The Joy Of Growing - SweetSue Goes Perpetual

I only know Dale through you Sue. But, remind him and yourself that life is the journey that matters. From when you are a kid to a teen, a young adult to raising kids and after. The whole point is to be. And the greatest part is the sharing it with each other. That is the only REAL thing in the universe that you can take with you...on both sides. :Love: and hugs.
 
xtrchessreal said:
I only know Dale through you Sue. But, remind him and yourself that life is the journey that matters. From when you are a kid to a teen, a young adult to raising kids and after. The whole point is to be. And the greatest part is the sharing it with each other. That is the only REAL thing in the universe that you can take with you...on both sides. :Love: and hugs.
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Thank you xtrchessreal. We've been blessed to work side-by-side at a number of endeavors through the years, so we've spent more time with each other than most couples could handle. My basic philosophy in life is that the purpose of life is to love and be loved in return. For 34 years we've fulfilled that destiny.

Oh, what a sweet life we've shared. A love affair for the ages. :Love:
 
Can't help but shed a tear tonight, Sue. I can't believe how strong you are. You're incrediblely inspirational. Your words and experience are teaching us all a little about ourselves and a little bit about life. I don't think you really know how much the both of you touch our lives. My fiancé knows you by name. If she didn't know better she would be worried about this Susan chic. Haha. You're helping us all to become better people by taking us on this journey with you.

You're going to be someone I remember for years and years. Long after this magazine.

Here for you girl! :Love:
 
Pigeons420 said:
Can't help but shed a tear tonight, Sue. I can't believe how strong you are. You're incrediblely inspirational. Your words and experience are teaching us all a little about ourselves and a little bit about life. I don't think you really know how much the both of you touch our lives. My fiancé knows you by name. If she didn't know better she would be worried about this Susan chic. Haha. You're helping us all to become better people by taking us on this journey with you.

You're going to be someone I remember for years and years. Long after this magazine.

Here for you girl! :Love:
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That was so touching Pigeons. I can't tell you how much this forum has meant to my strength in passing through this challenging point in our lives. The love you all have shared so openly with me and my love has touched us deeply.

This is the way it's meant to be, the sense of family that this community creates. In times of joy and anguish, it's these connections that carry us. The sheer outpouring of love has stunned me. There is no way for me to balance the scales between us. Isn't it nice that there's no need for that kind of balance? I didn't realize how important I was to the community. I was lost in how important you all were to me.

We'll be growing together for years Pigeons. I'm not going anywhere. :Love:
 
Time to make myself let go and sleep. He's sleeping soundly. The beds here are actually long enough that his foot doesn't jam against the bed frame. He's been dealing with that since mid Feb.

Good night all. :Love:
 
excuse my lack of keeping up , just reading between the lines and reading back to front , ( part of what my problem is ) hope your good , if i was better at writing, reading and spelling then id be able to keep up more,
I was one of the kids at school that slipped through the net and put down as just being naughty and not wanting to learn ,


i hope Dales pain is managed , i dont even know what to say to you to be honest but im thinking of you and wish you peace :circle-of-love:
 
love ya sue and any support i can give it is there without you and this community i couldnt do this nor go through the breakup I am going through
 
TheNuttyProfessor said:
excuse my lack of keeping up , just reading between the lines and reading back to front , ( part of what my problem is ) hope your good , if i was better at writing, reading and spelling then id be able to keep up more,
I was one of the kids at school that slipped through the net and put down as just being naughty and not wanting to learn ,


i hope Dales pain is managed , i dont even know what to say to you to be honest but im thinking of you and wish you peace :circle-of-love:
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Thank you, dear friend. Yes, his pain is being managed in the most compassionate and thorough manner I have ever witnessed. He slept soundly last night, better than in a long time.

It can be difficult to know what to say in this situation. End-of-life issues make most of us a bit uneasy. To be honest, I myself was stressed about it until we arrived here last night. Since then there has been only peacefulness and quiet. Life and death go hand-in-hand Professor. As you age you either come to grips with that reality or live in fear of dying. It makes no sense to fear that which all of us must experience. We chose to embrace the transition and fill our final moments with laughter and love.

In the end all one needs to hear is "I care. I'm here." You did that already Professor.

I read many of the journals back-to-front myself. I remember Cannafan admitting to the same the other day. I'd bet a sizable portion of our community does as well. :laughtwo::green_heart: I keep trying to keep it less wordy, always thinking of you. Alas, I'm destined to be a wordy wench.

I'm glad you keep trying to keep up with me Professor. My world would be lessened by your absence. :Love:
 
Bearswhowalk said:
love ya sue and any support i can give it is there without you and this community i couldnt do this nor go through the breakup I am going through
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This community has an amazing capacity for offering strength and loving humor in the face of life's most difficult moments. We are all blessed by having found each other.

It's a big part of the addictive nature of this forum. :laughtwo::green_heart:
 
All I can Say to Dale is somethign that was taught me " VIOS CON DIOS" (sorry if that is spelled wrong) not just in death but also in life. Hardest lesson i have had to learn
 
Bearswhowalk said:
All I can Say to Dale is somethign that was taught me " VIOS CON DIOS" (sorry if that is spelled wrong) not just in death but also in life. Hardest lesson i have had to learn
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"Vaya con Dios", Go with God. Solid advice Bear. :Love:
 
Daily Update: Perpetual Tent

Leaving Dale in the capable and compassionate care of the hospice team, I came home to tend my garden and try to clean up some of the chaotic mess created in bringing him home for those few, blessed days. With total calmness that has been in such short supply in my life I greeted my little ones.

My first shock was how much the Cheese Candy has grown. She is now 10" tall at Day 32, a mere 1/2" shorter than the Dark Devil, who was harvested yesterday. I'm pleased she'll be more plant than her immediate predecessor.

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She's in the flowering stage.

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I reconfigured the top shelf to get the proper 24" from the Mars Hydro 100x3. This required removing all plants and lights from the lower shelf and then resetting that entire shelf too. They're arranged in order of diminishing height and the T8s are angled.

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Auto Jock Horror x Auto Amnesia is busy building buds.

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The New Year's bag seed is getting some vertical height and sprouting lots of leaves, but no pre flowers yet.
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Auto Destroyer, at 32 days, is also beginning to flower.

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Super Lemon Haze x Blue Satellite 2.2 and African Buzz, down on the end are both showing sex.

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The top shelf of the unit has been lowered to get distance from the light correct. SWICK seedling trays are all ready to go. Tomorrow I'll pick out seeds for the next stage.

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One last look before closing up. Looking good in here. I'm beginning to get really excited about the potential. :slide:

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Life got peaceful all of the sudden. I haven't breathed so freely since he got sick with the original ulcer, going back what, almost seven months? Wow! How time flies when you're having fun. I challenge you to spread joy liberally today, as though you had a bottomless well of it, which you do, by the way. Acknowledge that and let yourself be wild and free about it.

I'm going to take a much needed nap. I think I got all of an hour's sleep last night. Crazy late night thread surfing, so it's all on me. Burning the candle at both ends. Now I'm going to curl up and sleep for the next few hours, before heading back to spend the night with him again. That recliner is comfy, but it doesn't lie flat and I can't sleep on a slope, so I won't be staying there many nights. I wouldn't survive it.

See you all in the threads later. Love you all. You know I mean it. :Love:

:Namaste:
 
:thumb:
Are you able to get all the girls that are flowering under LEDs?
 
They have a month under the T8s Major. Under 11/13 lighting everything acts like autos, so you can't think of them as flowering for another month. It's one of the quirks of this different type of perpetual thing I've got going. Although thinking about it I may want to get some CFLs down there as side lighting in the next week or so. :hmmmm: Let me think about that for a while. After the nap.
 
I just woke up from a nap and the first thing that caught my eye when I logged on was you're signature lines. I've always appreciated the first two but that third one hit me today.

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

I think I'll incorporate that into my personal code.

So nice to have you along Major. :circle-of-love:
 
SweetSue said:
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
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When I heard it, it struck a chord with me.
It is attributed to an old African proverb.
 
Its so good to see you doing your thing here even now Sue, and the great support being offered here.. I'm blown away. I'm sorry I've not been a part of this online family to be here for you for the past months.. you inspire me in so many ways. I don't even know you but when I see your username my eyes light up thinking about your passion and kindness and humor and intelligence...and your lifelong romance with Dale. I don't know Dale either but I can try to envision the beautiful life you must have lived together, and just from the way you talk about him here I know it must have been something special, something real like I've never had. It's making me cry to think about what you're moving on so strongly from already, idk how I could ever do that, I can't even imagine.. You're incredible.. I hope I can be more like you, and find someone as great as Dale one day. Like everyone's saying.. just you sharing here has touched so many lives.. :) thank you Sue.. you're teaching me even now, death scares the crap out of me but I won't ever forget that how you're dealing with it is, kind of making it beautiful.. reading along the last few pages I've gone from heartbroken for you and horrified to..idk, I guess to just accepting, and hoping your strength stays with you and you still find joy in living minus a part of you that you've grown so attached to.. This forum on a screen feels more real to me than a lot of my day to day life does at times :S the way you two came to the decision, beautiful...

I was on the fence... I abandoned my last journal.. with a capital 'A' .. hopefully I can make up for that with another one. Missed you Sue... I'm going to be here more often again. Stay strong.. :Love::hugs::Love::green_heart:
 
SOILGIRL!!!!! Baby have I missed you. Awww girl, don't worry about that abandoned journal. Start another some day and get that passion out there again. You made my day Girl. :circle-of-love:

Life and death Baby, they go hand in hand. I'm glad it helped you to follow the progression to acceptance. We're actually very calm and relaxed now. We've known for years that this would be the end game, so we've been preparing. Now it's just a waiting game and hospice will see to it that he doesn't suffer at all.

I've even stopped crying, and you know how easily I cry. :laughtwo:

I think it will be an interesting journey to find who I am without him. There's so much of me that got lost in the struggle to keep Dale alive. He wants me to get past grief quickly and get on with catching up to living.

Are you back home now? Still have the truck? God Girl, we miss you so desperately. :Love:
 
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