FAQ: How to Pass a Drug Test

msmamabee said:
awsome thread dudes

im new here but i got a quick question and i would LOVE it if someone could gimme an idea if im clean or not. it would be awsome becuase at home drug tests are really expensive - im 5'3 -150 lbs and i havnt smoked in 21 days think im clean?
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if u havent smoked for 21 days you'll be clean for sure
have you been drinking water
 
Ive been on probation for quite some time now and i find the only method that works for me is drinking a lot of water the day before and the day of your drug test, i just keep filling up 20 oz bottles of water, from the moment i wake up, till i go to bed, always have a bottle of water with me. on the day of the test i usually chug a monster energy drink about an hour before going in because it colors your piss. My PO watches me in the bathroom while i pee, he doesn't look at my dink but hes just in there with his back turned to make sure im not pulling something outta my pockets or something, so i cant use a substitution/synthetic. But one time i drank a bunch of water and didn't drink a monster energy drink and he was like this looks pretty clear, if it comes back diluted your gonna have to come in every week for a drug test. but turns out i passed the test with no dilution. i usually can smoke about 2 weeks before a test. I am only 5'9'' and 140lbs with a STUPID FAST metabolism, im one of those kids who can eat a whole pizza and a chocolate cake and not gain an oz
 
I received a conditional job offer that required a "wizz quiz" a couple of weeks ago, and I got my results today, after a few weeks of waiting to learn what they were. I don't know why the test results took so long to receive, but I'm really not too worried about that now... Long story short - I PASSED!!!

The information on this site was very helpful, but I still felt like I needed help figuring out my exact plan of action would be (when to take certain things? how much of each thing to take? what HAD to be done, and what was OPTIONAL...)

I did buy an e-book that I found on-line, and it helped trememdously! The book was inexpensive (mine cost $15.00) and it really helped me to better understand the process involved in appropriately diluting my urine. I followed the instructions and everything worked out very well! I will note that the information in the e-book was very consistent with the information here; it just laid things out a little more precisely...

Thanks for all of the information that was posted here. Thanks, as well, to the person that wrote the e-book! It really allowed me to feel confident about what I was doing to make sure that I passed my "wizz quiz..."
 
So I passed my test on the 35th day.

I pretty much tested my urine using meditests everyday during the period.

As I noted before I have used for years, usually about a 1/4 a week.

I started passing non-forced diluted specimens on the 16th day.

I failed morning piss (1st piss of the day) up until my test date on the 35th day.

During the last week, I would test diluted and non-diluted samples and would pretty much pass after drinking 2 quarts or so of water, but would fail some non-forced diluted samples.

I started taking 2500 mg. of Creatine a day for the 3 days up until the test and a B complex vitamin from Trader Joes.

The night before the test, I drank a bunch of water before going to bed, a quart of water when I woke up during the night to piss. Passed that morning test, actually. I still went ahead and made a batch of Detox Tea, which is tea bags and B vitamin capsules and creatine. I had already purchased it a few months ago, so I decided to use it, though I think in the end it was a waste of money. I made the tea with 1/2 gatorade and 1/2 water. From research on various sites, including this one, it seemed like the electrolytes in the gatorade would help with the specific gravity test, if run. I tested myself before I went to the doctors office and stopped my piss short to ensure what I was testing at home (which passed) was the same I gave at the doctors office.

Funny thing is my Dr. said their usual protocol was a blood test (employer didn't specify method). Though, I definitely would have passed a blood test (longest detection period is 2 weeks). I insisted on the urine as I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste...lol I knew if it failed that I could still get the blood test done anyway as I could direct the results to the employer as I wanted (kind of stupid on the employer's part).

So I passed and am waiting for my hook to come through with some chronic so I can partaaay.

Moral of my experience is you can't rely on the 21 day study posted on Erowid or thinking you are definitely clean at 30 days if you are older (I am 35) and have smoked for a number of years. Buy 20 or so home tests at like $2 a test and figure out what amount of dilution you need, get some b vitamins, creatine, and gatorade and you will be good to go.

Cheers.
 
After a year of unemployment I have a job offer which pays well but I need to pass the piss test first.

They did this at a hospitals urgent care clinic. Very intimidating. I had to empty my pockets and I patted myself to show there was nothing there.

After unlocking a private bathroom I was told not to use the sink and she squirted blue into the toilet. I finally figured out that the reason was to prevent using toilet water for dilution.

I pulled out my bottle of QuickFix from its hiding place and the temp was right.
Fill the sample bottle, a little into the toilet for sound effects and done.

Now I wait! The job starts Tuesday morning but I asked my new super to let me know when HR totally green lights my hire as I have had false positives before, NOT!

I just want this to be over.

I'll update with the results.
 
I just finished my first week of my new job and nothing was ever said. Why would you mention negative results when they are expected?

So hats off to Quick fix synthetic. It passed a major So.Cal. hospital drug screening and I finally am back to work.

I hate these drug tests because a junkie could test clean after a short number of days but a harmless toker is boned for a month. This really pisses me off!

What a joke! Or is it an intelligence test to see if you are smart enough to research and outsmart the system?
 
ok i have a question i weigh 210 pounds and i was a heavy smoker but i quit about a week ago if i was to smoke say a bowl or two 14 days before my instant on site drug test could i pass if i drank alot of water in between, i tried the certo thing on a lab test, i failed so im not trying that again. i need an answer asap cuz i needs to get high high high...
 
Lightmaker said:
I just finished my first week of my new job and nothing was ever said. Why would you mention negative results when they are expected?

So hats off to Quick fix synthetic. It passed a major So.Cal. hospital drug screening and I finally am back to work.

I hate these drug tests because a junkie could test clean after a short number of days but a harmless toker is boned for a month. This really pisses me off!

What a joke! Or is it an intelligence test to see if you are smart enough to research and outsmart the system?
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Good to hear! :cheertwo: I'm on the job hunt and am running into all kinds of employers who drug test now. It sucks, especially since weed stays in our system for so long. I think I'm going to just quit for a couple of months and flush my system out with some of the products discussed in this thread. Great thread, btw!

I get the feeling I'm going to need to quit for 60 days to feel confident about testing clean. I'm a big gal, plus I've smoked pretty much daily for the last 20 years. :ganjamon: I'm not looking forward to quitting, but I think it's what I need to do.

Also, I'm about to get started on my first grow - so perhaps by harvest time, I will be in a new job and free to indulge in my own FREE smoke. :smokin: That's the plan anyway...
 
Ok, here's my situation:
I'm a heavy user, 5-6 times a week, once, sometimes twice a day. I applied for this job, was accepted, told I'd have to take a piss test. I told them I had to give my current employer two weeks notice and that I'd be in touch. Well, I stopped smoking and started fretting.
During those two weeks I got a lead on another job. It paid better and required no piss test. I still didn't smoke just in case I had to fall back on the first job.
Two days before I'm due to start the second job (4 days before I'm due to start the first and take the piss test) I figure the second job is in the bag. I smoke for two days straight.
I get a call the day I'm supposed to start the second job. NO GO!!!
I figure I'm screwed.
I bought an absolute detox from the head shop around the corner (by the way, only 22 bucks as opposed to 30, 40, even 50 online, why is that??).
I drank a ton of water and took the drink, waited two and half hours before going in to piss.
I weigh 160, have a very high metabolism, am 6 feet tall and have virtually no body fat.
I'm waiting for the results. Can't start until the test comes back.
Am I totally screwed?
Anyone?
 
i wouldnt say totally screwed....you might pass if u drank enough water...it also depends on how strict the place is on dilution....if u drank a detox drink that shoouullld cover u on ur creatine levels if it was a good one. I have a terrible metabalism and am overweight and i smoke everyday and 3 days before my test i stopped smoking drank a ton of water that day so that i was pissing clear didnt take creatine or any b vitamins for color and i passed! the place i tested at (labcorp) doesnt care about passing by dilution though. just remember no news is good news! i didnt hear back for about a week
 
ok fellas im prabably going to get tested soon or randomly... whatever, i want to get everything out of my system but without a detox or anything like that ..
are there any pills, liquids, ect., to get things out??
ive herd of something at wall-mart thats theres something you can get and it gets the job done, but not sure of the name. (if anyone knows what im talking at wall-mart)
any suggestions?? :bong:
:thankyou:
 
I smoked quite a bit of weed on Saturday. I have a drug test on Thursday. I am a big guy (5' 11" 300 lbs). I have started taking furosemide and will drink water like there is no tomorrow on the day of the test.

Am I screwed? Judging from the information on here, I think I might be.
 
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