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Hello everyone! This is my first post but I've been lurking for a while and reading up.
I have been depressed for about 20 years now. Realized that it's a condition and went to doc's about 9 years ago.
Depending on which of my doc's you ask you will get either major or bipolar or both and when I gave up conventional medicine I've even earned "incurable" as well - nothing works.
Since the time I went to doc I have tried the whole 9 yards and shitload of psychopharmaceuticals. Best result was total emotional numbness - you are incapable of feeling any emotion at all, even anger or sadness. Worst - completely rationalized suicide attempts because you clearly know that 1) tomorrow will suck same way 2) there is no relief.
Well, I did manage to survive and got off all antidepressants except my insomnia medicine. I noticed that if I keep my sleep in check, I can somewhat function - still depressed, still anxious, stressed and tired as shit, with xanax/ambien hangover in the mornings but I could drag myself through the day to the next one.
I quit drinking alcohol completely and now I'm sober close 2 years now and was actually considering convulsive electroshock as last resort.
And then I started looking/reading stuff about cannabis - medicinal properties. I'm not saying it cures depression BUT I get relief - I can sleep because it knocks me out. I eat again without forcing and I enjoy doing it, I'm relaxed and my mind is not racing and if I go with the flow I actually start enjoying doing things - the simple ones I had to drag myself to do before. It's like the "dead horse me" got some life back, even if it's for 2-4h at the time, it beats the overwhelming misery by million fold.
I think last time I experienced the simple joy of eating something tasty when I was 3 or 5 years old and clearing my cat's litter boxes was actually fun and not the usual "must do or die task" and that is a massive change in my thinking process.
I know it's not cure but I can function and enjoy life much better, without anorgasmia or foggy head or any other side effects you will get from prescription drugs. It takes away my anxiety, stress, racing thoughts, negativity, anger. I am better father because I actually enjoy spending time with my kids and not pretend or force myself to do that and the loud sounds, lights and all that noise does not irritate me anymore. I'm chilled, relaxed, easy going, no aggression.
Now I'm getting me off the benzos that I'm so used to taking for my sleep. Last night smoked 0.2g, raided fridge, and drifted away to sleep in that warm buzzing relaxed body high without my xanax-ambien mix while watching Dexter I think I still have something like "afterglow" today - in a good way.
Hope it helps. I'm definitely convinced that right cannabis in proper amount will give you good relief. Works for me.
What strains are u taking. I need relief. I just can't eat...and most times do t eat for two or three days....go from angry to sad quickly...can't sleep...feel anxious for no reason....and snapping at the kids for no reason or minor infractions....don't want to be here most days and wonder why I can't be caught in a mass shooting or bombing....at least it would be over. Realized 6 weeks ago meds are not working anymore...took me 4 weeks to get an appointment with my doc...missed two..hoping I make it to see her on Thursday. I really don't want the meds but something has got to help until I can figure out what strains to grow.
Thanks so much, Sue! Where is this course you are planning to take? I really appreciate you passing this information along. I will probably be putting some seeds to soil for a CBD strain in the near future.. with the hopes of making and trying these olive oil capsules.
The courses are a true joy to watch.The course is offered by Green Flower Media. They're dedicated to education and they're calling on respected physicians to work with them. I can gift the course I purchased to someone of my choice. If you're interested, PM me your email address and I'll gift it to you. Or, purchase yourself and gift yours to someone else. Their goal is to spread knowledge and take cannabis mainstream. Any help we can give them furthers the cause for all of us.