The Perpetual Healing Garden - SweetSue's Joyful Return

Oh Sue my heart goes out to you. I really hope this gets taken care of quickly! As we all know you'll come back even stronger.
:circle-of-love::Love::hugs:

I just finished packing away the last of the lights. Everything's all hidden among the rest of my belongings in storage. There's no sign that SweetSue even exists. I'm so broken-hearted, I can't seem to stop crying. It's so rediculous. It's not the end of the world or anything. It's not like I'll vanish or anything. I need to get over it already and get busy with something else.

This seems like a good point to take the course on using cannabis to treat insomnia. My money hits the bank tomorrow. Maybe I'll let something slide and treat myself to the course instead. I haven't done something that irresponsible for a while, but it'll make up for this, so it'd be worth the investment. I'm gonna have to focus on something else real quick here. I'm so lost without the plants it's not funny.

It's so quiet without the fan running. It's only temporary. It's only temporary. It's only temporary.........
 
4:04 AM. Done with crying. What a relief. :laughtwo: I'll finish processing my plant material and then close this journal. I'll still be easy to find. I maintain 7 threads, counting this one.

Not growing means more time to visit. :battingeyelashes: :green_heart:

Starting to feel better about change.
 
:hugs:

Sue, get yourself some tomato and pepper plants to replace your plants with in the meantime. No leftover leaves, or stalks. Leave at least one tent up with lights going for some sort of gardening. That way, your power consumption doesn't drastically change, if they do show up you are just a healthy hippy, and you are still gardening and enjoying that part of life. I had a scare a while back that led me to start a veggie garden as a coverup; best thing to happen to me in years. You will get past this, find ways to enjoy a break.

I've been thinking about this and I believe a good fit for the tiny closet and that lovely Timber Vero 240 that mimics sunlight is a few well chosen culinary herbs. Fits my bohemian aging hippy lifestyle that I'd want a shot of sunshine in the corner of my living room growing herbs as I retrain myself to cook, now that it's just me. I'm challenged with Seasonal Affective Disorder so the sunlight in the corner thing is actually true for me.

Hang some crystals in there with the herbs. Indulge my love of light passing through tiny pieces of colored glass. I won't have any trouble selling what will feel real to me. :battingeyelashes:
 
I have no words Sue. :hugs::hugs:

I'm so sorry to start your day like this my friend.:Love: :hugs: :hugs: :Love:

I'm good. I remembered laughter is followed by joy, which is usually accompanied by practical insight. I'm going to learn all I can about using cannabis to treat insomnia. I could use that information myself, apparently. :laughtwo:

Then I'm gonna learn something else. I just freed up a lot of time and I finally used my MBM2. :laughtwo:

Don't worry about me. I bounce back real quick. :battingeyelashes: You have a wonderful day. Spread some joy while you're at it. :Namaste:
 
I haven't been able to rest my mind since reading about your circumstance. I refuse to feed any negative labels, attachments or perceptions to your circumstance because I'm sure there is plenty of that already. I was only coming back to encourage what you've already stated. Take this time to further your knowledge and understanding. The growing is the bi-product of your enthusiasm for the theory behind not the just the growing.. but also about the plant itself. I'm sure Sweetsue will be back with a vengeance :) Or at least I hope so.
 
Wow, not good! WTF Sue....I just got done reading the last few pages....so sorry for you Sue. It's NOT fair...just not fair. You will come thru the other side just as you did when Dale passed...you emerged stronger with a purpose....you will this time too....you have all it takes to get up and growing again within hours, so cheer up Susan. You've got a load of good people behind you , pulling for you. Try and stay positive ....:hugs:
 

Thank you. :hugs: :Love:

I haven't been able to rest my mind since reading about your circumstance. I refuse to feed any negative labels, attachments or perceptions to your circumstance because I'm sure there is plenty of that already. I was only coming back to encourage what you've already stated. Take this time to further your knowledge and understanding. The growing is the bi-product of your enthusiasm for the theory behind not the just the growing.. but also about the plant itself. I'm sure Sweetsue will be back with a vengeance :) Or at least I hope so.

..... and you...... :hugs: :Love:

Wow, not good! WTF Sue....I just got done reading the last few pages....so sorry for you Sue. It's NOT fair...just not fair. You will come thru the other side just as you did when Dale passed...you emerged stronger with a purpose....you will this time too....you have all it takes to get up and growing again within hours, so cheer up Susan. You've got a load of good people behind you , pulling for you. Try and stay positive ....:hugs:

..... and of course you too Duggan. :hugs: :Love:

I'll be honest. I'm sitting on my bed quietly crying. The thought of walking into the living room was too much for me. I'll be ok though, this is just fatigue born of sleep deprivation. I have some processing to get out of the way before evening and I have no intention of playing a victim card here.

You're right Growlow, the grow is only one component of what I do here. I'm gonna need reminded of that a few times at the beginning here I think. I know I'm strong enough to get through and I know without a doubt I'll come back to growing reinforced and better prepared. This lets me figure out lighting control. I really never got the hang of LED, which has frustrated me all along. I have the opportunity here to study further and come at it better prepared next time.

Growing is such a big part of who I've identified myself as here, and I feel out of balance without that leg supporting me. It's trying to cause an identity crisis, but I'm aware of that and I'll work past that by tonight.

Ready for that shower now. On with the day.
 
OK..... Not as bad as I expected. I'm gonna be ok. I have some magic butter for my scrambled eggs that should prove to be very interesting.

I find myself in the position of having more "medicinal" cannabis on hand than recreational. This suggests I'll be healing more over this period of change. It occurs to me that I should be embracing the opportunity to see what these meds are capable of.

I never got my labs done for my PCP. He requested them in October as a baseline for my yearly visit. I'll have them done now, then again before my visit in October. This should give us some insight into the power of the CBD strains, shouldn't it? See how well my free fall through life often works out? I swear my guardian angel should get a raise.
 
you are a grower always will be just like rambo hes a killing machine always will be !

you cant juat turn it off!

It is a hobby that gets in the blood. Thank you for the reminder photos. :hugs:
 
Having my first go round with canna butter. I purposely didn't have anything else so I could sense this better. I just had scrambled eggs with a fair amount of cannabutter. Mighty tasty stuff, I must say. Better than I'd anticipated, actually. I'm about 30 minutes out now and beginning to really feel it. :battingeyelashes: This'll work just fine. :blunt:
 
You have put into storage one way that people can bring drama into your life.

You have closed a door to more drama.


You have removed from your daily life one more thing that ties you to being inside the apartment. With no pets or plants that need daily care, you have more choices on where to travel and where to sleep at night.

You have opened a door to more opportunities.
 
What Rad said. And, you still have brownie makings.

You also know a lot of people across this Country and Canada that you have never actually met face to face. Some of them even smoke a little socially.

Er... maybe talk with your daughter some about what you want to do going forward. One way or round trip, you need to do some exploring.

Of course, I never know
canyon

PS: You could "Put a Hundred Down and Buy Yourself a Car"
 
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