I used this site and others to evaluate how/if I could pass a hair follicle drug test. Thankful for that, I am going to post my story to maybe help others. Just as importantly, to stick a finger in the eye of the companies that develop biological diagnostic tests to impede liberty for profit not cure disease.
In addition, it pissed me off when people would whine, tell their whole story for emotional support and never post their results. Although I choose not to burden this message board, and contributors with my anxiety – I do feel obligated to post my somewhat unique experience.
My situation had many variables, thus, the extreme length of this post. Forgive me for any spelling, grammar mistakes – but I’m a volunteer treat me as such.
I knew for several months that I was going to get offered a permanent position. I didn’t intend on accepting. I like contracting. Hourly billing prevents white collar slavery. But I started enjoying the work and for personal reasons wanted the job (keep the job).
Early Feb 2015 (still contract) – I was working on a process mapping project for my division when I accidentally discovered drug testing within the HR hiring process map. I was surprised because the work environment was super laid back. I quit puffing immediately - thinking I could control the hiring process and pass a urine test within 20 days.
I didn’t smoke often, couple times a month but in January my realtor gave me and my wife an ounce of medical marijuana as a closing gift. So I had started partaking more frequently – I estimate I personally smoked around an eighth over 2 weeks (lightweight). Since, for me, things were going well and it was a sweet Sativa strain – I was less likely to get paranoid (worst side-effect).
Well, I quit smoking Tues Feb 3th. I received my permanent offer Friday Feb 20th - 17 days since my last puff. The offer was really good, more vacation/salary than I anticipated, I liked my work and coveted stability, I very much wanted the job. The offer was presented as, “contingent upon background check and drug screen.” Due to commercial issues I had to accept the offer by Friday Feb. 21st for a start date of Monday Feb. 23rd. Because the nature of the work and rushed hiring, I was responsible for scheduling my own exam/screen. Then he said it, “hair test!” Damn!
Needless to say my work suffered because the next couple days because I was preoccupied searching (on my personal mobile network) “passing hair test”, “offer contingent upon passing”, “cut off levels.” ETC.
Well – eventually I passed. Omega was the lab.
More story:
It was a pre-employment drug test, and my first dilemma - should I even risk taking the test? As the attorney I talked to put it, yes, the terms of the offer were ‘pre-employment’ and I was employed. But, just like almost every employer/employee relationship – it was ‘at will.’ My employer wouldn’t be required to fire me (by law), nor was my job legally protected in any way either. Knowing that company-wide process audits were imminent – HR/ Sr. Management would be pissed if it were discovered down-the-road. Not a recipe for the stability I coveted.
What I did to pass the hair follicle drug test and timeline:
In addition to my recent THC use detailed earlier, I take 20-40mg of Adderall and .5 – 1.5 MG of Xanax most days.
Hair cleansing method –
Feb. 22 (Sunday) called salon and told scheduler I needed to bleach and re-dye because of a drug test. A cool stylist intentionally took my appointment because she had some experience in such matters. She spent 3 ½ hours on a busy Sunday attending to her new regular client. A fresh cut to 3 inches, 40 strength bleach all but scalp followed by a full re-bleach with 20 strength. She then did a professional shampoo, scalp massage and re-dye. It was expensive, and I tipped very generously – but she totally deserved every penny of it (her lack of effort wasn’t going to make me fail).
On my own, I did my best version of Muco J – White Vinegar, Clear Pore Neutrogena (Blue – Salicylic Acid 2%) & Tide. I did this 4X times over the next 3 days (1X, I added baking soda before washing with Tide). Also, I washed my hair daily with Nexxus Emergence ’e reconstructing treatment (found it at Target – active ingredient Propylene Glycol).
Ordered a Psychemetics PFT-90 exam (for kids) online Monday Feb. 23 and received the package Thursday Feb. 26. Had my wife take a sample in AM Friday before any treatments – and overnighted the submission to California to get results as fast as possible. Since they had my submission Monday morning, I got my results online Tuesday Feb. 27th. Everything Negative – “Below Screening Cutoff Levels” actually. THC (Carboxy THC) – less 5 pg/10mg. “Samples are tested using an enzyme immunoassay (EIA) screen.” I think they only do the mass spectrometry to confirm positive screen results – just like all labs.
Fearing getting called to the carpet at any time by HR - I carefully managed the scheduling of my drug test exam. Before attending new hire orientation on Monday morning, I scheduled an exam later in the week. Next, I filled my outlook calendar (to make exam delay because of work plausible) and called the clinic and rescheduled the exam for 3 weeks. Once I got negative results from the home test, I scheduled the drug exam time as soon as possible.
Between my Psychemtics results and the actual clinic test, I did I did Mucco J once and Nexxus shampoo three times.
Test Experience/ Conveyance of results:
They tested from crown of head as expected, and I clipped all body hair sans legs just in case. The MRO told me he would contact me if results required confirmation of prescriptions. I was told I would know results in 2-3 days. Well not the case, and it is bullshit – I didn’t relax until end of business March 13th. At that point, it seemed all potential delays would have worked their way through the system.
The test location was mandated, an inner-city clinic. So service levels were consistent with what I learned to expect in such locations. I hadn’t heard anything, and Tuesday March 10th I tried calling the MRO with no luck. Then I asked the receptionist if she could simply confirm whether results had/ had not been received. “We can’t do that sir!” Frustrated – I called the same hospital’s suburb clinic location, I was informed that I should have been contacted already if I hadn’t passed, but couldn’t guarantee. So I asked if she would just confirm if results had come in. “Sure” she said. When I didn’t show in the system, I admitted I hadn’t taken the physical at her location but was hoping that she might see something. Bummer – clinics don’t share that type of information – workaround didn’t work. Tried calling my ‘socio-economic challenged’ location again just for confirmation of results and received a more emphatic, “results don’t belong to you and I can’t tell you anything, sir!”
I smoked an eighth (1/8 ounce) or so within 3 months of my hair exam. Neither Adderall nor Xanax showed on positive on 2 tests. I used hair cleanses I found on the internet.
I am middle-age, gray/blondish hair, normal BMI. Note, had I not passed for THC my plan was to tell the MRO that I had an active prescription for Marinol (10 Mg.) to allow me time to resign gracefully before positive results from the MRO shamed me. (Marinol - dronabinol was the only federally legal prescription I could find that causes positive THC coronoid results). My phony story, if asked, was going to be that the prescription was for loss of appetite.
In conclusion, the whole process sucked. It was expensive. And I felt like a criminal. Drug tests, specifically hair tests that cannot measure on-the-job impairment wouldn’t be legal in a society where individuals have more freedom than institutions. As you know, or should, the United States does not value an individual’s freedom. In fact, the US ranks nearly at the bottom for individual privacy only better than North Korea, China and Russia. Go ahead – Google “Individual privacy country ranking.” I have reservations about posting this publicly – although my privacy is compromised in this country, fortunately, I am not subject to overt repression (yet).
BTW – Google, Facebook, Netflix and most high-value consultancies don’t drug test. Personally, I will never again agree to such a test. I am somewhat embarrassed I want to work for a company that does test.
I strongly believe that sites like this should spend less time worried about hemp in comparison to alcohol, or the benefits of taxing the product. Simply put, if I can grow it in my back yard and I want to smoke it – no one on earth should have the power to legislate my actions.