Well as long as your hosting Mountain out there, I figure I'd swim out there myself for a visit..
. Course I'd have to get some swim trunks first, can't be caught in the middle of my trip without my trunks on. I mean what would you do if a Cruise Ship passed you by and you were out there swimming to Hawaii with your naked sunburned rear end looking like two orange harvest moons bouncing across the water! For crying out loud someones libel to harpoon your ass! You wouldn't let your mother do that, right? So I'm swimming out there and I'm thinking, "Are there any sharks out here? They could be right under neath me lookin up at my sorry ass or wait, actually they'd see the 'other side'....
....so here I am with another 1500 miles to go." Well I've got my can of hornet spray (that's an idea that was discussed over on my thread about repelling wild animals). Well hey, if it works for bears and that's still up for debate, it may work for sharks. right? Well if not at least I won't get stung on my voyage across the Pacific. This is were the swimming fins would come in handy, I could throw them at the shark if I had to. How many sharks get swim fins thrown at them, not too many. It will totally confuse the heck out of it.
So I figure a couple weeks later when my sorry, poor, unable to buy a plane ticket to Hawaii ass finally washes up on a beach somewhere, (hopefully the right island). you'd be there to peel me off the beach. Hey, I spent my last nickel on those darn fins! Now the problem is you may have given up on me after news came in about a shark that washed up on another island with a swim fin just like mine stuck in it's throat, You'd probably think the worst and just warn all your other guests not to swim from SF unless they had larger swim fins.
Heck by the time I got there and recovered from the shock of seeing you, I'd already have to swim back home! The next trip would require a little more planning and thought, definitely with swim trunks and larger fins. Maybe pepper spray too?
All this buddy I'd do just to sit out back with y'all and watch that pretty Hawaiian sunset with a cool drink in one hand and a fat doobie in the other. Have to smoke yours though, my stash I had hidden in the swim fin. Ya never know when the 'man' is going to show up!
Sorry for going off topic O. It won't happen again!