I'm not really sure how this works yet but I figure I'll pick it up eventually and if I don't...I didn't need it anyway. I assume I can just write my thoughts here or stuff about me or whatever and it's all good.
For starters, the basic facts: I'm 43, white, female and I live in Montana. I have suffered from fibromyalgia quite possibly since infancy. I don't remember life without pain that's for certain. The chronic fatigue didn't really set in until after the birth of my daughter when I was 20 but I think it really started when I was 18. At least it didn't get down right debilitating until I was in my mid to late 30's although there were times all throughout when I would be down for weeks or months so it is hard to put specific dates on it. I do not remember not having to struggle for every inch of feeling just the tiniest bit better for any amount of time, no matter how short. The fact that the conditions I suffer seem to come and go (they may go into remission but they never go far) is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that I, unlike so many other unfortunate souls, at least get some break, however short, from my symptoms (or at least the worst of them). The curse is that it makes it a little harder to go back to being so sick the rest of the time. BUT...it has made me stronger and has helped me learn so many things that I wish everyone could understand. I can finally be okay with the fact that it won't ever get better or go away. It still sucks, of course but my new medication makes it a little better.
I want everyone to know the difference marijuana makes for me because I know it is the same for so many others. With fibromyalgia especially, a person is prone to be more sensitive to chemicals and drugs and that sort of stuff. Well, of all of the medications they have tried over the last 25 years to treat my symptoms (including the treatments for the first 10-15 years of misdiagnosis) there were only ever a couple of them that I did not have serious side effects from. Not the irritating side effects, oh no, not me. Although I had my share of those, more often than not I had the ones that are so bad that you can't take the medication anyway. So, I was kinda forced to find alternative solutions in the first place. I have made all of my forward progress with natural solutions wherever possible. I have made lifestyle changes that weren't easy (but they were effective), and changed the way I do almost everything (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.). I have a ton of little tricks to get around the fact that I have one of the worst memories in history. It is so bad that even with all of my tricks it is still obvious to any one paying attention. But, "I get by with a little help from my friends."
The most significant point to me personally about marijuana as an effective treatment is that as far as side effects, I don't have to worry. Let me explain:
#1: If I suffer from side effects from medication prescribed by my doctor and purchased from the local pharmacy, even if I only take one or two pills and then stop because of side effects, the damage can linger for months. It can take me anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months to regain any ground I lose when this happens. It is frustrating and discouraging at best. Down right frightening at worst. BUT...with marijuana, if I smoke a strain that literally knocks me out (have to be careful with the chronic fatigue) all I have to do is sleep it off. No harm, no foul. In my world, you can't beat that.
#2:Try to imagine now all the different meds. the doctors have tried in 25 years and figure to suffer at least one if not 2 or 3 side effects from them... every one of them. And always hoping it's not one of the fatal side effects because some of the ones I've had have been off the very rare occurrence list. Not comforting. Would you really, at this point, be willing to keep trying new stuff and hope the cure doesn't kill you? Not me. So my second point is that I come to marijuana out of necessity because they've run out of man-made crap to try and even if they had something new, I'm pretty sure I can count on side effects of some sort. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box but I can learn and I have learned the painful way about my reaction to medications. I have finally convinced my current doctor that I am not trying to be uncooperative when I refuse to try new things now. I just can't take many more of the set backs. Every time it happens I lose a little more permanent ground.
Gonna quit for now. Figure I'll just pop in and write whatever. Hope you find it helpful or at least amusing and entertaining. Don't expect a lot. Keep up the good fight.
Wed. 4/7/10
I'm back, too tired to think straight so if I don't make much sense....welcome to my world.
It is very difficult sometimes to maintain the illusion I've created that all is well. I've got the shakes so bad it is hard to type. Woke up nauseous. Still am really. Medication isn't even working too well. I would actually be throwing up if not for the MJ.
Like I said yesterday, I don't really know what should go in a blog. I always thought it was like a public journal or something. I think that is the way I will use it. Maybe it will help me keep track of my illness better.
Was going to write more but am starting to feel much worse. Think I'll have to lay down for a while. This really sucks.
For starters, the basic facts: I'm 43, white, female and I live in Montana. I have suffered from fibromyalgia quite possibly since infancy. I don't remember life without pain that's for certain. The chronic fatigue didn't really set in until after the birth of my daughter when I was 20 but I think it really started when I was 18. At least it didn't get down right debilitating until I was in my mid to late 30's although there were times all throughout when I would be down for weeks or months so it is hard to put specific dates on it. I do not remember not having to struggle for every inch of feeling just the tiniest bit better for any amount of time, no matter how short. The fact that the conditions I suffer seem to come and go (they may go into remission but they never go far) is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that I, unlike so many other unfortunate souls, at least get some break, however short, from my symptoms (or at least the worst of them). The curse is that it makes it a little harder to go back to being so sick the rest of the time. BUT...it has made me stronger and has helped me learn so many things that I wish everyone could understand. I can finally be okay with the fact that it won't ever get better or go away. It still sucks, of course but my new medication makes it a little better.
I want everyone to know the difference marijuana makes for me because I know it is the same for so many others. With fibromyalgia especially, a person is prone to be more sensitive to chemicals and drugs and that sort of stuff. Well, of all of the medications they have tried over the last 25 years to treat my symptoms (including the treatments for the first 10-15 years of misdiagnosis) there were only ever a couple of them that I did not have serious side effects from. Not the irritating side effects, oh no, not me. Although I had my share of those, more often than not I had the ones that are so bad that you can't take the medication anyway. So, I was kinda forced to find alternative solutions in the first place. I have made all of my forward progress with natural solutions wherever possible. I have made lifestyle changes that weren't easy (but they were effective), and changed the way I do almost everything (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.). I have a ton of little tricks to get around the fact that I have one of the worst memories in history. It is so bad that even with all of my tricks it is still obvious to any one paying attention. But, "I get by with a little help from my friends."
The most significant point to me personally about marijuana as an effective treatment is that as far as side effects, I don't have to worry. Let me explain:
#1: If I suffer from side effects from medication prescribed by my doctor and purchased from the local pharmacy, even if I only take one or two pills and then stop because of side effects, the damage can linger for months. It can take me anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months to regain any ground I lose when this happens. It is frustrating and discouraging at best. Down right frightening at worst. BUT...with marijuana, if I smoke a strain that literally knocks me out (have to be careful with the chronic fatigue) all I have to do is sleep it off. No harm, no foul. In my world, you can't beat that.
#2:Try to imagine now all the different meds. the doctors have tried in 25 years and figure to suffer at least one if not 2 or 3 side effects from them... every one of them. And always hoping it's not one of the fatal side effects because some of the ones I've had have been off the very rare occurrence list. Not comforting. Would you really, at this point, be willing to keep trying new stuff and hope the cure doesn't kill you? Not me. So my second point is that I come to marijuana out of necessity because they've run out of man-made crap to try and even if they had something new, I'm pretty sure I can count on side effects of some sort. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box but I can learn and I have learned the painful way about my reaction to medications. I have finally convinced my current doctor that I am not trying to be uncooperative when I refuse to try new things now. I just can't take many more of the set backs. Every time it happens I lose a little more permanent ground.
Gonna quit for now. Figure I'll just pop in and write whatever. Hope you find it helpful or at least amusing and entertaining. Don't expect a lot. Keep up the good fight.
Wed. 4/7/10
I'm back, too tired to think straight so if I don't make much sense....welcome to my world.
It is very difficult sometimes to maintain the illusion I've created that all is well. I've got the shakes so bad it is hard to type. Woke up nauseous. Still am really. Medication isn't even working too well. I would actually be throwing up if not for the MJ.
Like I said yesterday, I don't really know what should go in a blog. I always thought it was like a public journal or something. I think that is the way I will use it. Maybe it will help me keep track of my illness better.
Was going to write more but am starting to feel much worse. Think I'll have to lay down for a while. This really sucks.
