Hichhiker
New Member
I'm an ammature writer an poet. I used to be pretty good for a while there, but had my spirit broken two years back and have only recently started writing again. I'ma post my stuff here, critques are welcome, but please no bashing.
The Apocalypse
Darkness had streaked across the sky as I turned off the road.
I made my way towards the Wendy's, the Petco strip mall already closed.
As I looped around the drive through I began to notice what was happening.
First is was Macys the lights going dim in the distance. I pushed in the cigg lighter.
Next is was Office Max, the lights flicking out as I pulled into a parking space.
For a moment I just sat there, letting the car run and the smell of chicken fill my nose.
As I shut off the car the lights in the car dealership switched off one by one.
I realized what was happening now and a grin crossed my face.
All at once Staples and ToysRus winked out while the French frys slid down my throat.
In the dieing light of a Key Bank I started the car once more, rolling the windows down.
Letting the car die off again the lighter popped and I slowly took it in my hand.
The joint was just what I needed as even the Wendy's faded away.
Smoke and a sandwich, the Long Horn staff makes for their cars.
Finally it happens, it all comes crashing down around me as the parking lots go black.
In the end only two things remain to stand against the night.
The warm glow of a red hot cherry, and a Tim Horton's.
All was dark and quite, I could only smile as the smoke curled off into nothingness.
The Apocalypse
Darkness had streaked across the sky as I turned off the road.
I made my way towards the Wendy's, the Petco strip mall already closed.
As I looped around the drive through I began to notice what was happening.
First is was Macys the lights going dim in the distance. I pushed in the cigg lighter.
Next is was Office Max, the lights flicking out as I pulled into a parking space.
For a moment I just sat there, letting the car run and the smell of chicken fill my nose.
As I shut off the car the lights in the car dealership switched off one by one.
I realized what was happening now and a grin crossed my face.
All at once Staples and ToysRus winked out while the French frys slid down my throat.
In the dieing light of a Key Bank I started the car once more, rolling the windows down.
Letting the car die off again the lighter popped and I slowly took it in my hand.
The joint was just what I needed as even the Wendy's faded away.
Smoke and a sandwich, the Long Horn staff makes for their cars.
Finally it happens, it all comes crashing down around me as the parking lots go black.
In the end only two things remain to stand against the night.
The warm glow of a red hot cherry, and a Tim Horton's.
All was dark and quite, I could only smile as the smoke curled off into nothingness.
