" So many many moons ago i was brought into this void of darkness amongst the foulest of beings who all seemed bloodthirsty and hungry and here I was freaking da fu.. out, somehow while being snatched from clawed appendages and tossed side to side from narrow misses with snapping jaws I thought I'd be shredded chicken by now........but a manicured claw grabbed me by the ankle and saved me from the abyss I was looking into ( that was how I met my dad and his massive jaws and cavernous throat ).
The manicure claw that was my savior and the only who didn't try to eat me was my mother and I have never loved her more.....
" island, underground lake, misty mountains....
Still to this day I love her for that " move " sharp reflexes even though I overheard when I was way younger back then she said to my dad that if he had eaten me that would mean 1 pair of hands less for catching them pesky goblins and she didn't bring me into the world jus to be eaten.......lol
And all the other claw n jaws were brothers and sisters after my skinny guts n bones.
Guys please have some
I'm sure ms.Rooster has some canna goodness ( cherry pie ) I might of overheard - old habits of late.... back to the story
Apparently there were times of Great Depression when I was younger, we had virtually exhausted our goblin population ( like seriously you'd think these goblins would realize their numbers are diminishing at a steady rate and start getting " JIGGY " with it, like really go procreate or something, you can't just die out or something like hell " what did I do ".... stupid goblins...
On a positive note we are planning on raiding hobbitsis settlements up in the big world to supplement our diets. This is how I found out how scrumptious hobbitsis are, they r round, and shrubby and and I can't explain how yummy they really are and such a steady supply up dere in the big world where @somanyawsome people and I noticed a hobbitsis infestation in your garden but smeegolthenewest ( youngest brother ) and I are contented with hobbitsis steaks and jerky to last till next hobbitsis. So you are safe..
Please help yourselves everyone ms. Rooster has outdone her herself and spoiled us rotten...afterwards if it pleases your lady friends mr/ms rooster ladies to the parlor, gentlemen to the study where bowls n pipes are bein primed............
...................hook, line and sinker moment................. I bloody hope so, I type 2 fingers at a time ..
Anyway I was the most boisterous out of everyone and got sent to to a remedial boarding school for gollums with adhd ( 1 was 9yrs old my older brother a year befor me ) and there were really schools like that back in South Africa those days, you don't get them now....
So the bathrooms had the usual boarding school style, so my 1st year there I was in 1 one of these massive baths I could swim in ( 2 separate baths in 1 big cubicle type thing ) my brother occupying the other bath....
Anyway so Smeegol was chewing gum in the bath and spat it out into the still quite warm water and that in turn melted ( for the life of me I still don't know how I achieved this ) Smeegol had this wad of melty bubblegum throughly encompassing his little boy part and the more I attempted removing it only worsened the predicament smeegol now found himself in. My brother by this stage is only dying of laughter as you do at that age and I was panicking ( think blocked drain here ) and 45 mins passed before I went and got help.....
They boarding hostel I slept in is looked after by a house matron and house father and they look after bout 60 of us with the rest of the stage ( 45 - 55yrs old ) so to us kids at that age is like a granny or oupa to us (grandparents)
So the matron was alerted to my situation and I had to show her what's going on...
The matron was totally baffled and didn't know what to do ( now my bits are under scrutiny mind you ) so phones my mom who lives on a farm bout 40km away ( had to wait for the operator those days) my mom was speechless ran down to my grandmothers house 400m down the farm road...
Eventually my gran said use butter to get it off as buy now I'm sure I needed the loo.. so 45 min later, a block of butter and a I could die moment off I went to bed that's 1 story that's become " remember when smeegol was 9....
at family gatherings..
It's long but a worthy effort for your consideration.....mr. Rooster.........lol
stop in and enjoy the pics and tell me some funny stories and your my kinda dude! 
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