2nd Entry: I want the Mars Hydro TS2000 because, well, where should I begin... My Father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like, he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there... I found this forum and giveaway, so thought I’d post arguably one of the greatest monologues from modern film to see if it’s good enough to win 
Ladies and gentleman ^^^^ compliments of Dr. Evil, Austin Powers International Man of Mystery. Cheers.
Ladies and gentleman ^^^^ compliments of Dr. Evil, Austin Powers International Man of Mystery. Cheers.
