Closet Farmers 1st Soil Grow - White Ruski

Closet Farmer said:
When it rains it pours! I am going to end up healthy. I do not have a life threatening disease. I just want to make sure I am healthy when my young ones have babies too!!:Love:

Yes, 6 months is a long treatment. At least I have a job that I use my mind more than my brawn!!

I will take your advise and smoke more. The sedatives to counteract the meds have aweful side effects. :cough::passitleft:
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Well, that's good news CF. I hope you live long enough to watch your baby's baby have a baby.
I have one great grandson, for heaven's sake! 6 grand kids. I think my name will live on. :grinjoint:

Sorry you have to deal with side effects.
 
Sorry for the delay! I have been going through hell lately. These Meds are kicking my ass. I am not able to do much. I will get more active. I really would not wish these meds on anyone. The only reason I am continuing is the bloodwork shows they are working. If I got negative news. These meds would be in the trash!!
 
Hi CF -

Well, glad they're working, but sorry to hear that you've had to go through all this. I've had some awful medication experience, too. Was a big reason I fell off the face of the earth for a few weeks around the beginning of the year. Hang in there - Sure hope you are as comfortable as possible and get through this soon. :goodluck: X
 
OldMedMan said:
Well, that's good news CF. I hope you live long enough to watch your baby's baby have a baby.
I have one great grandson, for heaven's sake! 6 grand kids. I think my name will live on. :grinjoint:

Sorry you have to deal with side effects.
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Siscokid said:
Hope you're holding up my friend and that you soon kick that virus. How's the girls doing?[/QUOTE

I will post picks within the next few days!

Xlr8 said:
Hi CF -

Well, glad they're working, but sorry to hear that you've had to go through all this. I've had some awful medication experience, too. Was a big reason I fell off the face of the earth for a few weeks around the beginning of the year. Hang in there - Sure hope you are as comfortable as possible and get through this soon. :goodluck: X
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253chiefin said:
hey closet farmer...take your time in your recovery. post updates when you have the energy. i hope your health gets better and these meds eventually do what their supposed to do. come on and say hi any time well all be waiting for you to get better:peace:
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Astonr420 said:
get better soon!!! We will be right here waiting for ya brotha!!!

:peacetwo:
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GodsTrichome said:
We will be praying for you brother!!!
Peace and God bless.
GT:Namaste:[/QUOTE



I really appreciate all your responses! I am like a woman on PMS. And that is no bull!! I am crying one minute and want to kill someone the next. The Xanax is the only thing that seems to counteract but it is rough. I am trying to smoke more weed and less Xanax. What I would really like to find the perfect strain to relax me yet also take this depression from these evil meds away.



You are right GT!!!! I need prayers! I need God more than ever right now! I have never been in such a depressed state. There are tears running down my middle aged face right now.
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Brother, I soooo, so feel for you right now!!! And believe me, we will be really praying for you my friend and hoping everything gets better!! I'm sorry for your pain my friend, I truly am.
 
GodsTrichome said:
Brother, I soooo, so feel for you right now!!! And believe me, we will be really praying for you my friend and hoping everything gets better!! I'm sorry for your pain my friend, I truly am.
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Hey GT! I know you are a true man of faith and also have children like me. I also know you have money problems too. Even though I am self employed...I cannot do shit to make money till I am completely off the big pharma meds.

You saying you are praying is good for me to hear and makes me happy! :circle-of-love:
Siscokid said:
I have just come down from the mountain...sacrificed a chicken and spilled it's blood on a young virgin for you...

Now that I freaked out my neighbors and the chicken is in the oven I'll get that rosary out for you. :peace:
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Sisco! I love you man! You really do make me smile for real with your posts. You went all the way to sacracfice a chicken!!! Amazing!!! I wish I didn't have tears comming down my eyes now.....I have a smile on my face!!????! Amazing !!!!!! :circle-of-love::high-five:
 
it's great when people that you have never met, that you have a online communication with, can still put a smile on your face :thumb:

I know that feeling brotha, this is why I love this site so much.

:peacetwo:
 
I'm glad you forgot about the yuckies for a minute..I have a very close in-law that has just been diagnosed with D. Myelofibrosis with Myeloid Metaplasia :geek:c

His pain is up there.. so now he's on the real hard stuff, looking like my old doper buddies...except he's missing the long ashed cigarette burning into his fingers. :straightface:

His father was my fishing partner, he passed away 3 years ago with cancer..sucks.

You hang in there and we'll keep our fingers, eyes, and leggs crossed for ya! :circle-of-love:
 
Astonr420 said:
it's great when people that you have never met, that you have a online communication with, can still put a smile on your face :thumb:

I know that feeling brotha, this is why I love this site so much.

:peacetwo:
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Thanks Astonr420!!! You have been a great friend too! You are right about this site. I am glad they let me back on. The support is really making it a lot easier to deal with what I am going through!:circle-of-love:

Siscokid said:
I'm glad you forgot about the yuckies for a minute..I have a very close in-law that has just been diagnosed with D. Myelofibrosis with Myeloid Metaplasia :geek:c

His pain is up there.. so now he's on the real hard stuff, looking like my old doper buddies...except he's missing the long ashed cigarette burning into his fingers. :straightface:

His father was my fishing partner, he passed away 3 years ago with cancer..sucks.

You hang in there and we'll keep our fingers, eyes, and leggs crossed for ya! :circle-of-love:
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You are a real Patch Adams!!! LOL!! I should be completely Hep C free in less than 4 months! For now I will not be able to post much at all! I really love you all very much. I still plan on posting pics. My computor is having issues and I am too sick to fix.

The Xanax is the hard stuff too. Now the doctor wants to see if I should be on something stronger. Oh Boy!

The coctail of meds I take.

1 makes me angry and PMS like
2 makes me wide awake and I seem to have a hard time sleeping at night.
3 calms me down and slurs my voice so I sound drunk all the time.

3 more months!!! :circle-of-love:
 
Siscokid said:
You hang tuff bro, keep the faith and we'll do the same. :thumb:
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Thanks Sisco!! I am hanging in there!! I wish I could say I was a tough bro tho. This is the hardest mental thing I have ever had to deal with. I cannot sleep at night. I cry on command. I get angry. The only thing that works is Xanax. Weed does make me need less Xanax though. Tonight was my weekly night I had to shoot up the Pegasys Med. It makes me keep awake. I am going to have to take another Xanax and smoke more weed!! I swear I am going to hate the withdrawl. But day one...I have a plan to slowly wean off the meds so I can still work and be just a little unconfortable.

I still havent gotten my computor back yet. When I do supposedly by Monday I will post the pics. It looks like I have 2 plants that will be ready in 3 to 4 weeks. They are all looking better than my last batch. I really like growing in dirt! Somthing about the dirt in my fingers turns me on!!:circle-of-love:
 
Closet Farmer said:
Thanks Sisco!! I am hanging in there!! I wish I could say I was a tough bro tho. This is the hardest mental thing I have ever had to deal with. I cannot sleep at night. I cry on command. I get angry. The only thing that works is Xanax. Weed does make me need less Xanax though. Tonight was my weekly night I had to shoot up the Pegasys Med. It makes me keep awake. I am going to have to take another Xanax and smoke more weed!! I swear I am going to hate the withdrawl. But day one...I have a plan to slowly wean off the meds so I can still work and be just a little unconfortable.

I still havent gotten my computor back yet. When I do supposedly by Monday I will post the pics. It looks like I have 2 plants that will be ready in 3 to 4 weeks. They are all looking better than my last batch. I really like growing in dirt! Somthing about the dirt in my fingers turns me on!!:circle-of-love:
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Hey Buddy! :bravo:

I was wondering where you were at. Still batting I see. Keep going bro it will be over soon. :Love:
 
I was thinking of you and thought some of my famous stupid ranting would not be turned away...so here I am.

I'm such a puss when it comes to pain...I was on some pain killers for a while cause I broke my left wrist pretty good, so they had to fix my wrist (I heard it snap when it broke, sounded like a carrot).

The drugs they gave me clogged up the honey...that was worse then the pain in my wrist.

As soon as I finished phys-therapy I was back to work, and then.....$#@!@#$#@!@#$$
I felt a hot jolt of lightning hit my wrist!

Well, it wasn't lightning.....but it sure Freaking felt like it! All I was doing was turning a key to un-lock the door, when the tendons to the thumb were severed by the plate they stuck in there to hold the bones in place.

I go back to the specialist that put it in and he was sweating bullets, he thought I was going to sue.

I really was upset, not at him, at the fact that I had to go through the whole thing again. So, I had to get the plates removed, and the only way that he could fix the new problem of the severed lig, was to take some from my ring finger.

Had to stay in a cast again for another 3 months and go through that damn Phys-therapy again.

This time the end result of the operation and therapy didn't fix my thumb...I can move it around but I'm really not able to pinch, zipp/un-zipp pants, or play guitar (I never played the guitar)...pick up anything with real weight. I drop stuff all the time now, and that sucks for someone that works/ed with his hands.

I still have four good finger on there though..

Another time I broke something it wasn't my body, it belonged to a guy that was constantly picking on me. I showed him the heavy end of a Louiville. lol J/k!

OK, I'll let you go to sleep now...OH WAIT, you can't sleep.

So did I ever tell you about the time I went to Soccer camp and sat on the bench the whole 3.5 weeks.

I hated Soccer, I asked to be put into baseball and my dang Mexican dad got me cleats and no glove...

I also was interested in playing the guitar...but they thought the Accordion would be even better! I was the only kid that had parents buying trophies... to things that I sucked at.

My first girlfriend was black (we were like 7) she liked to play house and stuff. My first dog was black too...BB...It died with worms coming out it's butt.

My first bag of herb came from her brother (my first girl) and man, his dime bags were about 1/8 back then... mid 80's some real stinky stuff he would call Cess and my man accepted rolls of pennies for it too.

OK, I'll be off now..hope all this non-sense has been worth the pixels it was typed on..I had fun with it..lets do it again sometime. :thumb:
 
Hey CF -

Just sending you some positive vibes. I can tell this has been an incredibly difficult experience for you, but rest assured you're in my thoughts! Hang in there, health stuff is tough, but hang in there. I myself am a girly man who gets overwhelmed by it sometimes, but that's okay too. (I tell myself!!)

Anyway, tons and tons of positive energy your way brother. You're not alone. Here's the words I live by, everyday (feel free to laugh):

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." Dory from Finding Nemo
 
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