InTheShed Grows Inside & Out: Jump In Any Time

farside05 said:
They are all separate incidences. The hose is the least humorous. I had filled up a waterbed with a garden hose, had both ends in my hand and walked down a flight of stairs. I am fully aware of fluid dynamics, but had a momentary lapse. As all the water started rushing down the stairs and coming out of the hose, me not wanting to make a mess in the house, stuck both ends of the hose in my mouth. Needless to say it filled me up pretty quick and I had water shooting out my nose. Yep, I'm a dumbass. In the end I still had big mess to clean up.
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You have great stories though! Glad you made it to now!
 
Scottsquatch said:
Shed, you probably already know this... but watch that puppy if you put out warfsrin. I saw first hand how a puppy dies from this. I thought my nieghbors kid would never be the same. He cried for 2 weeks. let me tell ya, it was ugly...
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Great advice Scott, thanks! I'll be tucking them under the ramp where only the rats can reach them.
 
See this hole?
 
InTheShed said:
No one would believe a screenplay of your experiences farside! The copier, the hose, the lighter...
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My chest hair and eyebrows grew back from the fire incident. The hose didn't leave a mark. I got a scar from the copier if you care to look for the proof...lol Got a 4 inch scar on my wrist from trying to ride my son's skateboard down the driveway at age 40. Broke it and ended up having to have a proximal row carpectomy where they take 2 bones out of your wrist. That surgery was a mistake. It's now like it is permanently broken, limited mobility, no grip strength, can't bear any weight on it. Most people at work think I'm 5-10 years younger than I am because I never grew up. Age is just a number. Well, until you feel your aches and pains.
 
Farside, you got me topped, but I did once get a nasty cut on my ass while trying to copy my balls. My big mistake was that I sat on the printer. I really kinda had to, as I was pretty inebriated at the time and couldn't keep my balance very well (I was quite high too). As you may have guessed by my username, I'm not a small person by any means, so of course the glass broke. I got quite a few nice cuts, but one was bad and I knew it should have been stitched up(my finger almost went in to the second knuckle), but like you, I was not about to explain my asinine behavior to the ER docs either! Fortunately, it was only about an inch long and more like a stab wound really. Anyway, that's my dumb story of the day. Keep it green all.

Scott
 
Drive bye..

Damn your thread moves fast,, to fast for me to catch up.. I already misread you had a Brother,,, maybe I'll stick to looking at pics rather than speed reading... GL with the rats. I had good luck with the poison baits. Like said,, be careful in placement. Them SOB will eat anything damn near...

I see the stories people writing about stupid shit they did in the past... I know I have a story that shows who is the biggest fool around..

And I've done alot of stupid shit in the past... But this one takes the cake... Headlines don't tell the truth. I was shot 3 times, twice with 38's, and a 12 gauge to the side of the head.... and was 80 bullet holes in the truck.. And I wasted 4 cop cars before I hit the roadblock.. I was a 18-year-old punk kid drunk joyriding after my car sunk in the river. But that's a long story leading up to it... .

thumbnail (1).jpg

thumbnail (1).jpg

bad call?
That was forever ago.........

GL with the rats.. Keepem Green
 
Holy cow! After that article I can see why you gave up reading :).
 
InTheShed said:
Great advice Scott, thanks! I'll be tucking them under the ramp where only the rats can reach them.
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Teach the dog to catch the rats.

Scottsquatch said:
Shed, you probably already know this... but watch that puppy if you put out warfarin. I saw first hand how a puppy dies from this. I thought my nieghbors kid would never be the same. He cried for 2 weeks. let me tell ya, it was ugly...
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Extremely good advice to anyone who uses this. I've been to barns and seen this stuff near horse feed and in stalls...wtf.

Use and be accountable for it's use. Just don't be sloppy (general message, not to shed).



We should have a stoned dumb story thread for when we need humor....

I have two stories involving deep fryers.
 
Our puppy is asleep in the house when the rats are out. But I'm always up for a deep fryer story...
 
Scottsquatch said:
BTW, Farside... did you ever get a copy of your junk for all that trouble? :rofl:
Alas, I did not
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Nah, I kinda jumped a little when my junk got caught and blurred the copy.

Good to see I'm not the only one with stories of stupid shit. Truthfully I think everyone has a near Darwin Award Winner tale, just most won't admit it.
 
I have never tried to make a photocopy of my balls. I did not know this was a thing. I feel like i've missed some sort of primal right to manhood.
 
nobodyhere said:
I have never tried to make a photocopy of my balls. I did not know this was a thing. I feel like i've missed some sort of primal right to manhood.
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I was in the Navy during the years when "The Goat" became popular. LoL

I've seen far too much homo-erotic, dickplay after years on the ship.
:rofl:

I became known for a move named "The Alfred Facecock". Basically, using a flashlight as a backlight, you can project the silhouette of your junk onto your buddie's face while he sleeps.

....then you startle them awake and joke about how gay they were.

LoL
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
#glorydays
 
The Alfred Facecock....nice, very, nice.

Just a projection huh.
 
Preston9mm said:
I was in the Navy during the years when "The Goat" became popular. LoL
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I had to look this up. Urban dictionary strikes again.
Much better than you having to describe it to me.Lol
 
farside05 said:
So...I'm about 18 years old. My parents owned a flower shop and greenhouse. My dad is off somewhere one day, which puts me in charge. In walks a copy machine salesman. He starts in with his pitch on how we should have a copy machine. I tell him we don't really have a need for one. He's very insistent. "Tell you what", he says, "I've got a small desktop copier I'll leave with you for 2 weeks. I'll come back for it in 2 weeks and you can decide then. But I bet that you'll see how much you will use one if you have one.". So guy leaves the copier. I find a spot for it on a small desk we had. A week goes by. Noone has used the thing. I'm working late one night, all by myself, doing some bi-monthly billing on the computer. Well, I'm 18, young brash and stupid. I decide I'm gonna put my junk on the copier and make a copy. Mind you, noone has yet to use this thing. So I get up on my tip toes, lift the lid, put my junk up on the glass, and push the button. Much to my surprise, the copier starts moving like and old fashioned type writer where the platen moves. Most copiers the little light bar moves, not this one. The light stays stationary and the rest of the copier moves instead. Not wanting to smear the copy of my Johnson, now I'm tip toeing along with the moving glass. I did pretty good on the way down, but coming back, my sack got caught in the gears. I mean it stopped it cold! So here I am, on my tip toes, sack stuck, and no real way to get them free. I can't see it, the top of the copier is blocking my view. So my only option was to forcibly jerk the top of the copier back in the direction from whence it came. Laid my sack open about an inch. Never went to a doctor because I sure as hell wasn't gonna explain that. Taped everything up as best I could and it healed just fine. The next couple days was rough. Still worked and had to lead on like everything was ok. Oh, and the salesman? My dick was the only copy made in that 2 week stretch.
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You, sir, have won the entire internet today.
 

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