Thank you guys
I promise I’m not gonna be dead dog obsessed but I just want to share a struggle I’ve had.
At 0230 yesterday morning I wanted to
donate Billy’s body to science, but my partner said no. And he seldom says no to me, and it was a firm no. I opted then to have Billy cremated but didn’t want to have his ashes returned. No disrespect to those who cherish ashes, but for me it’s dust, that blows away in the wind. I don’t want his dust. I want him.
By yesterday afternoon I realised I’d made a huge mistake, I rang the emergency centre we took him to, but half way through the conversation and picking up on a too late vibe from the vet, I once again decided to end the conversation with not following up, but worry was niggling me. I mean I have his collar and vests and lead. But nothing to keep with me.
Today I spotted this, and I knew it would be a better fit for me as opposed to ashes. It is precious and signifies Billy. Funny party as a kid I always wanted a signet ring, and now as an adult I have one.
My beloved B Forever missed by me Xoxoxo
I am not going to torture myself over those fucking ashes. Well I hope I won’t. I’ve told my brain when my thoughts sneak to self loathing “why didn’t you get his ashes?”, I will look at this ring and remember it is what signifies my love, my loss and the choice I made. Fingers crossed it works lollingg.
#trama4lyf.