Breaking Brix: Buck's DIYs

dajerm119 said:
Damn.. well that settles it Buck. Ima have to come up, help you with that harvest... Damn bro I hope one day I grow even just one plant that badass... Great work Buck!!:goodjob::bravo:
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Hang out with these guys for a little while and you'll have a dozen of them and then get angry that you have too much good smoke and don't know what to do with it.
 
So I just came up with this theory. I believe in God. I feel like if you can not accept that there is someone out there somewhere that is smarter than you... your an idiot. So, I can't stand reading the bible and not finding one joke in there. Like, matthew, mark, luke, and john just standing around protecting Christ going "who was that?" Wasn't me. It was the donkey. Then I get too thinking. What if God is just a kid in class reporting to his teacher. Billions of years go by for us, but for him, ya know, eternity. He goes into class with his dinosaur diorama.. going, look what I created. I made plants. dinosaurs. prehistoric man. Then his teacher gives him a D- on his work. So god is all upset that he has to destroy his dinosaurs. All right. Back to square one. I have to create a man that has a soul. So he goes about creating adam and eve. yes, now I got it. Then lucifer totally gives him a wedgie in the hallway. oooh, I just put some giants down in your diorama. God goes into the bathroom to wash off his project he has to hand to the teacher. Flood. So he get's into class. Get's a B- because of the damage. His jewish parents are pissed at that grade. He's upset in his room and now has to create himself in human form in his diorama to get that A+ his parents want.

Dude. I just came up with this. I'll continue the story once I stop laughing.
 
Buckshot317 said:
Haha, The Church of Clobber Day Saints

:rollit::passitleft:
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Awe man. I have some good ones for you. So, I am the God child right. Long story. I'm totally shredded and call my mom up all buzzed going. I don't care about the house, I don't care about the property, All I want is the victrola and your bible ( which she has had in her hand since I was born). Hung up on her. Two days later. There was a package at my door. It was that bible. So.. I called mom going WTF??? This is what she tells me. Well, we sold the victrola and I just turned catholic, so I do not need that bible anymore. Made me go WTF? again.
 
I hope that it doesn't make you mad that I tell stories. This one is classic. So my parents were getting the foundation done on their house. I get this phone call from my dad, righ?. Like 10 at night. He's all... is this your's? I'm all. Uhhh. yea. I knew instantly what he was talking about. K, you have to picture my dad. Tiny guy that has never drank a beer, smoked marijuana, shot a gun, or anything. So I knew exactly what he was talking about. I'm all yea, that's mine... uh, can you just put it back where you found it. He's all.. why do you need that? I said the chinese might invade. This was right when the original ban happened in Kali in 2001. so I burried an ak with a 1000 rounds at my parents house lol. Still trying to make him understand that I didn't even lose money on that purchase. In fact, I made money.
 
Ok. The snore one. This is so long and I do not know if I can even type it out. Where the heck is buckshit when you need him. This is how messed up my place was. I had a cat that I found under my parents house totally mumified. Don't worry, I actually gave it a proper buarila. Then my neighbor started feeding it.

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Kitties

Then my other neighbor had parties every night. So there was this chick who was completely insane and had some weird crush on me. So in this little tiny apartment there was a line for the bathroom with all chicks. So this girl comes up to me and is all "my nickname", can I use your restroom at your place. I'm all sure, I don't give a shit. At the same time, I told her how we have been at war for a while with each other that i don't want any drama. Never hooked up with lady nor implied that I ever would, that's me as a man.

Need bucks permission to finish the story.
 
ClobberWatts said:
Ok. The snore one. This is so long and I do not know if I can even type it out. Where the heck is buckshit when you need him. This is how messed up my place was. I had a cat that I found under my parents house totally mumified. Don't worry, I actually gave it a proper buarila. Then my neighbor started feeding it.

13501867_1379145758769530_9172119383444013720_n.jpg

13501867_1379145758769530_9172119383444013720_n.jpg

Kitties

Then my other neighbor had parties every night. So there was this chick who was completely insane and had some weird crush on me. So in this little tiny apartment there was a line for the bathroom with all chicks. So this girl comes up to me and is all "my nickname", can I use your restroom at your place. I'm all sure, I don't give a shit. At the same time, I told her how we have been at war for a while with each other that i don't want any drama. Never hooked up with lady nor implied that I ever would, that's me as a man.

Need bucks permission to finish the story.
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I just stopped by here, not sure what to make of all these stories Clobber--you've led a crazy life!

The cat pick had me rolling with laughter.
 
I love how the one day I meet my neighbors drink a few beers and smoke a little is the day I crash out on my floor and my apogee is on the porch in the rain. Now that I'm white trash and stuff I might have to have dinner tonight at appogee's instead of applebee's.
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StoneyMemoirs said:
I just stopped by here, not sure what to make of all these stories Clobber--you've led a crazy life!

The cat pick had me rolling with laughter.
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Right. 2 avalanches, drowned in a river, shot at, brake lever stuck in my side, been in fires, electrocuted. I'm sure there is more. Never one broken bone. Broken heart one time.
 
What if you worked at one of these factories like the parts I just got for my aluminum rails. You got the guys cutting the aluminum. But it's like the movie blood diamond. Shoving little slivers of aluminum in their pockets to take to the recycling center just to get their daughter a McDonald's cheeseburger after work. But then you got that boss man on the floor screaming "STOP", shaking the aluminum shavings off your clothes checking under your teeth for that 1/8" cutoff you made on that piece that was 41.5 instead of 41 5/8th's
 
StoneyMemoirs said:
I just stopped by here, not sure what to make of all these stories Clobber--you've led a crazy life!

The cat pick had me rolling with laughter.
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One of the reason's Oregon totally screwed me over. I had the perfect house set up, but this chick/landlord saw that one photo on facejerk even though my account was blocked to the public. I didn't know that people could still see that stuff. Fine now, but it totally screwed me. I get this message the next day after everything is perfect. I cannot rent to you. I'm like why? Everything was perfect.... that photo of the cat is just too disturbing. I couldn't even explain that it was me crawling in a 12" space under my parents victorian to redo their electrical with 2'' of powdery dirt so every time you move your inhaling it, carry that thing out mumified cuz I felt bad for the thing starving to death and dying cuz it couldn't get out of that space. told everyone to not fuck with my cat. Yes, I did put the spike necklace on it to make it punk rock, but I figured I had more respect for that cat than anyone else. Try explaining that to some 30 year old landlord in Portland
 
Not sure if I told you guys this joke. I only ask that you give me credit if you use it. So, I'm hanging out with this white trash guy up in the hills to check on some plants. Never met the guy but trying to shoot the shit right? So I'm all look, you got a flat butt like my skinny little white ass has, right? He's all yea while it's like 90 degree's no knowing what I was talking about. I'm all. have you ever had sex with woman that has had a child? Looking at me all confused not knowing where I was going with it. He's all... yea I've had sex with a woman with a child. I'm all. So, doesn't that make you a badass motherfucker? Took him like two minutes to get it and then was busting up laughing for like 15 min. I'm just all. Right? I am a badass motherfucker. Well, not any more. I retired from that.
 
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