Hi! I hesitate to answer because I'm new at this and, also, because Spart will be along soon...BUT I will give it a shot: I just blew a cfl , too. What I have read is 100w (equivalent watts for cfl, eh?) per plant is good, 150w per plant is near perfect and 200 w per plant is at the high end. In that range is probably good.
Bigger pots grow bigger pot.
That big guy looks to me like he could stand defol'd but wait for Spart to say. Is it in flower? A correct toping should halt growth above the node. I think you fimmed. It's okay to let it go that way or you can try retopping it. There are several tutorials on topping and fimming.
Looking good, tho! Sounds like you have good equipment and good basic knowledge!. And you are in the right place to get great coaching》》》Spart! and also cheering and commiseration with other noobs like me!