Stoned Story

[Nerdy Vicy]

Dude....the other day I got so stoned that I wrote part of a story called "Joey's Adventures With George The Imaginary Turtle". I'm actually quite suprised at how it turned out, pretty fuckin hilarious. I'm thinking of maybe posting it.......but who would want to read it????

 

[sQuirly]

i like turtles leme read

 

[Nerdy Vicy]

You asked for it......

Joey's Adventures with George the Imaginary Turtle
BY Vicy
INTRO
Joey was an ordinary guy, about as ordinary and dull as any one person could get. Each day exactly as the last. Yes, life was boring for Joey...that is until the day he met George, the imaginary turtle; the crazy, sick minded, drug and alcohol addicted friend that would change Joey's dull, boring life forever.
Chapter 1: TURTLE
"Is it a SFOON or a SPORK?", Joey asked himself as he sat all alone in his tiny apartment staring hopelessly at the oddly shaped eating utensil in his hand. He often found himself this way, alone and talking to himself, for other than the scrawny little goldfish in the bowl beside his television, he rarely had anyone to talk to. This had never bothered Joey before, since he preferred having only the company of his goldfish, but today was different. Today he had the strange urge to stray away from his usual routine of work and school to do something exciting, something he ordinarily would not do. He had quickly disreguarded this feeling when he settled on figuring out a better name for a spork. Now, that urge was back. Joey debated silently for a moment, and finally turning to his fish he stupidly asked, "Do you think maybe I should go for a walk?" As if waiting for some sort of reply from the fish, he watched as it swam around it's bowl and stared blankly at him.
At that moment, Joey thought of what it might be like to be a goldfish. Destined to spend every day of it's short life trapped in a bowl no bigger than Joey's own head, only to die and be flushed down a toilet into a sewer somewhere. Did the little creature have any idea what was in the world outside of it's bowl? The next thing that came to mind, which Joey said aloud to no one in particular as he slipped on his jacket and walked out into the hallway of his apartment building, "Maybe I should get a bigger tank."
As Joey walked down the street near the park, he watched all of the people. Children playing, old men walking dogs, and couples making out under trees. He was still thinking about his goldfish back home, thinking about how much the helpless little creatures life must suck, which then got him thinking about his own life. Not that his life really 'sucked'. He had a good paying job and was doing well in school, he just knew it was all too boring. For Joey, college was supposed to be about having fun and making friends. So far he had not made a single friend, due mostly to the simple fact that he had not made an effort to talk to anyone. He had convinced himself upon arriving here that he had nothing in common with the people on campus.
Joey snapped quickly out of thought at the sound of a woman yelling, "Watch out!" As Joey turned his head, he had only seen the quick flash of a golfball coming his way, and then......BLACK. He was unconscious.
Ten minutes later, Joey awoke to a woman and an older looking man hovering over him. "Knocked you out cold, sorry about that", said the old man. He explained to Joey that he had been practicing his golf swing and hadn't seen Joey walking by. "Thanks" Joey groaned, the old man helping him up off of the ground. "Quite a knot ya got there on yer noggin. Ya think you'll be alright?" " Yeah, I'll be fine", Joey told the man as he walked away.
On his walk home, Joey kept getting the slight feeling that he might faint. Rubbing the huge lump on his head, he finally made it home. He quickly walked, saying hello to his fish on his way to the kitchen. Just as he opened the freezer to get ice for his head, he blacked out, coming out of it quickly as he steadied himself against the counter. His eyes focused and wandered toward his feet. He almost couldn't believe what he saw.
Standing, on two legs nonetheless, was a turtle. A turtle that seemed to be looking up at him while casually leaning against Joey's shoe.
Joey rubbed his eyes, but the image of the turtle at his feet remained. Closing his eyes, thinking he had to be imagining it, he suddenly heard "Whats up dude, I'm George". Had those words really come from the turtle? Maybe I should see a doctor, he thought. "Well, are you just gonna stand there stupid, or can you speak?" The turtle named George spoke again. Shocked, Joey opened his mouth and managed to finally spit it out, "My name is Joey", he told the turtle, which he thought obviously must be a hallucination from the golfball incident earlier. "Am I hallucinating" Joey said aloud "I am hallucinating."
"Ha" laughed George "If you really wanna hallicinate, you outta try these shrooms I got last week. Guaranteed to keep you trippin for at least eight hours"
Was George the imaginary turtle talking about drugs? Joey thought silently.
"So, ya got any beer or what?" George asked as he walked over to the chair in the corner of Joey's apartment and jumped up onto it.
"Uh, no I don't have any beer" said Joey with a hint of curiosity. This turtle speaking of drugs and alcohol, the turtle named George, could he be real? Joey thought to himself again. "Sucks you don't have any beer. So how about those shrooms?" said George as he pulled a baggy of what looked like dried mushrooms from his shell. " I have never done drugs" said Joey. George stared at him with a disgusted look on his face "Never done drugs. What kind of college kid has never done drugs?" George said, "What are you, a pussy? You must have a pretty boring life"
At those words, Joey thought back to earlier that day when that same thing had been on his mind. Boring life, he thought again.
"What am I supposed to do?" Joey asked the turtle. "Well, there are many different ways to take shrooms. In tea, by lacing it into marijuana" Marijuana,isn't that what the hippies at school talked about, thought Joey "but, the best way is just eatin them" George went on as he waved a few of the dried mushrooms, or shrooms as he had called them, at Joey.
Joey grabbed them and wondered, what is the worst that could happen, they're only mushrooms.
Staring at the shrooms in his hand, he asked George, "All I do is eat them?"
"Yeah" said George "Just be sure to chew them up real good before you swallow" he explained as he popped a few of them into his own mouth.
Joey chewed up his shrooms just as George had said, and swallowed. George and Joey sat waiting, both of the staring at each other, but what were they waiting for? Since Joey had never done any kind of drugs before, he had no idea what to expect. All he knew at that moment was that the shrooms George had given him had had a nasty taste to them.
Suddenly, Joey felt as if every part of his body had gotten much heavier. His vision changed, everything looked as though it was further away. Trying to stand, he nearly fell, but caught himself. Joey looked over at George, who seemed to have a strange blissful look on his face, "Whats going on?" Joey asked George. "Oh, your trippin" George told Joey. "No, I'm still standing" Joey said stupidly, while listening to his own voice, which seemed now to have changed to a weird deep tone he had never heard before. "No, not TRIPPING...Trippin'. Your feelin the shrooms now, and you should be. It's your first time and I gave you a little over five grams." said George lazily as he looked around the room. "Just relax" said the imaginary turtle.
Joey sat back down on the couch next to the chair George had settled in. Looking at his fish bowl, he saw the water was changing colors. He then noticed that everything in the room looked as though it as a mass of swirling colors. So many beautiful colors, they seemed to daze him. After hours of silence and pretty colors, Joey passed out.


TO BE CONTINUED............