Granny, finally got to the last post. I feel for your friend, depression is a son of a bitch, I had gone thru something like that when I lost my father... Still drink but not to get drunk, often...
Hey you hear about that mix up with the two ladies at the up in CT? Well one of those ladies is the sister of "Grandpa" (my wifes grandpa) We lost him to cancer last summer and now she's gone too.
She never wanted to be seen after she died, she was very adamant about that. But she was on display for all to see at someone else's viewing...
She past on Christmas eve, that's why I bring it up. It's kinda funny but it really hurt both families. Hope your friend pulls out of his funk OK and maybe go to the Medical MJ for his troubles instead. I swear that it got me out of my funk and even pulled me out of drug abuse. I used to be a very naughty boy.
Your journal brings out the best in people and that is how it should be out in the world too. Take care Granny and Love you too!
siscokid!!! Hi you naughty boy!!!! I hope you are VERY PROUD of getting past other drug problems - ME TOO. The harder drugs were also in my naughty past and we had great access to them - but I didn't use to great excess cuz I saw what it did to so many of our friends, I learned what often went into the making of those drugs, and the police were always after busts for the harder drugs before mj busts. We have a few past acquaintances who now are completely spastic due to their past drug use - guess that's what Drano will do to your neuro system. Others went to prison - some once, some repeatedly and are still there. None of which did we want for our future.
Siscokid... I wantcha to know I think about YOU more than anyone else in my 420 family! Wanna know why??? LOL It's cuz you put "I got stoned and I missed it" into my journal and now it is the song that runs thru my head almost constantly when I am working with my girls! Thank you so much for that cuz it's a FUN song to have stuck in my head!!! Definitely my theme song since having so many fantastic strains to smoke. I've missed ya honey!!! I've missed everyone SO MUCH!!!!
I didn't hear about the two ladies in CT and I tried to do a search, but came up with nothing. ???? Now ya gotta tell me the story!!! I am so sorry for your loss tho.
CocoJoe!!! Hi honey!!! It is so GREAT to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed ya and hope all is going well for you!!!
And welcome to my new 420 family members!!! Thank you so much for yer wonderful comments!!!
HealingKronic
Nicademus and
Ol Hippy (luv yer name - ya ought ta fit right in here!!!)
As for our friend... thank you all so much for caring!!! Things changed very quickly here but I hadn't had time to update about it. I talked to our friend about his drinking cuz I am a recovery alcoholic (over 10 years sobriety) and he was non-stop drinking from the time he got off work on and he was living in our home. I had to wake him up early in the morning after a very late night of drinking to even discuss it with him when he wasn't drinkin' his brew. He agreed he had a problem and agreed to visit with someone from AA at my last update (*I think*).
Well... the AA fella got here before our friend... then our friend arrived - fresh off of work and he made it here for the FIRST time without drinking before he got here. He said hello to the AA fella and THEN WENT DIRECTLY TO THE GARAGE TO GET A BEER FROM HIS MANY 12 PACKS HE HAD OUT THERE. I can tell you this did not sit well with me and I let him know it. When he walked back in with his beer I simply told him that he had every right to open and drink that beer but if he did that he better plan on going home to stay cuz (as I had discussed with him the day before) I can NOT live with someone who is drinking constantly.
He held the beer in his hand for a bit. His hands were shaking severely - a sure sign of his physical need for the booze. Anyway, the meeting didn't take long cuz my next question was, "Do YOU think you have a drinking problem?" and basically he said "No. I only drink beer and don't ever drink the hard stuff and I have always kept my jobs so I don't think it's a problem. I can go without any time I want."
I said that if he wondered if he had a drinking problem the easiest way to figure it out is to try NOT drinking for a few days and I asked him when the last time he went one day without drinking was. He said he has gone a few days without drinking many times - yet couldn't remember when the last time he did that was. Doesn't matter cuz we know it has been a couple DECADES since he has gone a day without and we know he drinks and drives EVERY day and he has only been lucky not to have gotten a DUI or to have gotten in an accident.
Anyways... much more conversation with the AA fella explaining how many alcoholics don't drink hard liquor and many alcoholics maintain their jobs... but it really didn't matter cuz anyone who is a recovering alcoholic knows... The FIRST step has got to be the HE feels he has a drinking problem. The day before he was ready to
try the next day (but drank that day cuz it would be his last). Bottom line, HE is the only one who can change HIS path. All we can do is try to help. But I will not sit by and enable him - especially when this is MY home.
For me, I can NOT live with someone who is drinking constantly which then puts him into a depressive state of obsessing with non-stop bitching about how everything is everyone else's fault. It's "that bitch of a daughter of ours" that made his wife leave him (not the constant bitching about what SHE does wrong on a daily basis, or her numerous black eyes over the years of which the last has left him with a serious misdemeanor charge OR the repeated death threats against her with a gun that he is being charged a felony for) ... He denies all the charges (but we know in our hearts that there ARE valid charges here) and he gets drunk and says things like "I should just find her and shoot that bitch" in reference to his wife - something we keep telling his he should NOT be saying out loud (even if it is empty threats) considering some of his charges.
But what I REALLY couldn't take was his bitchin' about his wife getting her 4th DUI. He would rant and rave about how stupid she was to continue getting behind the wheel and how he told her that over and over and over (I can tell you I WANTED A DIVORCE FROM HIM AFTER LISTENING TO THIS FOR A MONTH!). I repeatedly said it was by "luck" alone that I did not get a DUI when I was drinking (I put a number of vehicles in ditches) and that maybe he was pretty lucky too. But I couldn't get across to him that he drank and drove many many many more times than his wife did and he was just lucky to not get caught. He still continued to just go on and on about HER and what SHE did wrong. As a recovering alcoholic, I see he is doing as I did... blaming everyone else (and taking THEIR inventory instead of HIS OWN) and not taking any responsibility for himself. Been there.
Anyways... we were unable to have even 30 seconds of silence with him around (couldn't watch TV or relax after our work day was over) cuz he just kept bitchin' and bitchin'. Until he realizes HE is/was even the tiniest part of the problem, he will stay dwelling in his unhappiness.
So... he went home that evening when the AA fella left. And yes, he waited a bit and then cracked his brewsky open during the conversation and sucked it down within 3 minutes (I timed it but didn't say anything) and off for another...
I KNOW he has an addiction problem AND NEEDS HELP and that the alcohol is what is playing a very big part in his life problems. I left the door open and told him even if he is drinking - if he needs us to CALL and we will be there, but that I cannot live with someone who is actively drinking on a daily basis. That is what "I" need for my own sobriety to stay in tact.
We have both called him a number of times and will continue to do so. He has taken to staying most nights with his brother who drinks 2 cases of brewsky a day... I figure this will either help him reach his own personal bottom and be ready for help down the road... or... well... the or is not so good so I'll just pray for the first. I pray he doesn't throw away everything he has worked so hard for over the years. And for all of you, please just send more prayers cuz this fella needs it!!!
AND YES - REEFER USED TO CALM THIS FRIEND!!!! I truly wish medical MJ was an option for him (and me!). Years ago his wife used to purchase extra for him and hide it away just so she could get it out when he was getting outta control. And I smoked with him twice while he was here - both times he calmed, laughed, visited about OTHER subjects, and EVEN WATCHED a bit of TV without bitchin'!!! But... his job requires random drug tests and he is already in a world of legal problems right now, so he and hubby agreed this is not something he needs trouble with right now.
So our world has returned to normal (quiet unless family is here!) and I am good with this... but still very worried about our friend. I see he is in for a lot more troubles if he keeps drinking in excess... but as any recovering alcoholic also knows, the key is within HIM, not within me for him. My hubby tried to fix me for years... but "I" was the only one who could fix my own alcoholic problem. Eventually we BOTH figured this out! LOL
We do know this friend respects us and there had to be a reason he called us. My hubby has not drank for over 20 years and this friend knows how extremely depressed (alcohol is a depressant!), suicidal, and ... well, just stupid I was before I got sober. So he knew he was calling friends who have been to the bottom and have recovered their lives by NOT drinking alcohol. We will be here if he reaches out in the future.
Sorry to go on so long in here about AA and alcohol!!! I WISH I was a drinker who could just drink occasionally... and who could drink without having to close the bar. But I am not. I AM an alcoholic. I feel horribly bad for putting my foot down with this friend - but I also know to keep allowing him to drink to his hearts content and use us and our home as a safe haven is helping him to continue on his destructive path. My prayers will continue to be with him.
And that's why I wish they would legalize mj!!!! My goodness... the lives that alcohol ruins. MJ calms and does not leave one out of control no matter how much ya partake!!! And I been partakin' when I can!!! Today is a day to partake for me!!!
I will be back either this afternoon or tomorrow morning to give a proper update!!! I have all week off - but not really. I am working on end of the year bookwork, W2's, 1099's, preparing for sales for our business (get ads ready and figure out sale items), and mucho more for all our businesses... but I will also be taking time this week to give some better updates and spend time in here too - I'VE MISSED MY 420 FAMILY!!!
Love to all!!!