a struggle I’ve had.

At 0230 yesterday morning I wanted to donate Billy’s body to science, but my partner said no. And he seldom says no to me, and it was a firm no. I opted then to have Billy cremated but didn’t want to have his ashes returned. No disrespect to those who cherish ashes, but for me it’s dust, that blows away in the wind. I don’t want his dust. I want him.

By yesterday afternoon I realised I’d made a huge mistake, I rang the emergency centre we took him to, but half way through the conversation and picking up on a too late vibe from the vet, I once again decided to end the conversation with not following up, but worry was niggling me. I mean I have his collar and vests and lead. But nothing to keep with me.

Today I spotted this, and I knew it would be a better fit for me as opposed to ashes. It is precious and signifies Billy. Funny party as a kid I always wanted a signet ring, and now as an adult I have one.

My beloved B Forever missed by me Xoxoxo

I am not going to torture myself over those fucking ashes. Well I hope I won’t. I’ve told my brain when my thoughts sneak to self loathing “why didn’t you get his ashes?”, I will look at this ring and remember it is what signifies my love, my loss and the choice I made. Fingers crossed it works lollingg.

#trama4lyf.
 
Trala said:
Thank you guys ♥️♥️♥️

I promise I’m not gonna be dead dog obsessed but I just want to share a struggle I’ve had.

At 0230 yesterday morning I wanted to donate Billy’s body to science, but my partner said no. And he seldom says no to me, and it was a firm no. I opted then to have Billy cremated but didn’t want to have his ashes returned. No disrespect to those who cherish ashes, but for me it’s dust, that blows away in the wind. I don’t want his dust. I want him.

By yesterday afternoon I realised I’d made a huge mistake, I rang the emergency centre we took him to, but half way through the conversation and picking up on a too late vibe from the vet, I once again decided to end the conversation with not following up, but worry was niggling me. I mean I have his collar and vests and lead. But nothing to keep with me.

Today I spotted this, and I knew it would be a better fit for me as opposed to ashes. It is precious and signifies Billy. Funny party as a kid I always wanted a signet ring, and now as an adult I have one.

My beloved B Forever missed by me Xoxoxo

I am not going to torture myself over those fucking ashes. Well I hope I won’t. I’ve told my brain when my thoughts sneak to self loathing “why didn’t you get his ashes?”, I will look at this ring and remember it is what signifies my love, my loss and the choice I made. Fingers crossed it works lollingg.

#trama4lyf.
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I know how hard it is mum, I don’t talk about it often but we had a puppy she was 9 months old German Shepard crossed with a lab. Our fucking neighbours were trying to get rid of a rat problem and threw rat poison under the fence on accident and she got into it. When I took her to the vet he blamed me for her death within the week she had complete kidney failure. I’ll never go back to that vet and it took me a long time to go back to the house that we are in now. I know you won’t find peace in my story just trying to say your not alone <3
 
TwelveCoffee said:
I know how hard it is mum, I don’t talk about it often but we had a puppy she was 9 months old German Shepard crossed with a lab. Our fucking neighbours were trying to get rid of a rat problem and threw rat poison under the fence on accident and she got into it. When I took her to the vet he blamed me for her death within the week she had complete kidney failure. I’ll never go back to that vet and it took me a long time to go back to the house that we are in now. I know you won’t find peace in my story just trying to say your not alone <3
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Hello buoy :)

What a horrible accident. I’m really sorry :( I am such an animal lover, I should be vegan, and I would be if it wasn’t for fucking bacon!

Omg I have a 10 hour night shift coming in hot. Half hour to go :(

My man is doing a nightshift tonight too, so poor Frank is going to experience his first night truly alone. No doubt with a nice quiet house he will be on his fuck pillow like a fat kid on cake! Lol
 
Trala said:
My heart is broken.

My friend Billy passed away in the early hours of this morning. I loved that little dog so much.

He would look up at me with such adoration like I was the best star in the sky.

I have this on my work computer just to remind me not to be a cunt.

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RIP Billy Brownlow. You were so loved and will be forever missed.
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I’m so sorry Trala, RIP Billy Brownlow! :love:
 
So I did a night shift last night, feeling mentally okay considering. Went for my mental health wellness walk. Got home thought I’ll Carhook Greg a little bit.

Brain: go get your glasses you can’t see
Me: yeah nah I got this.
Brain: well take your AirPods out so you can at least hear
Me: yeah nah I got this.

Omg next minute I’m holding an arm which has been completely torn off. I steady myself. I still have one arm left. I can make one arm work. So my thought process repeats itself:-

Brain: Stop! Go get your glasses you can’t fucking see
Me: yeah nah I got this.
Brain: Stop! Well take your AirPods out so you can at least fucking hear
Me: yeah nah I got this.

Yep, ripped the other arm off! I was so mad I nearly threw Greg in the pool. I’m not sure why coz it’s not Greg’s fault I’m a fucking idiot. I had to cut those two big leaves off. They looked like Dumbo ears, so I sort of semi retopped her. I threw them in the pool in temper lol. I’ve since got up and calmed myself. She still looks okay, well hopefully she will once she grows a bit. She’s a lovely colour.

Trama4lyf

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Trala said:
So I did a night shift last night, feeling mentally okay considering. Went for my mental health wellness walk. Got home thought I’ll Carhook Greg a little bit.

Brain: go get your glasses you can’t see
Me: yeah nah I got this.
Brain: well take your AirPods out so you can at least hear
Me: yeah nah I got this.

Omg next minute I’m holding an arm which has been completely torn off. I steady myself. I still have one arm left. I can make one arm work. So my thought process repeats itself:-

Brain: Stop! Go get your glasses you can’t fucking see
Me: yeah nah I got this.
Brain: Stop! Well take your AirPods out so you can at least fucking hear
Me: yeah nah I got this.

Yep, ripped the other arm off! I was so mad I nearly threw Greg in the pool. I’m not sure why coz it’s not Greg’s fault I’m a fucking idiot. I had to cut those two big leaves off. They looked like Dumbo ears, so I sort of semi retopped her. I threw them in the pool in temper lol. I’ve since got up and calmed myself. She still looks okay, well hopefully she will once she grows a bit. She’s a lovely colour.

Trama4lyf

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Shoulda got the glasses Mum why are women so stubborn *rolls eyes* haha
 
Greg's got more arms... they'll fill in the blanks...not to worry, T- we've all busted an arm off...usually just one though... :cheesygrinsmiley:
 
Carcass said:
Greg's got more arms... they'll fill in the blanks...not to worry, T- we've all busted an arm off...usually just one though... :cheesygrinsmiley:
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Hi C Sculptor :)

Omg I was sooooo dirty at me!

I am so annoying sometimes.
 
I need this sort of desperation and oversight during the grow off.

If its any consolation Ive watched people go full ham sandwich and the girls be just fine afterwards.

This time around its a photo, so you can pick up some during veg, that auto was, well, much more unfortunate.

Time for the little voice to be heard Tra. I know my little voice is just as hard to listen to, so you know, take my advice because Im not currently using it haha.

Might even the clone and Greg out to some parallel time.

You didnt kill Greg. Theres always that. And you veg at levels good enough to compensate.
 
DV8 said:
I need this sort of desperation and oversight during the grow off.

If its any consolation Ive watched people go full ham sandwich and the girls be just fine afterwards.

This time around its a photo, so you can pick up some during veg, that auto was, well, much more unfortunate.

Time for the little voice to be heard Tra. I know my little voice is just as hard to listen to, so you know, take my advice because Im not currently using it haha.

Might even the clone and Greg out to some parallel time.

You didnt kill Greg. Theres always that. And you veg at levels good enough to compensate.
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Omg I’m just so annoying.

It’s the equivalent to deliberately tipping your cup of tea all over the floor then being angry for spilling your tea.

I’ve always done it, and can’t understand why I continue to do it.
 
I'm sure she will be fine.
Is Greg a woman's name? What a time to be alive...
I topped a plant by mistake today, you did it twice...
Thanks, you made me feel better about it. lol :love:
 
I saw Greg flip you the bird when your back was turned one day last weekTra, she deserved it!
 
Yikes T, but Greg does still look beautiful. I know those little voices and the costs of ignoring them. She still looks strong though! I bet you pull of another stunner :)
 
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