@StoneOtter We can meet you in the recreational weed legal state of Montana. I think that's a couple hour ride from Calgary if I can recall properly.
I forgot to mention that after dinner the three of us are going full
Easy Rider and hitting the western
United States of Weed.
@CaptainLucky gets to be Captain America 'cause he's already a Captain. Dennis Hopper died of prostate cancer and I'm dying of it, so I get to be Billy. And
@Carmen Ray gets her Jack Nicholson on as "Georgette" Hanson.
We hold to the weed-legal states, avoid the ones where we could get killed as hippie biker scum.
Start in Chicago. Hold our breath through Indiana, up the Lake Michigan coastline, hit one of the most beautiful stretches of asphalt on
M-22 over
The Big Mac Bridge where we can avoid Tim Horton's, eat
Pasties and still talk like Canadians. Beauty, eh? Then go west across the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, aka "The U.P." aka, "Up Nort."
Hold our breath through the medical only states of Minnesota and North Dakota ...
OR hold our breaths a little longer and go south through Minnesota to
Northfield, where the Jesse James gang met its match. Head west to Fargo where we can brush up on our foreign language skills again and
Learn to Speak Fargo. Then it's off to the
Black Hills of South Dakota where
Rocky Raccoon met his match.
The Black Hills are full of Bison, Elk, Big Horn Sheep and
Tourons.
Of course, we've been holding our breath too long, so it's off to the recreational-legal state of Montana to meet
@StoneOtter. Montana is an interesting state. There is not much to do except
punch doggies, smoke weed, and
talk about Venutians.
After settling the Venutian issue, we gotta figure out if
@StoneOtter will join us on our weed adventure down through the
American Southwest. But first we got to get there, so we go west, hold our breath a bit through Idaho, get into the consumer-legal state of Washington. Where if we keep riding west we get to the
world's first Starbucks. There we curse the person who invented pumpkin spice everything.
Then head south, to Portland Oregon for craft beer and
Everclear. Most likely we listen to Everclear because there is nothing else on the radio in Portland, Oregon. So we head south along the Pacific Rim highway, feasting on
abalone, drinking fine West Coast wine.
As we travel south along US 101, we find ourselves among the redwoods and weed farms of the Emerald Triangle -- we ain't in Kansas anymore Toto. We're at the focal point of this American pilgramage,
Humboldt County, The OG of OG. Marijuana Mecca. Let's get high. Settle into Trinidad, California, home of the late
Don Van Vliet, Captain Beefheart. Groove to the tunes. And nod together, there's no better place to burn a fattie and watch the sun set.
From there it's south to the heart of American wild fires and wine country,
Napa, and
Sonoma valleys.
Great food. Great wine. And great big price tags. But what do I care? I'm freakin' dying and can't take the cash with me. We're having fun.
We're going to San Francisco! We're going to meet some gentle people there.
We'll roll into
Haight-Asbury jammin' to
Janis, the
Grateful Dead and
Jefferson Airplane. Yeah, we be truckin like the do-dah man, and askin' Alice when we're ten-feet tall. And we'll dine where
Tony Bennett Left His Heart in San Francisco.
Then on to
California 1 and the Big Sur, where the fictional Citizen Kane built his Xanadu, and the real William Randolph Hearst built Hearst Castle. We'll pay our respects to Rosebud and head down some of the most beautiful coastline God ever created,
@Carmen Ray taking photos as fast as she can.
El-Lay? Nope. Not in the plans. Not a fan of high traffic and air you can eat. We stop for a California favorite,
In-N-Out Burger, in San Luis Obispo, then head east to Bakersfield, where it is required by the laws of the Cosmos and Rock-N-Roll that we sit down in a truck stop in listen to the Rolling Stones
Girl with the Faraway Eyes. Unfortunately, we will not run 20 red lights in the Lord's honor.
The peace and beauty of the desert beckon us now. Up over the mountains and down to Death Valley, then south to
Twenty Nine Palms and
Joshua Tree National Park.
We're not finished with the desert, yet. Oh no. Can't get this close to
the world's prettiest big hole in the ground, without visiting, nor the nearby everybody's-seen-it-in-the-westerns,
Monument Valley.
Boy, I'm hearing
@Carmen Ray getting sore, tired, thirsty and hungry back there. She's been digging it so far, I imagine. But it's time for a break. So we head southwest to a certain
Corner in Winslow Arizona. Me, Captain Lucky, and if StoneOtter is still with us, will wait for the girl to show up in the flat-bed Ford. I'm OK if Carmen, with her refined tastes, waits for a guy in a
2023 Bentley Continental GTC. There is a biker bar across the street. We'll eat there.
We're not done with Western Legend and good food. We're headed to Wild West Disneyland --
Tombstone Arizona, home of Wyatt Earp, Doc Holiday and the Shootout at the OK Corral. Good food? You're in the American Southwest. Hope you like Tex-Mex and Mexican. I sure do, particularly in this part of the USA. This ain't Taco Bell.
Then again it's not New Mexico, either, home of red and green chilies. MMMMMmmmmmm. Mama. You'll find it all over. Some places better than others. First there is a visit to old Silver City,
where Mexican Maidens sing songs about their boy-bandit king, Billy the Kid. Then it's off to
see the aliens in Roswell, New Mexico.
I know, this is a long trip, but Ms. Carmen needs to see the United States of Weed. And the good part is just up the road. In
Madrid, New Mexico. A college buddy of mine shot a movie there, "Wild Hogs" and he hated the hippie atmosphere. That's why we're going. Last time I was there I made friends with the original hippies who settled this old mining town for the purpose of growing primo weed in the middle of the NM desert. And they succeeded superbly. We will get an invite to stay at this hippie community. Until it is time to get up to
Santa Fe, and some of the best damned food in the American Southwest.
In Sante Fe we'll stop at
La Choza for a couple Chile Rellenos that are a piece of heaven. And breakfast at
Café Pasqual's for red chilies hotter than hell. Then it's off to Taos Pueblo and true enchantment.
It's difficult to leave New Mexico. It truly is a Land of Enchantment, but we need to get home.
It's off through Kansas, and a must-see visit to the
Kansas Barbed Wire Museum. Truly it is the only thing to see on plains of Kansas and you'll be glad you stopped.
Buy a membership and be the first on your block. Hey, an Associate
Membership is only $10.
But we gotta get going, after all we're in a weed-free zone and holding our breath too long. Time to get to Kansas City, Missouri for
jazz, weed (always a great combination) and
KC Barbecue. We can mosey across the state, and if you haven't had your fill of BBQ, then we'll hit the best ribs joint in the world,
17th Street Barbecue in Murphysboro, Illinois.
Now it's time to head back to Chicago. Hit the
Billy Goat Tavern for "Cheezborger, cheezborger, cheezborger. No Coke. Pepsi."
It's been a great Easy Rider ride. Carmen. And yes, I've taken this trip on my motorcycle.
Time to leave you with this great Easy Rider cannabis anthem. I hope you all enjoyed the ride!
MGM
that is doesn’t allow convicted felons in their country. CL
