Bignstrange's 4x4 800W COB LED Grow Tent - Promix - New Grower - Drop In!

bignstrange said:
Yea I don't miss those days :/ I'm all for working hard but there's more to life than busting my hump in the name of corporate greed lol

I've made too many people too much money in my career n I'm determined to find an alternative to doing that. I have PTSD from childhood, but my last corporate job actually did create a different kind of ptsd for me. It was just not a pretty year :/ needless to say i wont take shit from anyone anymore lol definitely learned a lot about the world over the last couple years :S glad to be where I am now, and looking forward to creating a different future. Dedicated to doing that now.

Lol I haven't actually had cable in over 5 years so I don't even see commercials for here XD

Hey notice how rambly that was? Can only mean one thing! Smok3 time! . . .
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I ramble when I have smokes. PTSD from childhood? That can't be good. But I've had a breakdown from workplace harassment and I still have anxiety due to that, so I can empathize with you to a degree.
 
flytier said:
I ramble when I have smokes. PTSD from childhood? That can't be good. But I've had a breakdown from workplace harassment and I still have anxiety due to that, so I can empathize with you to a degree.
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Yea I won't go into it too much but if you picture hell and then spending the first 10 or more years of your conscious life in it, you can basically get the picture. That's why my training is kind of an expression of what life has been to me, nd I relate so much to the plants because I feel like they're going through the same rigorous shaping and adapting. Work place harassment is not cool :/ I hate how prevalent it still is, just f off were here to work :S people are a pain :/

Lol idk I'm just a little crazy, n so are my babes, but I wouldn't have it any other way . all I know is if I didn't have cannabis as a medicine I would have been gone long ago, and many times over. And for that I am extremely grateful <3 this plant is literally a life line for me! I think thats why I'm so obsessively passionate about it

Lol still haven't smoked, gunna brush teeth then do that n go for a forest jaunt :3
 
bignstrange said:
Yea I won't go into it too much but if you picture hell and then spending the first 10 or more years of your conscious life in it, you can basically get the picture. That's why my training is kind of an expression of what life has been to me, nd I relate so much to the plants because I feel like they're going through the same rigorous shaping and adapting. Work place harassment is not cool :/ I hate how prevalent it still is, just f off were here to work :S people are a pain :/

Lol idk I'm just a little crazy, n so are my babes, but I wouldn't have it any other way . all I know is if I didn't have cannabis as a medicine I would have been gone long ago, and many times over. And for that I am extremely grateful <3 this plant is literally a life line for me! I think thats why I'm so obsessively passionate about it

Lol still haven't smoked, gunna brush teeth then do that n go for a forest jaunt :3
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I don't know, maybe I'm out of line for even saying this, but it sounds like you had problems involving religion. I'm a bit of a firebrand atheist myself and I got the hell out of the church (pun intended) in my teens.
 
flytier said:
I don't know, maybe I'm out of line for even saying this, but it sounds like you had problems involving religion. I'm a bit of a firebrand atheist myself and I got the hell out of the church (pun intended) in my teens.
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Lol among other things that definitely was a thing in my childhood. After I noticed how much of a scam the church was n how the pastors drive Porsches while we ate old bread for dinner I kinda lost any faith in organized religion.

Still spiritual but how can I ever believe in that mentality? And it's been happening for thousands of years lol I won't even get into it here because I don't want to offend anyone who believes in something. There is value to it as much as there are bad sides to it and I'll leave it there lol

Unfortunately that was the least of my concerns as a child :/ I could write a damn novel but I won't, I keep my head forward and my focus on bigger and better! My past doesn't make me, I make my future. We're here now n I have beautiful ladies n some good friends on here n that's all I need lol got my fam jam, a roof over my head, good food n my animals and plants; if that's not a recipe for happiness I don't know what is lol
 
bignstrange said:
Lol among other things that definitely was a thing in my childhood. After I noticed how much of a scam the church was n how the pastors drive Porsches while we ate old bread for dinner I kinda lost any faith in organized religion.

Still spiritual but how can I ever believe in that mentality? And it's been happening for thousands of years lol I won't even get into it here because I don't want to offend anyone who believes in something. There is value to it as much as there are bad sides to it and I'll leave it there lol

Unfortunately that was the least of my concerns as a child :/ I could write a damn novel but I won't, I keep my head forward and my focus on bigger and better! My past doesn't make me, I make my future. We're here now n I have beautiful ladies n some good friends on here n that's all I need lol got my fam jam, a roof over my head, good food n my animals and plants; if that's not a recipe for happiness I don't know what is lol
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Man, I admire and respect your outlook on life. Brain disorders run rampant in my family; I have depression/anxiety and epilepsy, although I've been seizure-free for 22 years. But I've gone for walks in thunderstorms in hopes of getting struck by lightning in the past. It's good to meet people on here with similar things who can empathize.

And yes, my babies are definitely something that relieves stress, and even just taking care of them does it.
 
flytier said:
Man, I admire and respect your outlook on life. Brain disorders run rampant in my family; I have depression/anxiety and epilepsy, although I've been seizure-free for 22 years. But I've gone for walks in thunderstorms in hopes of getting struck by lightning in the past. It's good to meet people on here with similar things who can empathize.

And yes, my babies are definitely something that relieves stress, and even just taking care of them does it.
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Its tough to deal with the brain stuff-mostly because it makes no sense why the feelings are the way they are, and there's no logic that can help sort those chemicals imbalances out. I admit I still live with a death wish but I think thats just basic human psychology at its deepest level.

Its tough man, when you put it like that I totally understand that mentality. Its really heartbreaking because we cant help feeling that way and it's just sad for our families and the ones that love us :( I hate how much it can take away from that. Luckily cannabis has some power to override some of that stuff, otherwise I'd be nothing but a shell and that's no fair to anyone. I just need some strong indica on hand at all times incase nothing else works. Last time I didn't have any meds I wound up in the psych ward :S never again

It's amazing you've been seizure free for that long! Is cannabis part of that or have you just been lucky? My cat has been suffering from chronic kidney disease totally unrelated but we've been giving her cbd salve with her food n she's done a 180 in terms of day to day life quality . magic :3

Yea these plants are great. I love how they slow my thinking down, and keep me focused on the long term. I think I'm gunna need to surround myself with them and become one with the cannabis gods lol I think growing will be a saviour during the cold dark winter months :/

Really nice to meet you man, I'm glad we can share here n share our experiences and journeys, weed related or otherwise. I find most people have some shit and that were almost all similar in one way or the other. Its just nice to know we're not alone some times :3

. . time for that joint I said I'd smoke 2 hours ago XD
 
bignstrange said:
Its tough to deal with the brain stuff-mostly because it makes no sense why the feelings are the way they are, and there's no logic that can help sort those chemicals imbalances out. I admit I still live with a death wish but I think thats just basic human psychology at its deepest level.

Its tough man, when you put it like that I totally understand that mentality. Its really heartbreaking because we cant help feeling that way and it's just sad for our families and the ones that love us :( I hate how much it can take away from that. Luckily cannabis has some power to override some of that stuff, otherwise I'd be nothing but a shell and that's no fair to anyone. I just need some strong indica on hand at all times incase nothing else works. Last time I didn't have any meds I wound up in the psych ward :S never again

It's amazing you've been seizure free for that long! Is cannabis part of that or have you just been lucky? My cat has been suffering from chronic kidney disease totally unrelated but we've been giving her cbd salve with her food n she's done a 180 in terms of day to day life quality . magic :3

Yea these plants are great. I love how they slow my thinking down, and keep me focused on the long term. I think I'm gunna need to surround myself with them and become one with the cannabis gods lol I think growing will be a saviour during the cold dark winter months :/

Really nice to meet you man, I'm glad we can share here n share our experiences and journeys, weed related or otherwise. I find most people have some shit and that were almost all similar in one way or the other. Its just nice to know we're not alone some times :3

. . time for that joint I said I'd smoke 2 hours ago XD
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It's always good to meet someone else with similar afflictions. When you talk to some people about depression their eyes will glaze over or tell you there's no such thing - I've had both.

I've done a WHOLE lot of my own independent studying on psych - wish I coulda did a few courses in it when I got my science degree. It kind of gave me quite a bit of insight into myself. But when you read that stuff, you have to be careful not to self-diagnose; it's not a good thing to read if you're a hypochondriac - not a joke.

It's not the weed that keeps me seizure-free, but diligent use of and respect for my prescribed meds. I got the boot from the Air Force because of it and it's prevented me from doing things I would have liked to have done. But whaddaya do, right? Pull up your pants and get on with life.
 
I love it when your journal gets deep Big, always showcases that big awesome heart of yours :circle-of-love:
hope you're having an awesome Sunday homie, still got some nice headband if you wanna toke ;)
 
MadHatterJack said:
I so relate to both of you. I don't feel like sharing but I'll just say we have a shit load in common.
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You don't need to share; I'm positive there's lots of us on here. One thing I don't do is judge others, and I vehemently disapprove of anyone that does it. That's one of my factors with social anxiety.
 
I never know what to expect from this journal, some new great lighting product... Or deep insight into the human mind and how cannabis has helped so many afflicted people.. Keep Fighting The Good Fight Y'all!
 
flytier said:
You don't need to share; I'm positive there's lots of us on here. One thing I don't do is judge others, and I vehemently disapprove of anyone that does it. That's one of my factors with social anxiety.
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Oh man me too. I think those people are really weak minded. Strong people go around making people feel good about themselves.
 
MadHatterJack said:
Oh man me too. I think those people are really weak minded. Strong people go around making people feel good about themselves.
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I think in a lot of cases it's insecurity; people think that making others look bad takes the spotlight off themselves. Nope, it shines on them even brighter.
 
VerdeTortuga said:
I never know what to expect from this journal, some new great lighting product... Or deep insight into the human mind and how cannabis has helped so many afflicted people.. Keep Fighting The Good Fight Y'all!
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S'all you can do.
 
flytier said:
It's always good to meet someone else with similar afflictions. When you talk to some people about depression their eyes will glaze over or tell you there's no such thing - I've had both.

I've done a WHOLE lot of my own independent studying on psych - wish I coulda did a few courses in it when I got my science degree. It kind of gave me quite a bit of insight into myself. But when you read that stuff, you have to be careful not to self-diagnose; it's not a good thing to read if you're a hypochondriac - not a joke.

It's not the weed that keeps me seizure-free, but diligent use of and respect for my prescribed meds. I got the boot from the Air Force because of it and it's prevented me from doing things I would have liked to have done. But whaddaya do, right? Pull up your pants and get on with life.
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Depression would be impossible to grasp to anyone who hasn't been paralyzed by nothing before. Its just crippling some times. I don't understand it so I never expect others too, usually it just ends up being hushed to avoid unnecessary duress to my loved ones you know?

It makes work really hard though, which is why I'm gunna try to work for myself and grow for patients who need clean, high quality bud and a good selection of strains, that have been raised with the care you would give your own plants. I'm another mountain dope growing hippy now lol I can handle that for sure.

Yea I definitely had to train myself to not be hypo, over the years it's faded, mostly out of denial for health problems I do have XD oh well lol psych is super cool though, I did a college course when I was in highschool still n it was one of the only classes I actually went to!

Boo meds are brutal :/ I know a lot of people who use cannabis for epilepsy, but if it's working idk hard to say try something new lol better to be healthy . hope your nights been good my friend! Thanks for chatting with me all morning :3 never expected this kind of chat in my journal lol
 
hortishorti said:
I love it when your journal gets deep Big, always showcases that big awesome heart of yours :circle-of-love:
hope you're having an awesome Sunday homie, still got some nice headband if you wanna toke ;)
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Aww thanks Shorti <3 I've always been curious about the size of my internal organs XD

Hope your having a great Sunday . I'd love a hit of that headband! Coming to think of hit I think when I visited my grandparents in the city they had some tasty as hell headband ! They always have the best weed XD

Let's get this sesh goin! :3 I'll bust out some blue cheese :blunt:
 
MadHatterJack said:
I so relate to both of you. I don't feel like sharing but I'll just say we have a shit load in common.
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Its good man, it adds to our strength as a community and culture when we can overcome these things as a unit. Definitely no pressure to share, just know where we are if you ever need us! . . .
flytier said:
You don't need to share; I'm positive there's lots of us on here. One thing I don't do is judge others, and I vehemently disapprove of anyone that does it. That's one of my factors with social anxiety.
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I totally agree, I try my best to reserve judgement until some reaaaalll stupid shit happens XD

Even then I rarely hold anything against anyone, who has time for that shit?
 
VerdeTortuga said:
I never know what to expect from this journal, some new great lighting product... Or deep insight into the human mind and how cannabis has helped so many afflicted people.. Keep Fighting The Good Fight Y'all!
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I never knew to expect this either :0

One love . :circle-of-love:
 
flytier said:
Catch ya tomorrow man. Sometimes it's good to get stuff off your chest.
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Get a good sleep buddy! We will see you in the am :3 cheers man!.
 
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