Share your jokes here

[inherimagedometrix]

Teacher says to her class " when i point u out i want u to stand up and say a sentence with the word INPROPER in it " teacher points to a rich girl so she stands up n says "My daddy said he was going to use a spade instead of a shovel , that was INPROPER " Very good says the teacher then points to a girl from a council estate she stands and says" last nite when me fella bent me over and i felt his balls hitting the inside of me leg i knew he was IN PROPER.

I've started the thread please add to it peace

 

[Phytoplankton]

Fellow walks into the Vet with his pet duck, he tells the vet "something is wrong with the duck" The vet checks the duck and says. "sorry to tell you, but your duck is dead". The man says "he can't be doc, isn't there some thing you can do? The vet says "OK" and leaves the room, and returns a minute later with a cat, he sets the cat down next to the duck, and the cat just stares at it, the vet picks up the cat and leaves, then returns with a Labrador retriever, he walks the dog around the duck a couple times and leaves. A few minutes later he returns and says, " owner says "$250, for what?" The vet says "it would of only been $50, but I had to charge you for the Catscan and the Lab work!"

 

[Makeminefullgrown]

How do get a fat chick into bed??
Answer: piece of cake.

 

[Phytoplankton]

Fellow walks into the Vet with his pet duck, he tells the vet "something is wrong with the duck" The vet checks the duck and says. "sorry to tell you, but your duck is dead". The man says "he can't be doc, isn't there some thing you can do? The vet says "OK" and leaves the room, and returns a minute later with a cat, he sets the cat down next to the duck, and the cat just stares at it, the vet picks up the cat and leaves, then returns with a Labrador retriever, he walks the dog around the duck a couple times and leaves. A few minutes later he returns and says, " owner says "$250, for what?" The vet says "it would have only been $50, but I had to charge you for the Catscan and the Lab work!"

Crap, I hate auto correct: when the vet returns the last time, the owner asks what do I owe you, vet says $250, owner says $250 for what?…………….