Need to Provide Clean Urine by Saturday 02/16/13

[haldy29]

Okay... So i am your every day stoner. Last time I smoked was yesterday, which was Wednesday 02/13/13. I have to take a drug test (urine) this Saturday. The location I have to give the drug test at is technically a branch of a hospital. (The job is not for a hospital position, by the way.) Anyway, I need to know how I can magically pass this drug test so marijuana does not show up. I was reading about Certo... My cousin told me about this "URinLuck" website where you can order synthetic urine and it comes with a hand-warmer.. I don't think I have enough time to order it online and have it here by Saturday. Also, I don't know if the location tests for synthetic urine or not. I also do not know if they watch you pee or not. (I've considered taking someone's clean urine, a female, with a hand warmer around the bottle.) A lot of people I know had to go to the same location for their pre-employment drug tests and they did not watch them pee. I also was considering buying a detox-flush drink or whatever but I have no idea if they check to see if a drink was used to cover it up. I would just like some suggestions and information from people where their methods have actually worked. I would really appreciate any insight, information, past experiences, etc... I wasn't expecting to take a drug test for this job. Thank you!

~Lauren

 

[Weed420]

Only 2 options in your case. Sun with synthetic urine or someone else's urine that you ABSOLUTELY KNOW is clean of any drugs.
Try the local smoke shops and even adult sex toy stores. I buy mine at a local smoke shop for $18. They will not watch you pee unless they have reasonable suspicion that you're cheating. Detox kits sometimes work for light smokers but they won't work for heavy smokers.Just practice keeping the temp in range. With synthetic urine you can test with it all you want and not hurt it. if you decide to use someone else's urine then you will need to practice with water to keep the temp right.
If you get into the lab and the pour the urine into the collection cup and its a little high then just blow on it a little bit till it reads 98. If its reading a little low just rub your thumb against your clothes for a couple of seconds and then hold it against the temp strip for a couple seconds. When the strip reads 98-99 step out of the room and hand it to the tech.

 

[haldy29]

thank you very much… so you're saying i should go with synthetic urine from a smoke shop or adult sex toy place? what do i ask for when i go in there? "hello, do you have synthetic urine?" and also, can they test it to see if that the sample is synthetic?

 

[noptest]

Listen to weed420, honey. there's no way you're gonna pass with your own urine by Saturday, no matter what kinds of guarantee the detox drinks and pills give. Most head shops, and in my area even weight-lifting/fitness shops, will carry something like synthetics. Good luck, wish I had more advice, but that's a tight deadline

 

[haldy29]

Only 2 options in your case. Sun with synthetic urine or someone else's urine that you ABSOLUTELY KNOW is clean of any drugs.
Try the local smoke shops and even adult sex toy stores. I buy mine at a local smoke shop for $18. They will not watch you pee unless they have reasonable suspicion that you're cheating. Detox kits sometimes work for light smokers but they won't work for heavy smokers.Just practice keeping the temp in range. With synthetic urine you can test with it all you want and not hurt it. if you decide to use someone else's urine then you will need to practice with water to keep the temp right.
If you get into the lab and the pour the urine into the collection cup and its a little high then just blow on it a little bit till it reads 98. If its reading a little low just rub your thumb against your clothes for a couple of seconds and then hold it against the temp strip for a couple seconds. When the strip reads 98-99 step out of the room and hand it to the tech.

*update* i used a pregnant friend's urine and taped it to my lower abdoment in between by boy shorts and my skin. i wore one of those thermacare patches, with adhesive only on the sides, and i stuck the pill bottle she put the urine in between my skin and the thermacare wrap.. i got there, filled out some paper work, and they didn't watch me (thank you, baby Jesus) and i dumped her urine in the sample fo rthem and she did the test in front of me and everything came up negative. Thank you tho for everyone's advice.

 

[Weed420]

*update* i used a pregnant friend's urine and taped it to my lower abdoment in between by boy shorts and my skin. i wore one of those thermacare patches, with adhesive only on the sides, and i stuck the pill bottle she put the urine in between my skin and the thermacare wrap.. i got there, filled out some paper work, and they didn't watch me (thank you, baby Jesus) and i dumped her urine in the sample fo rthem and she did the test in front of me and everything came up negative. Thank you tho for everyone's advice.

Good job. You must have got the temp in range.

 

[EraBud]

would have been terrible if they for some reason found you to be pregnant, sorry this popped into my head and I busted out in laughter

 

[Weed420]

would have been terrible if they for some reason found you to be pregnant, sorry this popped into my head and I busted out in laughter

By law they can't test for that without your signed approval.