Need advice and pointers!

[mlat]

Hey all, I'm new here and need help and advice from some professionals.
I am on probation and have been for the past 5 years. Recently i caved and started smoking weed once a month in the beginning of the month for a few days and detoxing the rest of the month. This month, i started late and started smoking on the 11th (Monday). I was a little over zealous because it was my first time smoking wax. I took 3 dabs on Monday, 2 dabs on Tuesday (didn't smoke Wednesday or Thursday), took 2 dabs on Friday and 3 hits off of a bowl on Saturday (the 16th). So total of 7 dabs and three hits off of a bowl. I have to check in on June 1st. If i drink NOTHING but coffee and water for the next 14 days should I be clean? I'm est. 140 pounds and 5'7''. HELP!

 

[Kushage]

Hey all, I'm new here and need help and advice from some professionals.
I am on probation and have been for the past 5 years. Recently i caved and started smoking weed once a month in the beginning of the month for a few days and detoxing the rest of the month. This month, i started late and started smoking on the 11th (Monday). I was a little over zealous because it was my first time smoking wax. I took 3 dabs on Monday, 2 dabs on Tuesday (didn't smoke Wednesday or Thursday), took 2 dabs on Friday and 3 hits off of a bowl on Saturday (the 16th). So total of 7 dabs and three hits off of a bowl. I have to check in on June 1st. If i drink NOTHING but coffee and water for the next 14 days should I be clean? I'm est. 140 pounds and 5'7''. HELP!

Honestly I dont know what to say to that, but when you take your piss test when on probation do they stand right next to you? If possible you can use synthetic urine if they are not right behind you when you're takin a piss.....

 

[Hexatious]

Get a small container that a single finger can fit in, pour bleach inside the container, dip your finger in the bleach for half a minute to a minute, urinate on your finger into the cup. This is how I passed a drug test.

 

[Weed420]

Bleach will show up on the adultery tests.
Drinking tons of fluids days before the test won't flush cannabis out of your system. Cannabis is not water soluble. Your best bet is to use dilution the morning of the test.
Nothing cleans your system of thc metabolites. They are the only drug that is not water soluble. Thc heads directly to your fat cells and stays there till you either burn them off or they die naturally in about a month depending on your metabolism rate.

Exercise and stay hydrated
Eat a high fiber diet with possibly adding some metamucil to help keep the bowels moving.
3 days before the test switch to a red meat high fat diet and quit exercising
Drink 36 ounces of gatorade the morning of the test
Pee 3 or 4 times before the test
When taking the test
Pee a little in the toilet first
Pee 2 ounces in the collection cup
Pee the rest in the toilet.

The reasons.
80% of your thc metabolites are removed through your stool. If the stool isn't evacuated the thc metabolites gets reabsorbed through your intestines and heads back to fat cells again. When you change to a red meat high fat diet it does 2 things. It raises your creatine levels to allow for more dillution so that you don't fail the test. The fat tells the body to start saving fat cells again for a few days so that the thc metabolites don't enter the kidneys and liver and pass into the urine.

Midstream pee
The first and last of your pee is always the dirtiest. So use your midstream urine for the collection cup