FAQ: How to Pass a Drug Test

kbtheone said:
OK so i read this and i ask my self b12 works the night before? do you smoke a lot and like very good stuff like expensive strands? I have to pass a piss test and fast this forum is a little hard to follow. I just wanna get it out my system under two weeks and I'm a chronic smoker like a gram a day at the least. for a very long time I now have kids and want them bad please tell me how to change my ways and pass a piss test for sure. I wanna be in my kids life i just smoke. I don't smoke around my kids just when i have only been getting them every other weekend i get depressed and smoke to keep happy now im fighting to get them every other week for a full week and i don't wanna mess this up i payed a lawyer 2500 just so i could fight for my babies. i assume you some of you live in states were recreational use is ok by law but my state isn't so friendly.
Click to expand...

Thanks for all these comments everyone! I'm sorry I ignored them, I didn't notice a notification until today. First of all: It is B-2 (Riboflavin) NOT B-12 that will "color" your urine the right tint of yellow. I'm going to add to my blog page, with video and photos of the effects of dilution without riboflavin. And also get more accurate about the time and amount regarding the fluids needed to pass the test, but I see a post here that mentions a half gallon, and that is accurate. If you smoke a lot, or a little, it doesn't really matter. You are masking your urine by diluting it. Remember, this home made remedy DOES NOT flush it out of your system permanently. You will go right back to failing the next day when you urine (especially first morning pee) is undiluted again. Good luck with your relationship with your children. It's a shame that our system allows kids to be with alcoholic, pervert abusers on three kinds of prescription mood enhancers, yet if you use marijuana you're an unfit parent. I've experienced "parental abandonment" it is painful to be kept from your children. I prayed for you before I wrote this reply. God bless you!
 
I've had the pleasure of writing all about catheters (the things a starving artist will do for money) so, although I'm no medical expert, I can tell you that whether you urethra is lined with latex, or not, will have no effect on the urine being tested. To pass a urinalysis, you need to dilute your urine. However, you have to mask the fact that your urine is diluted by adding color and creatine.
 
I am a heavy smoker and have been for at least 5 years. I normally smoke 6-7 blunts a day and probably 8-10 on weekends. I am overweight (270 lbs) and 5'6". My metoblism is slow and you would think I would be skinny esp since I don't eat much. For the past few months I have been unemployed and barely have an appetite to eat so smoking is a must just to take a bite of anything! I will go thru the entire day of eating nothing and then force myself to eat a snicker @ 3:ooam. My bff always laugh because he can't relate. My doc told me I need to eat and be more active to lose weight. I'm not active at all! I just watch TV and sleep most of the time but now I got to get back to work. I needed a few months to chill b/c I have been working two jobs for years. I'm a pessimist so my mind is constantly on the go (Virgo in me), I smoke to relax my mind and go to bed. I stopped smoking for 2 days now and have been detoxing w/ cranberry juice and water. I have been looking for work but no interviews scheduled. I'm going to continue to stop smoke but worry if I don't find work soon I may start up again. Anyhoo, accordingly to previous posts I will start taking B2 or B12 Complex vitamin soon. Also some Creatine pills. Is there any other suggestions? I don't believe in these online "detox" drinks.
 
This detox test should work for you. It doesn't really matter how much you have in your system. With the home remedy I'm suggesting, you are actually using your bladder as a "storage" bag for the fluid (that looks like urine) that you are going to put in the bottle. The fluid is actually "imitation urine" made up of water, creatine and riboflavin (to give it color)...

Don't believe that this drug will "detox" you for real. It will take up to a month to completely clear out. Detox drinks like mine will not flush all the chemicals out of your system that smoking such copious amounts of weed put there in the fist place. That is just going to take time. However, you should still drink this, because it is healthy to drink a lot of fluids, and this concoction has water soluble (you can't OD on them) B Vitamins which are great for giving you energy, and it also has the creatine to give you more stamina should you decide to exercise --I would recommend long, meandering walks-- which will help you sleep, and give you an appetite. Not to mention, the cranberry prevents a UTI (urinary tract infection)

Good luck finding work (I'm in the same boat) --When you do, this drink will fool the urine test, if one is required where you work.

Here is the recipe for my "detox drink" --I'm not a weed site, or forum, so make sure you come right back here to 420magazine.com after you bookmark the detox drink page. Let us know how it worked for you. And thanks to the staff here at 420mag for letting me post the link here on this cool site. :-)

DIY Marijuana Detox Home Remedy
 
Thanks kdelik for your response. I'll try your detox drink and let you all know of the results. Meanwhile I will try those long walk cuz it's been 3 days and I can't get a good night sleep. I was up all night again tossing and turning. Not even for a second. I even tried tea.
 
Thanks for all the input! Because of this site, I purchased 2 bottles of quikfix. Both are from batch # 132L03N. I plan to use one to practice and one for the real urine test. My concern is will the labs be able to detect that the urine is fake? To be on the safe side, Ive not smoked for 2 weeks and have been pushing the water. Before I got the news that I had to go in for a drug test, I was a heavy smoker, moderately sedentary lifestyle and I weigh 170 pounds. I took a home drug test (test is called First Check) a few days ago and passed. Im suspicious of the results because I know my habits before I stopped smoking. Im torn which route I should take. Use the QuickFix or go natural? If I use the Quikfix, will they be able to detect it? Test is at Lab Corp or Quest Disgnostic. Thanks for the input!!
 
Thanks for all the input! Because of this site, I purchased 2 bottles of quikfix. Both are from batch # 132L03N. I plan to use one to practice and one for the real urine test. My concern is will the labs be able to detect that the urine is fake? To be on the safe side, Ive not smoked for 2 weeks and have been pushing the water. Before I got the news that I had to go in for a drug test, I was a heavy smoker, moderately sedentary lifestyle and I weigh 170 pounds. I took a home drug test (test is called First Check) a few days ago and passed. Im suspicious of the results because I know my habits before I stopped smoking. Im torn which route I should take. Use the QuickFix or go natural? If I use the Quikfix, will they be able to detect it? Test is at Lab Corp or Quest Disgnostic. Thanks for the input!!
 
I have been reading everything I can find on the internet about how to pass a urine test for THCI have done literally everything possible have been smoke free for 7 days just tested this morning and still positive I am 5 Ft And 100 pounds and I need some real answers to how to do this and for the people that are so rude and have to tell everybody what a piece of crap they are for smoking in the first place I don't need that just real helpful tips otherwise I don't need the judgment it's not for the police its for the doctor so that I can be treated properlyno judgement necessar. Thanks to anyone rhat could help me with some real answers. I have my urine test tomorrow afternoon: ) please
 
I just took a 10 panel test at a test lab to check myself and came out positive for thc with a 36 ng/ml with a screen cutoff at 50 ng/ml and a confirmation at 15 ng/ml. I'm 5 11 a and I'm at 250 and I haven't smoked in 30 days what do I do to lower this number to pass a test in 4 to 5 days. I have been workout and jogging every since the test I took 6 days ago. Would dilution work? Please help and thanks a million
 
I have 2 do a UA (not gonna go n2 why) n 10 hours. I'm freaking out right now .. I'm using my little cousins pee. I've been reading of people just putting it n their bras or using hand warmers 2 get the right temp. Has anyone just put it n their boobs before? My friends r telling me 2 use a little plastic bottle and put it n my vag with aluminum foil at the end & then poke a hole n the foil when I go 2 get it. I would obviously much rather put it n my bra but will it b the right temp?? Has anyone done either of these & passed? Which one should I do? HELP MEEEEEE there is no way I'm using my own pee.
 
Sorry for the late response. I never tried substituting, I'm too nervous for that and I'm afraid I'll get caught. I ended up going the Sure Jell Certo route and it worked for me. I took a home test prior and failed. Then I drank the certo mix w/ Gatorade and 32 oz of water and was able to pass. Some say it works and others say no, but for me I had no problem. I even recommended it to a few people. I took the labcorp test and pass and now I'm waiting for training to start for a part-time job. What did you end up doing w/ your UA?
 
Thank you for this info. I tested positive at the VA and they took my PTSD med away. They are giving me another test soon so I think I will get some synthetic urine. Does that stuff store well? What I mean is can I buy it and keep it for a month or so before the test. Kind of an insurance policy of sorts. Side note...weed helps me more than anything with pain and PTSD, but I have severe social anxiety disorder so Valium before I go to a movie or family function works great if I don't want to act like a knucklehead around family members lol. I tend to get chatty when high and I'm normally a pretty quiet guy.
 
Exclamation Army Drug Tests



I shared a skimpy blunt with about 5 people, 6 people including myself this past weekend. I may or may NOT have a drug test this coming weekend for the army but in the case of actually having one, I need to be clean. What are my options? I am a bodybuilder and I workout 5 days a week and do minimum cardio. 1 gallon of water everyday(Always have done it) and I take multi vitamins and other supplements. Keeping in mind a smoked about 3 weeks ago with another friend and we smoked 3.5 grams together. HELP ME OUT FELLOW STONERS!
 
TSwole it is really easy to pass most UAs just as long as no one is watching you. I bought a devise years ago and it works every time!
its called the urinator and really easy to use. I use bicycle shorts with one leg tapped closed to prevent it from falling out. its a little costly bout $150. but you will never ever have to worry about testing Pos. again. I have used mine about 25 times and my son also has used it often to pass employment UA's. It has never failed. you can trust a young friend or family member to donate clean Pee or order the synthetic pee from the same website. the synthetic urine has a shelf life of over a year so its there when the time pops up. The batteries and computer chip keep the safely stored urine in a sterile sack next to a warmer that keeps the temp at 98 deg for over 9 hours. If you are in a jam right now then go to GNC and they have flush kits that range from 1 month to 1 hour ready clean products. the 1 hour Q cleanse will have your liver bypassed for a 4 hour period and thats when you can take your UA but you need an hour before it works. If its a on the spot surprise UA then you need to be ready all day long with the urinatior stored in your crotch safely at 98 degrees. GNC has a 7 day cleansing formula that will clean you out as your a lightweight smoker. 1 month detoxify formula works the best if you have that kinda time.
 
TSwole said:
Could I have a friend with clean urine piss in a ziplock bag and I tape that to my thigh ?
Click to expand...

Literally just took a UA pre-employment test with a friend's urine. Do not use a ziplock bag. I mean you COULD, but I had him use a regular condom. I tried not to use anything with a ton of spermicide, but according to research that won't flag you for failing anyway.

Easy part was getting together with him, giving him a condom, telling him to go ahead and fill that bad boy up and tie it off nice and tight. I took that filled condom, threw on some tighty-whities, or any underwear very tight/secure will work. I don't recommend boxer briefs because sometimes the legs aren't as tight and you don't want anything slipping down, especially because you need to have a tool of some sort to poke a hole. I used mini nail clippers, just threw those in with the condom, right under your sac basically. Since the condom will be elongated, it sort of sits from your "taint" up to the side of your thang. Pick which side you want it on.

Good test is to use water first, get used to the feeling of it in your pants. It won't be visibly noticeable, but you will likely be concerned that if you walk normally or sit you could burst it. You'd be surprised how resilient condoms are (manufacturers don't want them bursting and all). So fill one up with water, wear it around for a bit, sit down with it (because you will have to sit down at some point to fill out paperwork/sign forms), it won't break, trust me.

For me temperature was the most stressful part. I've heard they can be real strict insofar if its under 96 or over 98 they flag it. Dunno what sort of tests those are, but for pre-emp UA testing through Quest, your window is 90-100F. That should be plenty if you are doing it same day. If you are storing piss in a fridge or something I can't really help with that.

So basically he came over, peed in a condom, tied it off, I took the condom, put it in my undies, put the small nail clippers on the other side in my undies then went straight to the drug test place. On my way there I cranked up my seat warmer (if you have one crank it to full) and threw a fleece blanket I happened to have onto my crotch to really get the sweat going. It was only an 8min drive from my house to the testing facility.

I got in, acted smooth, didn't ask any stupid questions like "when do you get the results?" "when do you test for temperature?" "do people get false positives?" Just don't ask any questions really. At all. Smile, act comfortable but basically act like you're being forced to pee in a cup, because you are lol..

Got into the bathroom, since it was pre-employment UA I was not observed. They said take as long as you want, just don't flush, don't turn on the sink, don't open the top of the toilet. Easy stuff. He closed the door, I opened my pants (oh btw I dressed up a little bit, slacks and a tucked in Polo, felt I would look less like a shitball, which I don't anyway, but still, I acted like I just left work to do it), then I pulled out the condom, snipped the tip with the clippers while the condom was pretty much in the cup already, in case it shot out at a weird angle (which of course it did, so I was happy I cut it while it was in the cup already). Then I just squeezed it in like a tube of tooth paste. I actually ended up having way too much pee so I squeezed the rest into the toilet, which is allowed.

The guy told me that from the minute I say I'm done, they as techs have 4min to check the temp. The cup itself had a thermometer strip on it which is what they go off of. I didn't actually check that strip to see the temp because I was pretty confident, but my plan, in the event I felt it was too cold and I looked at the strip and it read 88 or something, would be to put the cup on the very edge of the toilet where it sort of rounds off, then accidentally knock it over and start swearing "Awww fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, uhhhhhh" then open the door and tell the guy, "Yea sooo....I dropped the cup...." Not sure what they would do, but at least it would trash that sample and just make you look clumsy. There's a chance they will make you hang out until you had to pee again, in which case you are fucked.

So anyway, I emptied the condom, stuffed everything back into my undies (which there was still a little reservoir left and honestly some of it leaked into my underwear and I felt very digusting--I showered immediately when I got home because my junk had someone else's piss on it). Then I opened the door told him I was done, he took the sample, checked the temp on the cup said "looks good to me" (ended up being 94F btw) and then I continued on to sign and initial the samples and forms etc.

Then I strolled on out of there.

TL;DR: For pre-emp UA ONLY: Friend pisses in condom, ties it off tight, store in tighty-whities under sac, include a small tool to poke a hole, go to testing facility ASAP to keep temp nominal, use seat warmer on high if you have it while heading there, go in bathroom, poke hole in condom, empty contents into cup, put used condom and tool back in underwear, turn in cup. You would have to be sitting around for quite some time for temp to go below their 90F minimum.
 
I felt it my duty to post up my results of my UA here since I got a great deal of my info from the first post in this thread.

I smoked 4 days before my test, and before that once or so a day of pretty good quality stuff. I weigh about 220 lbs. I used the dilution method.

The day before my test I ate a big ribeye that was med-rare (for creatin) I also bought creatin tablets from Walgreens and took the full dose of those, it was 7 pills. I also bought a B-vitamin complex.

The day of my test, I took 4 more creatin for good measure and I started drinking water 4 hours before pee time. I drank a tall water glass full every time I thought about it, but not enough to make me sick. About a glass (24 oz?) every 10-15 mins. After about 45 mins or so I was peeing completely clear. I continued to drink until I left the house for the test.

Two hours before my test, I saw that the B-2 mg in the vitamin complex was around 12.5mg, so from the original post here, shooting for between 80 and 100mg, I took 8 of them. I continued to drink water and within 30 mins my clear urin had a faint tinge of yellow.. passable for pee. In retrospect I might have shot for another 2-3 vitamins to darken it up a bit.. but it looked like well hydrated pee.

My test was at a doc-in-the-box that followed a pretty strict regimin of empty pockets, no hat, blue the toilet water and no flushing. The test was then sent to Quest Diagnostics for processing. I did a mid-stream catch...peed a bit, then pinched off and grabbed mid-stream for the cup.

Since they dont announce you passed, I do not have absolute test results, but I have been working for 3 weeks now so I can only assume I passed.

Thank you for this invaluable info, it got me my job.
 
Just wanted to add my story here. I had to take a pre employment urine test at Labcorp in July of 2014. I figured i was completely screwed due to the fact that i have been an everyday smoker for the past 18 years. I was hoping that the job i was trying to get wouldn't test me but of course they did. I smoke on saturday night with my buddies then had to take the urine test on tuesday. I didn't want to get busted using fake urine and all of my friends smoke so i would have been screwed substituting. I figure my only option was using a detox drink. I went to my local smoke shop and bought Rescue Ice Detox drink. After reading everything on all of the forums i wasn't sure that it would work. I followed the directions on the bottle and drank the whole thing even though it tasted nasty. To make a long story short I passed my test and was offered a job. I would not only recommend Rescue Ice Detox, but i would use it again
 
Back
Top Bottom