New member to the forum. looking for some direction around becoming a legal medical user inside state of today's medical program in Canada. I am sorry for the wall of text, I would like my history known so someone who is more educated than I am in the system can advise.
Info about myself; I am in my late 30's, I was 1st introduced into recreational use of cannabis when I was 15. As a teen I did experiment with other drugs however cannabis was my recreational choice; I will come back to this in a moment. Most of my peer group preferred to use alcohol as such I was labeled at a young age as a "pot head or drug addict". Inside my peer group I was the stoner...
As a teenager I was always uncomfortable in public, always awkward and became very stressed and had extreme anxiety when in groups or around people in general, even people I knew who I considered friends. This is where cannabis became my recreational choice. At social gatherings, public events, or just a close group of friends got together if I was able to have a few puffs of a joint prior or during the social awkwardness was dissipated stress and anxiety were manageable but not gone. In my early 20's I was involved in a single car accident, I hit a patch of black ice on a corner and slid off the road. I hit a mailbox that was cemented 5' into the frozen ground; it stopped my car dead. On the outside cuts, bruises and pride hurt. Emergency released me that night with T3's as a pain killer. A couple of weeks after that is when the pain started in my lower back. Several years of doctor's visits physio, acupuncture, chiropractors, x-rays nobody could tell me what was wrong and nothing was working. I was still using cannabis to manage my anxiety, at this point I called it my medicine. I advised my Dr that pain was always there, some days more than others. My Dr knew about my anxiety as a teen it was even hard for me to visit him, some days I had to have a few puffs of joint outside of his office. When I told him that I was managing my pain and anxiety with cannabis; his exact words were "if it helps don't stop using it" that unfortunately is where our conversation ended about the subject. All my prescriptions were over the counter because nothing was ever diagnosed.
I was blessed with having a child at a young age, made me grow up real fast, find stable employment and provide for my child. Where I was employed had "zero tolerance" policy and involved regular drug tests. A conversation with my Dr and how cannabis was useful with my anxiety and pain was met with a response of it is an illegal substance. I discussed with my parents, and again was told I needed to stop the childish drug use and be a role model for my child. I am sure my Dr didn't believe me about my anxiety, when I asked him for medication to help gave me several choices but I couldn't operate heavy machinery... guess what my employment was. I was lucky my job allowed me to be by myself for the majority of the time, I was able to control my anxiety with very little public contact or social interaction the back pain on the other hand did not go away. My visits with my Dr had all but stopped, I didn't seek another I managed my pain with a couple of Advil, Tynol or Robaxin whatever I had and whatever worked that night to get to sleep.
My child passed away at the age of 7 to natural causes. I watched medical staff at the hospital preform CPR, I had to tell them to stop.
I lost faith in a lot of the medical community due in part to my previous experiences with my Dr, and this instance; I couldn't go to that very hospital to visit my mother when she was sick because of the anxiety. Jump forward to today. I do not have a family Dr. I have not seen him in over 15 years. I called the last location where he was located. It is still a Dr's office however they have had several practices in there in those 15 years, can't find my medical records. All of my visits to emergency are still at my local hospital but they are nothing related to anxiety or back pain, or anything related to all the treatment I have had for back pain.
I am currently self medicating with cannabis, several years ago I was able to transfer to another position inside the company where despite the "zero tolerance" policy I didn't need to have drug tests. Mainly it is used for my back pain and stress and getting to sleep at night. My anxiety is low at work I have been around those people for a lot of my adult life and know them. It is still present in my life, and even something simple as a shopping trip. Almost all of the time I have to leave my wife inside the store and leave. My source of medicine has been a close friend I met back in high school. Recently this friend couldn't provide me with anything and advised me he is no longer going to be able to do so.
So if you have read this wall of text, I thank you. It felt good to go over my life like this; due to the anonymity of the internet this was my first time actually speaking of it and anxiety levels are low about it.
Now I have been doing a lot of research over a month about what the MMPR is currently. Knowing what I have described earlier with NO medical history available that I can currently track down. Would I even have a chance to get into the MMPR program or am I going to have to self medicate? I am all for making my medicine legal; even the Dr visit that needs to happen is causing me some anxiety.
Thanks and take care.
Info about myself; I am in my late 30's, I was 1st introduced into recreational use of cannabis when I was 15. As a teen I did experiment with other drugs however cannabis was my recreational choice; I will come back to this in a moment. Most of my peer group preferred to use alcohol as such I was labeled at a young age as a "pot head or drug addict". Inside my peer group I was the stoner...
As a teenager I was always uncomfortable in public, always awkward and became very stressed and had extreme anxiety when in groups or around people in general, even people I knew who I considered friends. This is where cannabis became my recreational choice. At social gatherings, public events, or just a close group of friends got together if I was able to have a few puffs of a joint prior or during the social awkwardness was dissipated stress and anxiety were manageable but not gone. In my early 20's I was involved in a single car accident, I hit a patch of black ice on a corner and slid off the road. I hit a mailbox that was cemented 5' into the frozen ground; it stopped my car dead. On the outside cuts, bruises and pride hurt. Emergency released me that night with T3's as a pain killer. A couple of weeks after that is when the pain started in my lower back. Several years of doctor's visits physio, acupuncture, chiropractors, x-rays nobody could tell me what was wrong and nothing was working. I was still using cannabis to manage my anxiety, at this point I called it my medicine. I advised my Dr that pain was always there, some days more than others. My Dr knew about my anxiety as a teen it was even hard for me to visit him, some days I had to have a few puffs of joint outside of his office. When I told him that I was managing my pain and anxiety with cannabis; his exact words were "if it helps don't stop using it" that unfortunately is where our conversation ended about the subject. All my prescriptions were over the counter because nothing was ever diagnosed.
I was blessed with having a child at a young age, made me grow up real fast, find stable employment and provide for my child. Where I was employed had "zero tolerance" policy and involved regular drug tests. A conversation with my Dr and how cannabis was useful with my anxiety and pain was met with a response of it is an illegal substance. I discussed with my parents, and again was told I needed to stop the childish drug use and be a role model for my child. I am sure my Dr didn't believe me about my anxiety, when I asked him for medication to help gave me several choices but I couldn't operate heavy machinery... guess what my employment was. I was lucky my job allowed me to be by myself for the majority of the time, I was able to control my anxiety with very little public contact or social interaction the back pain on the other hand did not go away. My visits with my Dr had all but stopped, I didn't seek another I managed my pain with a couple of Advil, Tynol or Robaxin whatever I had and whatever worked that night to get to sleep.
My child passed away at the age of 7 to natural causes. I watched medical staff at the hospital preform CPR, I had to tell them to stop.
I lost faith in a lot of the medical community due in part to my previous experiences with my Dr, and this instance; I couldn't go to that very hospital to visit my mother when she was sick because of the anxiety. Jump forward to today. I do not have a family Dr. I have not seen him in over 15 years. I called the last location where he was located. It is still a Dr's office however they have had several practices in there in those 15 years, can't find my medical records. All of my visits to emergency are still at my local hospital but they are nothing related to anxiety or back pain, or anything related to all the treatment I have had for back pain.
I am currently self medicating with cannabis, several years ago I was able to transfer to another position inside the company where despite the "zero tolerance" policy I didn't need to have drug tests. Mainly it is used for my back pain and stress and getting to sleep at night. My anxiety is low at work I have been around those people for a lot of my adult life and know them. It is still present in my life, and even something simple as a shopping trip. Almost all of the time I have to leave my wife inside the store and leave. My source of medicine has been a close friend I met back in high school. Recently this friend couldn't provide me with anything and advised me he is no longer going to be able to do so.
So if you have read this wall of text, I thank you. It felt good to go over my life like this; due to the anonymity of the internet this was my first time actually speaking of it and anxiety levels are low about it.
Now I have been doing a lot of research over a month about what the MMPR is currently. Knowing what I have described earlier with NO medical history available that I can currently track down. Would I even have a chance to get into the MMPR program or am I going to have to self medicate? I am all for making my medicine legal; even the Dr visit that needs to happen is causing me some anxiety.
Thanks and take care.
